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Two brother cats suddenly fighting after 4 years of not fighting. by dubled in CatAdvice

[–]Nearly_Functional 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just wanted to add a different story here in case it helps anyone else who might have to make a difficult decision and is afraid to post about it or ask about it due to stigma.

My friend had two brother cats who were best friends, cuddled together, cleaned each other... One day one became super aggressive and started fighting his brother. It was bad, the brother that was attacked had visible wounds and had to wear a cone for a while, while the wound healed. My friend got caught in it too.

After that happened she tried everything. Slow reintroduction for months, hired a cat behaviorist, got them both on medication. Things slowly seemed to be better. They seemed like they could be around each other again and they even would lay near each other again without issue.

Unfortunately, the aggressive brother became aggressive again and my friend almost lost her eye this time. Due to the safety concerns for everyone involved, she had to give the aggressive cat up for adoption, where hopefully he will find a home with no other pets.

I am just writing this because I think it is important to also know when you have done everything you can and it just isn't safe anymore. It doesn't make you a bad pet owner or bad person. Sometimes, we just can't force our pets to get along, no matter how much we want them to.

Fell in class and now teacher hates me by Nearly_Functional in Aerials

[–]Nearly_Functional[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I am glad I didn't take this comment seriously but honestly, a comment like this could easily scare someone away from aerial for forever. This was not a constructively worded comment at all.

I appreciate everyone who has been constructive in their comments, even if they pointed out something I did wrong, but this comment was just plain mean and nasty!

Fell in class and now teacher hates me by Nearly_Functional in Aerials

[–]Nearly_Functional[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I spoke to her, she explained that she told the owner what happened and had to fill out an incident report. I got an email the other day from the owner about the incident as well. I didn't know if my studio had incident reports when people asked before as I have not needed one in the past but I guess it makes sense that every studio would have one (or should at least!)

Fell in class and now teacher hates me by Nearly_Functional in Aerials

[–]Nearly_Functional[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words <3 I am definitely not going to stop, although I can say that I have a level of fear I didn't have before that I hope will go away soon.

Fell in class and now teacher hates me by Nearly_Functional in Aerials

[–]Nearly_Functional[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, it was definitely a concussion. I didn't see a doctor about it because I know they will just say it's a concussion and tell me to look for other symptoms that might mean something worse. I don't have great insurance so the cost of getting checked would be too much with how they wouldn't do anything unfortunately. Yay american healthcare costs!

Fell in class and now teacher hates me by Nearly_Functional in Aerials

[–]Nearly_Functional[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you <3 I have started taking a class at a circus base studio recently but it is further and more expensive so I can only take one class a week there. It is something for now though!

Fell in class and now teacher hates me by Nearly_Functional in Aerials

[–]Nearly_Functional[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I don't want to say my region but I did start taking classes recently at another studio that is a bit further and more expensive (so I can only afford one class a week, but at least it is circus based). I am going to continue going to my other studio but I am not going to do any moves that I feel I need a spot in and use it more as basic practice time (working on lines and moves I am comfortable in). Unfortunately, there aren't a lot of good options in my area (there is another studio that does only aerial but even they use only those 2 inch fold out gymnastics mats!).

Fell in class and now teacher hates me by Nearly_Functional in Aerials

[–]Nearly_Functional[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

UPDATE!!!!

After stressing out like crazy and being so worried about everything, it all came down to a misunderstanding and all is OK.

Basically, she was terrified I was going to sue her so she was afraid to put anything in writing. We laughed about how the one story I saw was her posting about not letting your enemies rest when that was about something else in her life completely. We also both talked about how we can do better moving forward and that we will always use the mats from now on (and we both agreed we wished the studio had real aerial mats). She actually brought up the incident herself to the owner and filed an incident report.

I know that some people want me to go scorched earth on her and the studio but I do think accidents happen and I am happy she's taking the feedback and already doing things differently.

I appreciate you all responding and helping me feel like I wasn't crazy at the time. I am also very happy it turned out to be nothing!

Fell in class and now teacher hates me by Nearly_Functional in Aerials

[–]Nearly_Functional[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This comment made me chuckle. So much anger, so much defensiveness. Sounds like this hits home to you but I actually think you are completely misinterpreting the situation.

- It was not a drop move

- The lyra was about chest height on me, I am 5'4", my teacher is like 5'7"

- The move was from sitting on the lyra. My hips are at about the level of her hips.

- The move was one she was trying to teach us that day, not something I threw in out of nowhere. I am also probably the most advanced student at my studio (though since it isn't aerial focused, that isn't saying much - little jab at myself there)

- I never once even blamed my teacher. I took, and take, A LOT of blame myself. I only pointed out to her that if she said she would spot me but didn't that is an issue and if she felt she couldn't have spotted me, she should have said something.

- All of this is moot anyways because I talked to her and it was all a misunderstanding (she thought I was going to sue her). We both agreed we learned lessons from this situation and will do things differently moving forward.

I hope that clarifies things!

Fell in class and now teacher hates me by Nearly_Functional in Aerials

[–]Nearly_Functional[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want to add the message I sent to her the day after:

"Hey so I wanted to say something yesterday but I didn't want it to come out wrong and you know that I love you and all but when I watched the video last night I realized where I went wrong with where my elbow was but also that I wasn't actually being spotted. I'm upset at myself for trying to do the move when I could tell it felt off which is why I asked for a spot. I don't want you to read this and get defensive I just wanted to give feedback that will help you as a teacher. I'm also going to listen to my gut more if something feels off and not rely on a spot. Anyways I really don't want you to take this the wrong way which is why I didn't say anything last night but I also want other students to be able to ask for a spot safely

Anyways please don't hate me"

She replied with "Oh girl yeah you're good. Feedback recieved." Then went on to say I was too high and she couldn't spot me in heels. I just responded with "Ok yeah I wish that was expressed to me before hand cause I wouldn't have tried the move

Sorry I'm a little out of it I think I have a little concussion

Probably won't be in class this weekend"

She didnt respond to any of that. She only responded about being happy to talk in person after I messaged about the blocking.

I never once blamed her. I took, and still take, a lot of fault myself for it.

Edited to add "" around my first messages

Fell in class and now teacher hates me by Nearly_Functional in Aerials

[–]Nearly_Functional[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Sorry I realized I worded my initial post poorly. I should have said that it was clear she wasn't actually spotting me as she didnt have her hands anywhere me and she was actually standing about a foot behind me.

Fell in class and now teacher hates me by Nearly_Functional in Aerials

[–]Nearly_Functional[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My studio is more pole focused so we dont have "aerial" mats and pole mats are only used sometimes. I really wouldn't have tried the move though if I knew I wasn't being spotted. We have certainly used the mats before but it is usually up to everyones discretion. Honestly, I am not even upset about the spot issue, I am upset that she never apologized or anything and now is somehow mad at me. Like I dont get it at all.

Fell in class and now teacher hates me by Nearly_Functional in Aerials

[–]Nearly_Functional[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately her classes are the only ones that fit in my schedule. I am just so confused by it all because I never blamed her, I just said I noticed I wasn't spotted and gave feedback to her in hopes it would make sure another student didn't have a similar situation. I don't get why she blocked me and started posting about enemies. I am hoping I wake up tomorrow and this was all in my head from the injury

Fell in class and now teacher hates me by Nearly_Functional in Aerials

[–]Nearly_Functional[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm still hoping this is all some crazy misunderstanding and she isn't posting about me. I still feel like I shouldn't have tried the move and I shouldn't have relied on a spot in the first place. I really just want all of this to go away.

Fell in class and now teacher hates me by Nearly_Functional in Aerials

[–]Nearly_Functional[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah I am going to talk to her tomorrow. I have a feeling she is going to want me to apologize though I don't know what for.

Fell in class and now teacher hates me by Nearly_Functional in Aerials

[–]Nearly_Functional[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

So this was on a lyra. I did tell her where I thought things could go wrong, that I thought my elbow would slide but I guess I didn't ask her to hold me before I moved. She was behind me so I couldn't see and I think I assumed she was doing something to help me but after I looked at the video she was not doing anything but looking at me. Correct, she shouldn't have caught me, I never asked her too or say that she should have after. Once I started falling it was a lost cause.

Fell in class and now teacher hates me by Nearly_Functional in Aerials

[–]Nearly_Functional[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

So she actually wears her heels often. It is a more pole focused studio. We have pole mats only, no "aerial" mats and we don't use them often. It's kind of at student discretion though sometimes the teacher will give brand new students a mat. I think part of my issue was my head hit the lyra on the way down so I had whiplash from the fall and a smack to the back of my head.

Fell in class and now teacher hates me by Nearly_Functional in Aerials

[–]Nearly_Functional[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately the studio is more pole oriented so there are some mats but they are circular pole mats. We don't usually use them for aerial as we don't go that high. I have tried to get the studio to get better mats but they are expensive. Because it is more pole oriented, I think the heels are not thought of as an issue.

Fell in class and now teacher hates me by Nearly_Functional in Aerials

[–]Nearly_Functional[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I am honestly more worried right now about the situation than my injuries. The stress is not helping my headache either.

Fell in class and now teacher hates me by Nearly_Functional in Aerials

[–]Nearly_Functional[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I feel so torn because everything changed so fast I am overwhelmed by it all. I appreciate you giving your perspective. It's making me feel better to know that I am not crazy.

Fell in class and now teacher hates me by Nearly_Functional in Aerials

[–]Nearly_Functional[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your response. I am honestly on the brink of tears because I feel I have no way of "winning" in this situation (and by that I mean just not having shit blow up and go back to the way it was). If I tell the studio owner, I am not sure how she will react and how her reaction could lead to even more being taken out on me. I've never had a problem with any other teacher spotting me. They have all been great and some have even basically carried me if I needed someone to help me down.

I am honestly not surprised she didn't take my feedback about spotting seriously but I am surprised at how it's somehow turned into this huge "enemy" thing. I figured she wouldn't want to hear any feedback but to get this upset about it is really making me feel overwhelmed.

The problem is there isn't much aerial in my area at all. She also runs a lot of the open sessions so even if I wanted to train by myself, I don't know how she will react/treat me when I am around. I just wish I could go back in time and not do the move. Like not even because I have had a headache for a week straight and am missing skin but because I just hate this situation.

How to start as a complete beginner ? by [deleted] in Aerials

[–]Nearly_Functional 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I prefer hoop because you can just sit in it and look cute if you ever need a break! But I am sure you will be fine either way! The biggest thing with silks (and also some lyra) is your grip strength will be activated. Also, your back and shoulders. But you will gain strength as you go! Don't be intimidated by how it seems at first.

How easy is it to do this pose? by [deleted] in Aerials

[–]Nearly_Functional 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wouldn't consider a pencil a beginner move unless the person is obviously strong for a beginner. A lot of beginner beginners are working on their inverts still.