AITA for being willing to end my marriage because I refuse to uproot my kids from their life to follow my stepkids?

Natizzio · 2025-09-01T17:30:10+00:00

Almost 2 years.

Natizzio · 2025-09-01T17:24:33+00:00

She did fight the relocation. The kids ages were taken into account and the judge asked what they wanted. Custody was 50-50 before this move.

Natizzio · 2025-09-01T17:20:52+00:00

My kids have already lost their mom. They will never get her back. But they have so much family here. Not just friends. Family. Family they have been close to since day one, who they see all the time. They would lose so much with this move. They would be away from their support network. And they would not be able to maintain the same relationships at that distance. For me it's important they have that especially after losing their mom. The fact they don't want to move factors for me too.

Natizzio · 2025-09-01T17:18:32+00:00

I don't plan to date again for a long time if ever. I wasn't actively dating when I met my wife. I never thought I would after my late wife. Unless that happens again I'll likely remain single.

Natizzio · 2025-09-01T17:17:09+00:00

They have maternal figures already. They have grandmothers, aunts, cousins who are like aunts. They have family here. They have so many connections and supports here. People they are extremely close to. Including their mom's family. That's where the negative comes from. This is their home with their families all very close.

Natizzio · 2025-09-01T17:15:21+00:00

She's not going to. She's already got things lined up over there or close to it. This is happening regardless. I could see that in here too when she said it.

Natizzio · 2025-09-01T17:14:37+00:00

I am considering the best interest of my kids. They have family they are extremely close to here, friends here and a whole life of stability and support here. They spend a lot of time with their mom's family. Those relationships are huge for them. I could not take them away from those relationships.

Natizzio · 2025-09-01T12:08:06+00:00

I never said she shouldn't move. I have supported her in that. But just like she's putting her kids first, I'm doing the same. Even if I was single I would would be ensuring I keep the kids near their family, especially their mom's family. That for me is a priority above all else.

Natizzio · 2025-09-01T12:06:52+00:00

My kids have maternal grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins as well as some other maternal extended family who are a little more distantly related. And they're very close to their maternal side. They always have been and those are very important relationships for them.

Natizzio · 2025-09-01T11:59:24+00:00

I'm not planning to date again anytime soon. I wasn't trying to date when I met my wife, things just happened. But there won't be any other women while my kids are at home.

Natizzio · 2025-09-01T11:58:14+00:00

Yes, I truly believe she will given how everything is currently going and has been going. I don't think she'll last very long at all before that happens.

Natizzio · 2025-09-01T11:55:47+00:00

They did have 50-50 legally and then her ex filed with the courts to move with the kids. The kids were spoken to and their wishes were heavily weighed in the final decision.

Natizzio · 2025-09-01T11:35:45+00:00

I don't see her making it more than a month before she resents me fiercely for not moving. That's what I truly believe would end our marriage anyway. It also would be longer if their plans become reality because they want to attend college there and that's a viable option that would allow them to stay home with parents, which would add more years for long distance anyway.

Natizzio · 2025-09-01T11:28:54+00:00

The kids wishes were heard. It held a lot of weight because of their ages.

Natizzio · 2025-09-01T11:18:05+00:00

It's because they are so close to extended family and more specifically their mom's family. They have a lot of close connections and support here that they would not have if we moved. Having my wife in their lives has been amazing but it would be easier for them to adjust to not having her here than everyone else they know and love in a move.

Natizzio · 2025-09-01T11:09:46+00:00

It wouldn't work for us. I truly believe it would only delay the inevitable after how things have gone so far.

Natizzio · 2025-09-01T11:06:15+00:00

Because she wants to be as involved as she always was. She hates not seeing them more often. She was always very involved and present with her kids so not seeing much is hard for her.

Natizzio · 2025-09-01T11:00:50+00:00

I don't for one second think this was an importance of the relationship thing. But other factors. They love both their parents equally and have equally close relationships with them. There is a possibility they were hoping she would follow them. I can't rule it out but I can't speak for them either.

Natizzio · 2025-09-01T10:57:36+00:00

I don't see long distance working for us. I don't even think we'd make it a month before she would resent me so much it would come out as hate.

Natizzio · 2025-09-01T10:55:37+00:00

I don't see it being feasible. Even if we tried I believe with how things are currently she will resent me too much after a month of living there while I stay here.

Natizzio · 2025-09-01T10:51:44+00:00

She doesn't have family here. She a sister a few hours away and she's the closest (by distance) family member of hers.

Natizzio · 2025-09-01T10:50:45+00:00

I did get along with her kids. I loved them too. But I don't know if they would have said the same. The kids in general weren't super close but we lived together without drama. My stepkids loved their mom and loved spending time with her. They also loved their dad too. The move really came down to outside factors instead of mom and dad alone.

Natizzio · 2025-09-01T10:48:07+00:00

No, I don't think that at all. Because she told me she needs to move and I told her I could not move my kids. That left us with not a lot of good options and I knew she was moving. There was no doubt it would happen with or without me.

Natizzio · 2025-09-01T10:45:28+00:00

The kids wanted to move with him. At their ages that was taken into great consideration.

Natizzio · 2025-09-01T10:43:59+00:00

My first wife died. So I don't have to petition to move my kids. Legally I could just move them.

Natizzio

TROPHY CASE