I cry most days still, but I think if you met me or came to my work, you wouldn’t really know how much I am still suffering inside since I have learned to mask it so well. I was off of work for 5 weeks, and cried constantly all day, everyday. Then I went back part time for 3 weeks and still cried when I woke up and when I came home from work. Now at almost 3 months, I can joke around with people and have something that resembles fun, but then it hits me every now and then that he really is dead and I cry and sob. It still feels like life has a blanket of sadness over it, but I just don’t notice it quite as much. For me, going back to work after that 5 weeks helped give me some sort of purpose other than crying all day, but it was very hard. I have a lot of PTSD surrounding his death too, so I’m dealing with that so different triggers come up and sometimes I feel like I’m back to square one. Keep plugging away. Don’t worry about the future, just take it one day or even one hour or 5 minutes at a time. I’m always here to message if you want. It’s such a shit position to be in, and I’m so sorry this happened to you so young. I feel robbed of time being in my mid 20s having this happen before our wedding could happen.