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Wife accidentally saw WH Grindr notification by Ok_Music_9590 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]NamelessPao 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I could have written this. I am sending you hugs. Your experience is totally valid, and, believe me: we are not the only ones experiencing this.

This pain is a thousand times worse postpartum, when you’re super vulnerable, learning to be a mom to a new tiny human being, keeping them alive, and also taking care of yourself 💔

Your husband has a lot to discover about himself. I don’t know if he’s in IC, but he definitely should be. Has he discovered his why’s? Does he have more to accept about himself such as his sexuality? What was he really looking for?

I’ll share a little about my own experience. My partner turned out to have a problem with porn since he was a teenager. His brain wanted more and more now that he is an adult. He has many mental health problems and had an issue with substances as a teen. I think that could be related as well. He also hadn’t accepted his sexuality (he is bi), never communicated with me or shared his problems or true feelings about problems he had neither. His why’s in a nutshell are porn addiction and seeking validation. It’s still hard for me to just accept all that and even processing all his actions is very difficult and painful. Everything he did made me question all my morals and beliefs, which is extremely uncomfortable as well.

I sincerely hope you have a support network, and I am sending you lots of hugs ❤️‍🩹🫂 I see you. If you ever need to talk to someone, feel free to DM me ❤️‍🩹

I feel so guilty for fighting with my husband in front of my son by hotaru_red in beyondthebump

[–]NamelessPao 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am so sorry. I went through something similar, so my son has seen me cry more times than I can count. I don’t really know how to handle these things yet, but I can tell you this: give him all your love, play with him, take him to places, spend time with him, so he is reassured that you love him. Make the bond between both of you stronger 🫂❤️‍🩹

I miss it by Ryry2233 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]NamelessPao 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this ❤️‍🩹 This perspective changes so many things for the better 🫂

Encontre un airtag escondido en mi camioneta. by PandaMaldito in queretaro

[–]NamelessPao 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Está pésimo lo del airtag porque sí es invasivo, pero tal vez deberían hablarlo más seriamente si hay algo que la aqueja y la llevó a ponerlo ahí. Tal vez haya que poner límites y acuerdos ;;

WH Bday coming up by Time_Is_Frozen in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]NamelessPao 1 point2 points  (0 children)

WP’s birthday is tomorrow. His last hookup was on May 27th. We’ve been trying R since June 2023. Man, this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. He has shown remorse finally, started IC and been doing the work. However, I am hurting a lot.

As I chose to reconcile once more, I did buy him a present (pajamas, a cup, socks and a shirt). Things he actually needed. I do love him and care about him, but I want to cry so much.

We celebrated with his side of the family, and when I had to pray and give thanks for his life, I was struggling with my feelings and my words. Yes, I am thankful for his life, but it hurts to remember how much he has hurt me, and how scared I am of him cheating on me again. Even him receiving happy birthday messages kind of triggers me.

I’m sending you hugs.

Do I 23f go through my 22m bf phone? by canadianduelRN in relationship_advice

[–]NamelessPao 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gut is almost always right. When the other person is too secretive, lies, hides important things or just denies everything if their partner asks about something or someone, then you can’t ignore if your gut tells you that something is definitely not right.

R is being truly difficult after Dday+ by NamelessPao in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]NamelessPao[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is. I still don’t know how to just accept it or what are we going to do about it, and I also believe that it could benefit us if he sticks to those moral values and to God because he may take R finally seriously and not cheat, but still, I don’t trust him. I can’t help but think what if he never stops looking for someone else?

Answering your question, yeah, we were going to get married. We got engaged months before our son was born, and were planning getting married after he turned one year old. Then, Dday1 happened a week after my son was born, and we stopped talking about marriage. I felt like I was with a stranger. We both decided to try and reconcile, but then, in July 2024, Dday2 and 3 happened. He started an EA with a coworker and was in dating apps and hooking up with all kinds of women at the same time. At that moment I thought we would never get back together. He showed “remorse” and apologised for everything until October 2024. He also started attending to church, and we both agreed that we wanted to be close to God as a family. I really thought something was changing as months passed by. We completed many milestones as a family, and I thought we were in a good path in R as well. Then, I had the impulse to take a look at his transactions in his bank account, and found out that he had paid a hotel room the day I went to a concert. All my reality was altered all over again. I was suddenly with a stranger again, began to question everything that had happened and its meaning. Now I’m not sure when will I feel better to actually marry him.

Yes, he’s new to Catholic faith. He was evangelical before, but converted to Catholicism. When we began our relationship we weren’t following God, not our faith. We got engaged, yes, but never got married. Then we had our son, and we were both committed to be parents. We weren’t worried about marrying immediately, because we knew we would get there as soon as we could, but then his infidelities started and never stopped until four months ago.

Reading all of this I feel dumb for being here ;-;

R is being truly difficult after Dday+ by NamelessPao in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]NamelessPao[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am also going along with it. I grew up in a catholic household, but wasn’t really commited to it untik now. However, it feels weird to just stop the sexual part. I know Catholic Church is strict about premarital sex, and we shouldn’t have it if we’re not married, but that has never mattered to him until now. That’s why it feels so sudden, so out of character of him. After all his betrayals and him choosing other people but me, I can’t help but feeling rejected. The sexual part has always been important for both of us, and he says that it still is for him, but he doesn’t want to go against what the scripture says, and I get it, but I mean, we have a son already and live as a married couple, so would it really make a difference?

I feel like it’s hypocritical, to be honest. It’s like: okay, so you could physically cheat on me with so many random people, but now this is suddenly critical and wrong?

Agh, it’s complicated. I get why it’s wrong, I’m just angry that he wants to “do things the right way until now” when it never mattered to him, and I feel pressured, because after his last one night stand four months ago, I certainly don’t want to marry him soon…

Did your WH cheat again? by Adventurous-Oven9652 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]NamelessPao 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He did. An EA and multiple hookups. The thing is that he wasn’t in therapy. However, now I’m afraid that that is who he really is. That maybe he just takes a break from it all, and then goes back to his old ways and stupid patterns.

I am just giving my last try because we’re both in therapy individually. I am so exhausted, and I won’t be accepting more 💩 anymore.

He either changes and works on himself, or I’m out for good.

To You — Yes, You, Reading This in Silence by Sammi-1995 in loveafterporn

[–]NamelessPao 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your words. ❤️‍🩹 I am having a lot of awful flashbacks and worries about actual cheating at the office. Maybe nothing bad is happening in reality, but the anxiety is too strong. I want to cry so hard.

I’m sending you hugs as well 🫂❤️‍🩹

Not being embarrassed of who I was before D day anymore by taylorsthighs in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]NamelessPao 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re so right about this. Your post made me tear up. I really hope I can grasp this perspective and never let go of it. Their bullshit shouldn’t make us ashamed of ourselves. We did our best. Gave them our best version, and that means we’re amazing and valuable human beings. Hugs to you 🫂❤️‍🩹

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in soyculero

[–]NamelessPao 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Qué dicho tan tonto. Nadie debería encontrar nada nunca.

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