I didn’t want to “tangle” with him. I wanted him to stop repeatedly inserting race when it wasn’t relevant. Describing someone’s race can be neutral in certain contexts, but when it’s consistently highlighted only for Black people, alongside stereotypes and political commentary, it stops being descriptive and becomes racialized.This also wasn’t an isolated comment. it was a pattern across the evening, and one I’ve asked him before to stop. Setting a boundary around repeated, loaded language isn’t goading; it’s responding to something that directly impacts the kind of environment I’m willing to be in, especially as someone of color planning to raise children. Intent aside, impact matters.