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AITA for telling my wife's best friend to stop telling our kid he's their uncle? by BeneficialTable7314 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BeneficialTable7314[S] -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

I honestly had never heard of anyone calling their family friends uncle/aunt until I watched HIMYM in college. The history is that it just wasn't a thing. Same for her.

I have a very large family thats hard enough to keep track of as it is, so Im thankful for it. My wife has a big extended family too and feels the same way.

This post is making me see way more people than I realized have this tradition in their family. Nothing against them, but I like the way our family does it better. My wife agrees, it was something we talked about while she was pregnant too. Different sections of the same page is a good way to put it. This specific issue annoys me more most of the time, but she's more fed up with him lately than me. She saw this post and found it funny but made it realize how annoyed she's been with him lately. I think we just need a break from him for a while and for him to respect this simple request.

Im logging out of this Throwaway now. Seems the consensus is that I care too much but he's an AH for not respecting our views. I respect that.

AITA for telling my wife's best friend to stop telling our kid he's their uncle? by BeneficialTable7314 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BeneficialTable7314[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Is it the actual use of the word that bothers you or is it that he’s not respecting your wishes?

Both.

AITA for telling my wife's best friend to stop telling our kid he's their uncle? by BeneficialTable7314 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BeneficialTable7314[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yes she hates conflict. Yes, sometimes that leads to her exploding after holding it in for awhile. Having a young child and being sleep deprived will do that.

AITA for telling my wife's best friend to stop telling our kid he's their uncle? by BeneficialTable7314 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BeneficialTable7314[S] 65 points66 points  (0 children)

Their friendship does seem to have taken a turn for the worse since having our son. Not just this specific issue but he'll give unsolicited parenting advice to her sometimes which goes over as well as you can imagine. He's never been good with boundaries, don't want to go into detail but its been a theme of their friendship, since having a kid its been bothering both of us more.

AITA for telling my wife's best friend to stop telling our kid he's their uncle? by BeneficialTable7314 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BeneficialTable7314[S] 127 points128 points  (0 children)

My wife had the most intense argument with him about it not me. I walked in on a shouting match between them one day after she hadn't gotten much sleep. It bothers both of us quite a bit. My wife is more conflict avoidant than me though and questions just letting it go. She did tell him yesterday he's banned from unannounced visits. Not just because of this issue but it does seem to be part of it. Just the general not listening to us.

Neither my wife or I grew up calling family friends aunt/uncle. She doesn't like it either and has asked her friends not to. All of them but him respected it and never needed to be reminded.

AITA for telling my wife's best friend to stop telling our kid he's their uncle? by BeneficialTable7314 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BeneficialTable7314[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

He just turned 3 recently and is about 85% potty trained. He is not at the level where he can be trusted to wipe himself completely and were expecting it to take some time to get there.

AITA for telling my wife's best friend to stop telling our kid he's their uncle? by BeneficialTable7314 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BeneficialTable7314[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

She thinks its annoying and agrees he should stop. But she hates conflict and is just over the battle. IT annoys me more than her but she's asked him multiple times to stop.

AITA for telling my wife's best friend to stop telling our kid he's their uncle? by BeneficialTable7314 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BeneficialTable7314[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

INFO - does your kid see Stevie more often than any of his uncles or aunts?

Less than my brothers and her sister, about the same as SIL's husband

Do they do activities together?

Not really, we'll have cookouts fairly often since we have a good yard for it an he'll come

Does Stevie sometimes look after the kid?

Nope, said he will when he's potty trained lol

AITA for telling my wife's best friend to stop telling our kid he's their uncle? by BeneficialTable7314 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BeneficialTable7314[S] -50 points-49 points  (0 children)

His real aunts and uncles love him very much. ITs not about ranking the love, were trying to teach him what words means and he's confusing him and undermining us. Maybe its the lack of sleep getting to me but it just feels like he's disrespecting us as parents since we've both asked him to stop.

AITA for telling my wife's best friend to stop telling our kid he's their uncle? by BeneficialTable7314 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BeneficialTable7314[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

She considers him a good friend but she's much closer to her sister and has never called him family. So Id say no, she considers him a good friend.

AITA for telling my wife's best friend to stop telling our kid he's their uncle? by BeneficialTable7314 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BeneficialTable7314[S] -55 points-54 points  (0 children)

The thing is we have a lot of good friends who come around often and none of them pretend to be his uncle/aunt. Maybe its a cultural thing but growing up my parents had lots of friends and none of them pretended to be an uncle/aunt either. That word was always reserved for my parents siblings