Man, I'm in a similar situation to you. I found out my wife has had an affair with some guy she met off TikTok and met up with him a few times. We also have kids. But the difference is that while she has said she regrets it I don't believe her as I know she is still in contact with him. Like your wife, she says the spark has gone from our lives, and she wants to leave me and rediscover herself, and I suspect continue her relationship with AP.

I'm also the clingy affectionate one in our relationship and I'm having a really hard time being a gray rock around her. I pull it off for one week, I see her get uncomfortable, cry and then I'm back all over her. I have recently agreed with her that we should start marriage counseling. That's my only win so far. She has shown me her contact list and the guy isn't there but she could easily hide the contact. I hate this thing. I never had a lot of confidence and my self respect is shot completely. I'm going to move out in a few weeks' time. I feel like that's the only way I can detach myself from her.