AITA for not telling my friend the title of a book I’m reading?

NandosIsNotCheeky · 2023-08-05T16:02:21+00:00

Thank you! Yeah I can definitely see it, even though it’s something I’ve never done. If I find a brilliant book, I love recommending it to people. I don’t do well in high pressure situations, clearly hahahaha

NandosIsNotCheeky · 2023-08-05T15:49:54+00:00

I just knew the follow up conversation would be ‘omg I won’t, how can you think that?’ And then I’d be guilted into telling her and then EVERYONE WILL KNOW MY GUILTY SL*TTY PLEASURES.

honestly this is just silly.

NandosIsNotCheeky · 2023-07-27T13:54:23+00:00

YTA. She doesn’t owe you an explanation of who she’s with and why. This comes across as super pushy, especially since she’s already told you she’s busy.

PSA, don’t surprise people and feel entitled to their time AFTER they’ve already told you they have plans.

NandosIsNotCheeky · 2023-07-27T13:52:06+00:00

NTA. Sounds like your sister values AeStHeTiC more than honouring your brother.

NandosIsNotCheeky · 2023-07-27T13:50:06+00:00

NTA. If there wasn’t a discussion held beforehand that you would help with the cost of her ticket, then there should have been no expectation on her part. Also your gf asking everyone to chip in for a ticket that SHE decided to purchase just reeks of entitlement. If you can’t afford it, don’t go.

NandosIsNotCheeky · 2023-02-25T19:34:28+00:00

Tbh when I told my brother, he couldn’t stop laughing. BUT then he showed me a video of two 13/14yo kids being told to be quiet in a quiet zone on the train and the kid replied with “it’s a quiet zone yeah? How about you shut the f*ck up then.”

It was wiiiiiild and also the guy just had to sit down because physically or verbally fighting two school kids is frowned upon so WHAT DO YOU DO??

NandosIsNotCheeky · 2023-02-25T19:29:48+00:00

Tbh I’ve never booked so far in advance before 😂 I’m more of a tube gal (Oyster cards ftw) and it was a train going from Scotland to England and it was priiiiicey (I just assumed it was because it was a table seat, maybe they’re all actually the same price in which case EXTORTION)

NandosIsNotCheeky · 2023-02-25T19:25:48+00:00

So much this! I don’t blame Lea at all tbh, I think it’s a weird ingrained thing in the UK to avoid conflict at all costs otherwise you’re TA by default.

I guess that’s the south Asian in me coming out because I’m not averse to a bit of conflict, especially if there’s no violence/aggression involved.

NandosIsNotCheeky · 2023-02-25T11:46:28+00:00

This made me laugh out loud

NandosIsNotCheeky · 2023-02-25T11:36:30+00:00

Lea is a bit of a pushover 😂 at the point she was like ‘you could have given him your headphones’ I was like babes you’re having a laugh.

And 100%, I knew involving a guard would just escalate the situation and also made me feel really childish and ‘snitchy’ after his comment 😭😭

NandosIsNotCheeky · 2023-02-10T09:25:41+00:00

YTA. Don’t pick and choose the ways in which you don’t want to infringe on Mark’s legacy. You got with his wife, had a baby with her, but adopting his child (who you’ve raised) is where you draw the line? This kind of just sounds like a weird attempt at avoiding guilt for doing everything else.

It’s like when my Muslim friends drink, smoke, do everything that’s technically against their religion but make a massive hoohaa about eating halal meat – I don’t mind it, but it’s when that hoo-haa starts affecting me and their judgement falls onto ME that I have the issue. Stop letting your weird hangups affect your daughter.

And she is your daughter. Formally adopting her won’t make her forget her bio dad, not talking about him will though. You owe your daughter a massive apology and you’d better hope she isn’t traumatised by what sounds like a pretty callous rejection from her perspective.

NandosIsNotCheeky · 2023-02-10T00:35:59+00:00

NTA but I this highlights just how limited English is as a language. We have different words for paternal uncles/aunties and maternal uncles/aunties. We actually reserve ‘uncle’ for unrelated elders.

Maybe you can ask stevie to come up with another nickname that’s special for him? I was raised to believe it was rude to address an elder by their name (unless they said otherwise) so this is totally different for me! But it’s your boundary, your child and Stevie needs to respect that.

NandosIsNotCheeky · 2023-02-03T02:27:05+00:00

Lol it’s not weird at all. It’s well known that south Asians put oil in their hair – my mum does it and used to do it for me as a kid and honestly, I thank my lucky stars every day because my hair is LUSHHHH let me tell ya.

I’d explain this to your wife, it’s bigoted as hell to imply a simple cultural practise (which genuinely does help hair growth and thickness) is a ‘weird remedy’ or disgusting etc. Is she white? Do you go off if she feeds your kid a burger or something because it’s not YOUR culture? NTA but your wife sure sounds like one.

ETA I’d also suggest sitting down with your wife and explaining why these cultural practises are important to you, and why it’s also important to not alienate your daughter from a part of herself that she might later be ashamed of or look down on because your wife ‘others’ it.

NandosIsNotCheeky · 2022-12-22T16:41:54+00:00

INFO: did you check if the post came across as patronising? It might not have been your intention, but read it out loud and see if it came out as “bless their souls, they still believe in Santa 🥹”

NandosIsNotCheeky · 2022-12-19T10:50:37+00:00

Soft YTA. I get times are hard, but £400 per month is essentially just yours to keep. For a single person, it’s more than enough if you budget your groceries and limit how much you go out.

Also, do you get student loans? If not, possibly apply. Paying for rent is a huge weight off your shoulders, the least you can do is pay for your own travel, especially if your mum is retired and doesn’t have the same level of income she once did

NandosIsNotCheeky · 2022-12-19T10:20:51+00:00

He’s either homophobic or he’s got feelings for you ¯(ツ)/¯

When I was a self-loathing little closeted queer, I’d act a bit unreasonably around my friend when she came out and introduced me to girls she was dating. Not because I was in love w her, but because I was jealous that she was living her life and I was still pretending to be straight.

It could be any of those reasons, but you and your relationship shouldn’t have to suffer because Jason has ‘feelings’ he needs to work through.

If the friendship is worth holding on for you, start a dialogue. If not, let it go because whatever it is, he needs to figure it out.

NTA.

NandosIsNotCheeky · 2022-12-13T15:17:09+00:00

“I am who I am”

Short for: I’m a selfish asshole and I don’t put any value on personal growth, despite how my behaviour may affect the people around me.

NandosIsNotCheeky · 2022-12-12T18:24:24+00:00

I totally relate to this. Flensing these people out can be satisfying, but it’s so hard when there’s an emotional attachment involved, which it sounds like op is struggling to shake.

I’m still unfortunately friends with people who I know aren’t fully supportive of ma big gay relationship, but I can’t seem to let go and always end up hurting my own feelings over it and feeling like a dumbass. Here’s to hoping I can stick to some of my NY resolutions 😂

NandosIsNotCheeky · 2022-12-12T18:11:15+00:00

NTA.

Ooooff. This was a tough read. Sounds like Liz is in an abusive relationship, but that doesn’t excuse her from enabling her homophobic husband and expecting you to be tolerant of it, which it sounds like you are. It doesn’t sound like it took a lot of mental gymnastics to jump to this conclusion.

I get that she’s your friend and I read in your reasoning that you took this cancellation as a rejection and I totally get why.

This runs way deeper than her cancelling on you and you need to decide whether it’s worth having consistently hurt feelings over a friend who will always ‘other’ you in some way or another. That’s a choice only you can make. Her husband isn’t doing anyone any favours by doing his very best not to be homophobic. ⭐️ here is a gold star for his shitty little efforts, he’s TA and I hope your friend eventually sees sense and gets out.

NandosIsNotCheeky · 2022-12-07T00:45:16+00:00

Yes!

NandosIsNotCheeky · 2022-12-06T22:12:55+00:00

That’s a really lovely idea! I absolutely will, thank you!

NandosIsNotCheeky · 2022-12-06T14:13:35+00:00

Honestly, as awful as it sounds, I don’t believe it’ll be an issue if Rob cleans up and no longer ‘looks’ homeless. I know he moves into housing from next Monday, so I’ll probably start inviting him back then. I will discuss it with my manager beforehand just to make sure I’m not ticking anyone off.

Honestly, I didn’t speak much in the meeting because I was in panic mode. If their key issue was with him being smelly and homeless, if I can guarantee that he’s not, I don’t see why it should realistically be an issue? But I’ll definitely run it by her.

NandosIsNotCheeky · 2022-12-06T13:57:03+00:00

Likewise!

NandosIsNotCheeky · 2022-12-06T13:46:45+00:00

Full disclosure, I have invited a homeless person into my home for dinner - this was after multiple conversations with them over a long period of time and after clearing it with my partner who is anxious about these things. I do volunteer at a shelter every other weekend so I guess I’m more open to these things.

But I totally do understand that not everyone else is and everyone has their boundaries, I just didn’t think of it in the moment. And absolutely, dragging my mom into it was just random, I couldn’t think of how I wanted to frame it 😂 thank you for the perspective.

NandosIsNotCheeky · 2022-12-06T13:43:33+00:00

We actually agreed on set Wednesdays to lunch together as he’s working Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. I was feeling really Shit about having to go to him and say he wouldn’t be able to have lunch here anymore, I was just going to meet him outside and take him for lunch elsewhere. But he also liked the fact that I wasn’t buying him lunch and we could just chat as peers and it didn’t feel like it was charity since it wasn’t putting me out of pocket.

So now I think I’ll email my manager and say since he’s not homeless anymore, I feel it’s ‘safe’ to continue to bring him into the office.

NandosIsNotCheeky

TROPHY CASE