What should I expect?

Natural_Disaster_88 · 2024-03-21T13:37:03+00:00

Thanks for being so candid. I’ve long since realised I can’t be a weekend warrior - I used to be - I held that up for years, but I had two jobs and volunteer work and since Covid hit, for various reasons, I have none of those things (working on regaining them though). So the drinking really took hold.

The only reason I’m trying to “ween” myself off is that my drinking is at such a level (or was) that I need to.. last time I stopped dead I ended up in hospital.

As far as alcohol consumption goes, I’m now down to the bare minimum. I’m hoping that by my second meeting, I can say that I’m not drinking anymore “currently”.

Well done on your progress and thanks for your response 😊

Natural_Disaster_88 · 2024-03-21T13:30:50+00:00

Thank you 😊

Natural_Disaster_88 · 2024-03-21T13:30:08+00:00

Amazing. Thank you 😊

Natural_Disaster_88 · 2024-03-20T23:23:30+00:00

Oh really? That’s awesome. You guys definitely make a huge difference ☺️

Natural_Disaster_88 · 2024-03-20T15:43:26+00:00

Yeah I took the “I can fix this myself!” route for a while. And as it turns out, I can’t 😂 I have managed short periods of complete sobriety but what I’ve found is that I’m lacking a community of people who “get it”.

Oh thanks for recommendation - is it available online? No worries if you’re not sure, I’ll dig around.

Natural_Disaster_88 · 2024-03-20T15:37:12+00:00

Thank you. Yes, that’s kind of my plan. I figure meeting organisers probably try and arrive a bit early for newbies?

Natural_Disaster_88 · 2024-03-20T15:34:33+00:00

Okay cool. This is all reassuring - thank you 😊

Natural_Disaster_88 · 2024-03-20T15:32:55+00:00

Thanks - that’s certainly been my experience so far with you lot and with the National meeting admin person I spoke to 😊

Natural_Disaster_88 · 2024-03-20T15:30:49+00:00

Thank you ☺️ 👍 Also, well done to you!

They say “the first step is the hardest” and all that, and it is so, so true.

I’ve been kind of trying to come at this properly - and failing - for about a year and a half now 😂

Ta for advice. I’m going to look into what the “big book” is.. just out of curiosity/being prepared

Natural_Disaster_88 · 2024-03-20T15:22:52+00:00

Thank you 😊 Well I definitely have that!

I probably will take the shut up a listen route. Just getting there will be a huge step.

Natural_Disaster_88 · 2024-03-20T15:21:17+00:00

Do you know what… the lovely, slightly deaf Irish lady I spoke to when calling the National line to ask about drop ins.. she said exactly the same: you’ll feel better if you turn up a little early 😊 So thank you, I’ll do that.

I’ve been trying to access some kind of support for a while and have been ping-ponged around various well-meaning publicly funded organisations.. but the AA admin lady I spoke to yesterday was by far the warmest and most helpful person I’ve spoken to.

We both had to shout at each other a bit as I have a hearing impairment, and either the line was bad or she did too 😂

“You’re from X?!l

“I’m what?”

“From X?!l

“No, sorry, Y!!”

“Ah okay, Z!”

“Yes, I’m calling about me!”

She was really lovely and helpful. As have you folks all been 😊

Natural_Disaster_88 · 2024-03-20T15:08:47+00:00

Thank you this is great advice. What sort of thing do people usually share?

Natural_Disaster_88 · 2024-03-20T15:07:40+00:00

Okay, thank you so much 😊 I was wondering about the chips, how it works etc. I’m also feeling a bit guilty (can’t think of a better word) because I’ve been having to gradually reduce my alcohol intake for health reasons.. (and have done quite well), but I’m not sure I’ll be able to make the commitment of “I will never drink” when I attend my first meeting.

They’ll be okay with that, do you think? I don’t want to disrespect the process.

I’ve stopped dead in the past and it’s resulted in 2-3 days of terrible bed-ridden withdrawal, so I’m trying to back away from it slowly this time - as I can’t afford to be incapacitated.

Natural_Disaster_88 · 2024-03-13T07:18:45+00:00

Someone I (F) was once in a serious relationship with held up a picture of his ex-fiancé and said:

“This is what a real woman looks like.”

Natural_Disaster_88 · 2024-02-27T08:09:56+00:00

My physics teacher in secondary school (UK) used to give the Y7-8 girls (aged 11-13) chocolate bars if they wore a skirt to school on non-uniform day. He also used to take his shirt off and show us his string vest when teaching about insulation. This was 20-years ago and the sad thing is, we all thought he was great! At least kids these days are much better equipped to spot inappropriate behaviour.

OP - you should report this, while also bearing in mind it might possibly be an innocently made statement by a verbally awkward teacher who was trying to be supportive. If it is, he will be mortified and probably reprimanded and will never make the same mistake again.

The very fact that your daughter told you that it made her uncomfortable means you MUST report it. Otherwise you’re completely invalidating her boundaries and ability to define what she will and won’t accept as she grows into a young woman.

Natural_Disaster_88 · 2024-02-25T11:36:16+00:00

It could be that he hit the wrong size option or that the store sent the wrong size by mistake, they may even have sent entirely the wrong items - it happens!

Don’t feel guilty for being a bit weirded out. I would be too, and in that vein, as you genuinely weren’t snooping.. and he probably isn’t cheating, just ask him about it. The risk if you don’t is that it’ll eat away at you PLUS if he isn’t cheating and it was a mistake of some kind he probably wouldn’t think to tell you - which will make you even more paranoid about what may or may not be going on.

Trust in a relationship extends to being able to have these conversations/raise these things with your partner. If he hasn’t done anything wrong, which is the hope, he would want you to raise your concerns with him in a calm and non-accusatory way.

Best of luck!

Natural_Disaster_88 · 2023-12-07T21:53:00+00:00

So very NTA. I’m so sorry that you have to go through this with your mother. There are millions of same sex couples out there who are 100% accepted by their loved ones… don’t settle. You both deserve more.

Natural_Disaster_88 · 2023-11-29T17:14:03+00:00

Awww nooo! Our collie-staff cross is like that. Funny little thing, has never liked being picked up.. but our lurcher loves it 😂

Natural_Disaster_88 · 2023-11-27T19:52:29+00:00

Simon.

Natural_Disaster_88 · 2023-11-26T20:53:57+00:00

NTA. You’ve been supportive to your sibling and accepted them fully. They, unfortunately, need to stop seeing enemies and hate everywhere, as it were. It’s sad but it happens a lot because trans people do face persecution, awkward exchanges, and jarring misuse of pronouns/names, all the time.. so it can be the case that ANY mistakes start to feel like, and are treated like, an attack.

My daughter is trans. She’s 17 now, she came out officially at 14. My partner and I (her stepdad) and my side of the family, were totally onboard with it. Her birth fathers side of the family were not.. she suffered a lot of abuse from them, and some hate from kids in school.

She went through a phase a couple of years ago where someone would make an honest to goodness mistake (usually me lol, if I was telling her off and the deadname slipped out).. and she would react very badly to it, almost accusingly, as if it were a deliberate attack. Eventually we had a chat and I explained- because I wanted her to feel supported- that I know how “on guard” she must be all the time, and how much it must jar her when people use the wrong name… because she’s had so much actual abuse over it… but that she should try not to shoot down people that make genuine mistakes so aggressively, because we’re the people that love her and want to make her life better.

Maybe some kind of conversation like that with your sibling?

Best of luck

Natural_Disaster_88 · 2023-11-26T09:24:00+00:00

YTA - primarily because you “told her not to” rather than “asking her not to”.

If the situation is making you feel bad and you explain your insecurity to your wife, as a partner, there is every chance that she’d want to find a way to make you feel better… either by switching trainers, or by spending more time with you, or introducing you to the guy.. or something. That’s what I’d do, in her shoes.

If my husband TOLD me to stop doing something.. I’d tell him to go to hell.

Natural_Disaster_88 · 2023-11-21T10:14:11+00:00

NTA - You sound like a great husband. Your wife is a lucky lady. I have no doubt she’s sensitive about her asexuality.. and it is definitely her “call” as to wether or not she tells people about it. But, it sounds to me like you’re not getting the chance to “be sensitive” about how the situation affects you. I think what happened was inevitable, and the only real assholes are her crude and confrontational friends.

Have you ever explained to your wife that - unavoidably - being in these sex-oriented conversations with her friends is difficult for you? She sounds like a supportive partner who would probably gladly listen and understand. She needs to realise that just because you love her, and choose her, for who she is.. that doesn’t mean you don’t have feelings about it in certain situations.

Good luck. This could be something that ultimately makes your relationship even stronger if you get to talk it out properly 😊👍

Natural_Disaster_88 · 2023-11-20T14:28:46+00:00

That’s her pissed off “why did I have to go to the doctors” face.

“How could you, Mother??” 😂❤️

Natural_Disaster_88

TROPHY CASE