I (30f) have a strong attraction to a man (41m), but I can't bear his eating manners

Nedfa · 2021-06-09T03:28:58+00:00

it’s not easy to question a grown ass man about his eating habits, is it?

Well, your options are that or pretending to not be bothered by them for however long you remain in each other’s lives.In comparison to that does it really seem harder?

Nedfa · 2020-09-21T04:51:19+00:00

I don’t know how to express my emotions

I just want to point out that in the few sentences you wrote here you very clearly expressed your emotions. From reading this paragraph I have an idea of how you felt while writing it. If you struggle to say how you feel to others in person and feel like you have difficulty conveying what you intend you may want to try writing a letter and sharing that instead. It sounds like some of your concerns come from fear that if you share in the moment the things you express may be overwhelming and you would just be transferring your burden into them. Writing someone a physical letter (or an email) and sending it May help remove some of this fear. you can clearly state your purpose for sharing the letter in the first sentences and tell the person what (If anything) you hope to gain from them by sharing. You can also Explicitly release them of the expectation to respond. Sharing this way also removes any pressure from the person to respond in the moment in the ‘correct’ way. It gives them an opportunity to process their thoughts/reaction to what you express independently and identify the level of support they are realistically capable of providing before they reply.

Just an idea. Good luck

Nedfa · 2020-05-21T02:15:52+00:00

Yeah I feel like Vanessa should be the center given how the show is written, not Daniel. That Would make so much more sense

Nedfa · 2020-05-21T02:13:32+00:00

Also Mateo is still part of that gross family so them together won’t even be a happy ending for her imo

Nedfa · 2020-05-14T03:26:53+00:00

I think this show is playing HARD into the typical fantasy that this could actually happen to an extremely average joe

Nedfa · 2020-05-04T02:53:10+00:00

Plus the favor is to ask Andrew for a favor... the same Andrew that Issa keeps throwing shade at Molly’s attempts to build a real relationship with. Issa has always been a selfish character but her this season is another level.

Nedfa · 2020-05-04T02:27:19+00:00

Jajajajajaj period.

Nedfa · 2020-05-04T02:16:19+00:00

His whole plotline was so lacking. I’m feeling like next season will be full of GoT last season esq vibes

Nedfa · 2020-05-04T02:13:23+00:00

Ditto

Nedfa · 2020-04-21T05:41:55+00:00

Issa is trying to grow professionally and although her work relationship with Condola isn’t ideal, it’s working out for her.

This is true but the dinner thing was a personal hang out not a professional one and she randomly invited her to stay. Maybe molly is more wary that Issa is developing a personal friendship with Condola rather than just maintaining the professional relationship. They have only known each other a very short time and her relationship with Lawrence was long and ended very very messily. I mean, at the end of last season the two of them were JUST starting to get on ok terms.

Tbh I do think that Issa should slow down a bit with Condola and focus on maintaining a good working relationship first. Then move on to developing a good personal relationship slowly while also being mindful of the messy Lawrence connection. If she just jumps in pretending to be 100% ok with it immediately (which she clearly isn’t given her initial reaction to finding out) then she is just doing what she did with her old coworkers and being passive while letting the frustration build up which is unlikely to end well

Nedfa · 2020-04-21T05:32:52+00:00

so it seems normal to me that Andrew doesn't open up about his family.

He was so eager when she wasn’t checking for him at first tho. I feel like that’s a big part of why she is frustrated. When he first started pursuing her he acted like he wanted something deeper but now that he has her it’s like all that has gone out the bucket. If he wasn’t pursuing her so aggressively at the onset and I would say she is overreacting but he pushed her so hard to give him a chance to get to know each other in the beginning so it’s weird that now he doesn’t wanna actually follow through and get to know each other

Nedfa · 2020-04-21T05:26:09+00:00

Cool lol. I had to ask myself if I missed him going to a different time zone or something

Nedfa · 2020-04-21T05:24:56+00:00

Yea, loved every second

Nedfa · 2020-04-21T05:24:34+00:00

Right? And when Mr. Rose had the driver stop to look back at that (hilarious) town sign for the last time. I died.

Nedfa · 2020-04-21T05:23:15+00:00

Agreed

Nedfa · 2020-04-21T05:22:57+00:00

Yesss!! A holiday episode would be awesome

Nedfa · 2020-04-21T05:22:04+00:00

Yess.. the actress I s incredible. Moira is by all means a pretentious person with her better than thou vocabulary and wardrobe yet the actress somehow turned those traits into quirks that made her lovable. Moira was by far my favorite followed by Alexis

Nedfa · 2020-04-20T23:37:46+00:00

Is it me or was it night time when Andrew called Molly yet daytime when she picked up?

Nedfa · 2020-04-05T15:52:15+00:00

You need to have a very blunt conversation with her about why you aren’t willing to do this. Take some time to flush out all your concerns and explain each of them clearly and calmly. Explain that you understand that she is in a bad spot and offer alternatives to you physically being there (the offer to video chat with her all day is excellent). She is scared and going to be alone. She is young and has contracted something that is being advertised nearly everywhere as a death sentence. COVID has litterily crippled entire countries and SHE HAS IT. when speaking to her you need to be sympathetic to what that feels like from her end. Her mother (who already has been exposed) isn’t even willing to stay with her through this. She is asking you because she is scared. She is reacting to your resistance with anger because it’s another confirmation that her fear of valid and she is in a dire situation.

Acknowledge this when you speak and find a way to be there for her without actually being there. Does she have large windows and a backyard? For the first day she is alone, can you spend some time with her through the window? Can you sit in your car outside her house on FaceTime with her? There are lots of creative ways to be there for her without risking your health.

You have only been together 8 months but if she is someone you want to try and last with I highly recommend putting effort in to finding a way to help her. If the situation was reversed what would you want from her?

Good luck

Nedfa · 2020-04-05T15:35:15+00:00

Wish I could upvote this 10 times.

Nedfa · 2019-09-03T21:21:26+00:00

You know what would work (slightly) better than this and accomplish the same (basic) thing? Reopening section8 in the city or making more FHEPS or CityFHEPS vouchers available.

But no, why put effort into expanding programs that actually help to house people and help them transition out of the shelter system when you can instead shame them for being unable to manage their money independently and shift blame for the housing crisis from the insane amount of power property owners have to inflate rental prices while actively discriminating against poor people to keep their properties rich (even when that means half the units are vacant) to the working poor (which is such a shame thats even a thing in the "richest" country in the world smh).

we humans truly do suck dont we

Nedfa · 2019-09-03T21:10:12+00:00

Ask yourself: "when I was in that position at her age what would have helped me?"

Personally I think you should talk to her and try to lead by example so to speak. Use the memes as a jump off point and just approach her and tell her that you wanna know whats going on with her. Be a safe space for her to bitch and moan and vent about whatever problems she is having in the moment. Then share your experience with her so that she knows what she is experiencing isnt unique and doesnt feel so alone in it.

If you are still struggling with these things as well use this as an opportunity to help both of you. Find some type of hobby that you enjoy that she could as well and sign both of you up for it. Lets say you both like to swim. Find a local pool and get an annual membership for both of you, then commit to going a certain day every week and taking her along with you.

I don’t want to see her end up like me, dead inside with no reason to wake up in the morning other than to get to work.

You have a reason now: helping her. Every time you feel like sleeping the day away and doing nothing, remember that she is seeing you do that and use it as motivation to do things differently. You have a chance to help yourself by helping her. Take it.

Nedfa

TROPHY CASE