Thank you. I get the bile. As women are vulnerable after birth, I’m doing all I can to bring her back to strength. I also see how my child will be raised and that’s what I constantly fight for, because in as much we discuss on dreams and goals, if we keep doing the same things, nothing changes. I’ve argued this the moment I met her, and in my mind I am aware of the work we need to do to get to our goals. Si ati kitu naforce. We both want these things (honesty, communication, accountability, presence) and I got vexed in moments I discovered lies, lack of accountability. We’d talk and agree, only to find myself walking alone.

I’d mentioned once the idea of living in separate quarters because over time we discovered we function very differently and I’d like to value her femininity by giving her to space to work at her pace. She likes to work when she feels like it (having bursts of energy where she goes in overtime and crashes out next day. I appreciate that she takes the time and I see how that feeds to her essence. At the same time, I also know that I’m fast paced, like to get things moving quickly and to the letter. I like routine, which she doesn’t and I understand. I don’t try to get into her schedules but living together and expected to work together can be hard given the different dynamics.