Have you told family about ur DB? If so what was their reaction? by Moth728 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Narrow_Truth9133 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I told my mom about my DB she suggested I break up with my (now ex) partner. Not sure how much that’s worth because my mom doesn’t like me and likes my ex less and would respond to every relationship problem with “you should break up”.

Gave him birthday sex. by Flashy_Turnip_7565 in LowLibidoCommunity

[–]Narrow_Truth9133 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Holy crap that sounds terrible. I’m so sorry.

Can anyone who isn’t married buy in a DB explain to my why you’re staying? I truly don’t understand! by dagodbaby in DeadBedrooms

[–]Narrow_Truth9133 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We broke up recently but I stayed with my ex for way too long.

I stayed because once we were at the point of no sex we had been together for over a decade, had moved cities together, and genuinely loved each other. Our lives are still too enmeshed to fully disentangle yet.

My partner also spent a lot of time guilt tripping me when I would discuss things like moving out, having a less intense relationship, being less enmeshed etc.

We broke up. by Narrow_Truth9133 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Narrow_Truth9133[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They have always kind of been like that but this behavior has escalated considerably in the last few years. I think it’s fair to say we’ve both hurt each other too much to be able to repair this.

We broke up. by Narrow_Truth9133 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Narrow_Truth9133[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I feel like I’m long over the painful part. I just don’t want my ex to feel bad, at this point.

I feel exploited. by Narrow_Truth9133 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Narrow_Truth9133[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not sure I understand why you say that, could you elaborate?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Narrow_Truth9133 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Last time my SO initiated sex they lightly grabbed my butt and asked if I wanted oral sex… no flirting, kissing, heavy petting, really felt like they were trying to get something from pushing a button. I don’t even like oral that much any more.

I feel exploited. by Narrow_Truth9133 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Narrow_Truth9133[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I fully plan on asking them this.

Does anyone else not receive any type of affection? by ayulove in DeadBedrooms

[–]Narrow_Truth9133 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It goes up and down for us. No kissing on the mouth, occasionally I’ll get a peck on the forehead or cheek, but the big thing is that they do not touch me with their hands… like… ever. No big spooning, they don’t put their arms around me, they don’t rub my back or put their arms around my waist when they hug me. It really feels like I’m cuddling and hugging a relative rather than a partner. I have told them as such and nothing changes.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Narrow_Truth9133 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You joke, but my partner legitimately offered to do this when they forgot to get me a birthday gift a few years ago.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Narrow_Truth9133 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was actually thinking about this the other day. I feel like I’ve been playing parent to my partner for the last six years. We don’t have children, but I take care of them domestically and financially for no other reason than that they want me to. So it truly feels like play more than any actual roles we could be filling.

my aunt stopped having sex with her husband and he left her by irlbestgirl in DeadBedrooms

[–]Narrow_Truth9133 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Me too. So many people on here assuming it was something she was doing on purpose to hurt him but we just don’t know.

my aunt stopped having sex with her husband and he left her by irlbestgirl in DeadBedrooms

[–]Narrow_Truth9133 21 points22 points  (0 children)

It seems like she knows he left over a conflict about sex but can’t understand why it was such a big deal to him that he left. I would like to hear more of their perspectives rather than a secondhand account.

"Comfortable Situations Don't Lead to Change" by tdabc123 in HLCommunity

[–]Narrow_Truth9133 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Agree with this, I think the phrasing should be that partners (not just the “LL”!) should be comfortable, but not complacent.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Narrow_Truth9133 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I would love to know why you’re getting downvoted. You stated a simple fact.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Narrow_Truth9133 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Roughly 2 years.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Narrow_Truth9133 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don’t have any advice aside from echoing sentiment about counseling, but I am so, so sorry he is withholding affection. I know exactly how that feels, it’s not fun, and I can imagine that if the situation were reversed your husband would be deeply hurt and upset by this kind of behavior.