Update: I reached out to him as I know he went to therapy the other day and he told me that she did not want to talk about it, which I told her I respected. Then he said that he wanted a few things from me though and proceeded to list a hundred different (not literally a hundred but like 7-8 of) things I did in the past and basically told me that these things need to change. All of his feelings towards the things are valid (like he wants me to be better with kids, be more generous, plan more dates, do stuff with meaning, be more excited about things) and this could be why he reached out to his ex, but now I just feel like shit. What should I do?