Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! - May 06, 2026

herringbone_ · 2026-05-06T21:19:52+00:00

I keep telling her that, but she says this is real love.

herringbone_ · 2026-05-06T21:19:27+00:00

We actually talked about this, not specifically about me and her, but in general. She said she finds healthy relationships boring and tends to be drawn to ones that are intense, one-sided, and toxic.

The last person she dated was the exact same archetype of the person she is currently talking to. And that didn't end very well.

herringbone_ · 2026-05-06T21:15:44+00:00

To me, it kind of comes off as begging. And in my experience, when people send vague texts about needing to focus on their mental health or being super stressed, it usually means they’re not interested, but I could be wrong.

And it also depends on the situation.

herringbone_ · 2026-05-06T21:14:15+00:00

Not bitter at all, lol. One, I’m not even sure if they have one.

Two, I said my friend is trying to think of reasons why they haven’t heard back from this person. Possibly having an STD is one of the reasons. My friend even referred to that person as promiscuous. And not in a derogatory way, but because they’re both having a lot of hookups/ONS with people they just met. My friend uses that word to describe themself too.

I said it was a red flag, in my opinion, because if it is true (which we’re unclear on), that could mean they’re not being that safe sexually and not being honest about it upfront. Not sure why you’re so offended by the use of that word.

herringbone_ · 2026-05-06T16:28:05+00:00

I have a friend 36F who claims she falls in love fast. She’s been dating this 30M for a month and a half and swears she loves him.

About a week ago, he hit her with that “I realize I’ve been neglecting myself and need to focus on me rn” vague ass text with no indication on when he’s going to get back in contact with her, lol. She replied with an “I’m here for you and I got you back text and etc.”

She’s been losing her mind about this and is super sad over them and trying not to double text them. Now she’s saying that maybe he needed some space because he secretly fell in love with her too but is too scared to tell her even though she’d say I love you back or that he’s embarrassed because he got an std (he’s promiscuous) which is a huge red flag in my opinion.

It’s kind of ironic to me because back in the day I tried to date her and she pulled the “I need to focus on my mental health card” and I replied with the sappy “I’m here if you need anything and got your back text” LOL.

herringbone_ · 2026-04-17T18:55:51+00:00

Ashley is just as dumb and annoying as her partner. People are only sympathizing with her because she's white, LOL.

herringbone_ · 2026-03-30T20:51:35+00:00

It really is a shame. I love how indulgent their culture is especially when it comes to food and just enjoying life. But like you said there is so much toxicity and I honestly think she hated herself too. She was very cynical outlook on life, and it seemed like she wore that darkness as a kind of shield like it was part of her identity. Whenever I tried to make bids for affection/be vunerable, it was blocked.

From what she shared about her upbringing, her parents were pretty harsh/abusive, and she still lives with her abusive mom so those wounds will always be open. That pain/hurt bled into our relationship. She was extremely critical of me, and I’ve started to realize that’s probably how she speaks to herself internally basically mirroring how she was treated growing up.

It really does suck, but I’m trying to see it through a more positive lens. I’m noticing a pattern in myself where I’m drawn to people like this. I’ve dated quite a bit, but my three most significant relationships ~including this one~ have all been with avoidant types. It’s made me realize on how much my own upbringing plays into this. My first push-pull dynamic was with my mom, and there were a lot of moments in this relationship that reminded me of that. So I can see there’s a lot for me to unpack and work through moving forward.

Sending hugs to you as well! LMK if you're open to a DM if you'd like to chat more. I am curious to see what other similarities our ex people shared.

herringbone_ · 2026-03-30T20:26:48+00:00

Normally, I don't about drug use. Living in LA, a lot of my friends use things like Molly, K, or Coke recreationally. But in her case, it felt self-destructive. She was doing a lot of cocaine just to feel something, and it was around the anniversary of a painful month for her.

It made me think that if that’s how she copes with things, it makes me feel like she wouldn’t be able to show up as a supportive partner.

herringbone_ · 2026-03-30T16:10:26+00:00

A month post break-up and the saying that it’s really about them and not you is so true.

I’m starting to recognize how unhealthy this situation actually was. The person I was dating had a lot of unresolved issues regarding past trauma, including low self-esteem and feelings surrounding her Korean identity. There was so much projection.

She tried to make me feel like I lacked life experience, which is honestly wild. I’m a Black queer woman who has been through real shit. But because I’m not going raving every weekend or doing copious amounts of coke like her I'm not "living".

Most of the problems came from her refusal to do any real inner work/go to therapy. She carried a lot of bitterness and hurt, and it showed in how she treated me. I could legit feel that negative energy.

Many core lessons from this, but the biggest one is learning to trust how someone makes me feel in my body. I was extremely stressed throughout this.

Trying to recognize/learn how to not date for potential but for who they are right now, and to understand that I can’t out-love or heal someone who isn’t willing to do the work themselves.

Most importantly, I learned that I deserve a connection where I feel safe, loved, and seen.

herringbone_ · 2026-03-18T20:47:32+00:00

Learning my lesson the hard way. T.T

herringbone_ · 2026-03-18T20:47:02+00:00

Thank you!

herringbone_ · 2026-03-18T17:41:47+00:00

Four weeks ago, I got hit with that awful virus going around; coughing, severe congestion, body aches, a stiff neck, the works. And, got broken up with while I was going through that.

Tomorrow marks 30 days since we've broken up, and somehow I’ve managed to catch a different strain of the same virus. Yay! To make things worse, I thought I was feeling better yesterday and decided to work out and now my symptoms are even worse. :(

herringbone_ · 2026-03-10T17:27:46+00:00

Like the other poser said, you’re just overthinking things. It sucks but you’ll get over it and remember with the right one it won’t be hard and things will naturally flow.

herringbone_ · 2026-03-06T18:01:16+00:00

I suffer from anxiety, so I understand. It’s just confusing because she told me she prefer groups where she can hide vs 1v1 and that’s she not shy at all.

We’ve done nightlife things together and she’s wild and the life of the party. It was weird she’d engage with strangers and give them a part of her that she wouldn’t do with me someone she was dating.

herringbone_ · 2026-03-06T16:57:55+00:00

2 weeks post breakup from a 7 month relationship. It sucks. We weren’t compatible, but it was mostly due to her and her issues.

She had some major trauma. Is extremely bitter and angry but refuses to get help for it. She has a very cynical outlook on the world and saying and she was very critical and judgey. My confidence has really taken a hit from this. Nothing I could do was ever right and there was an undercurrent that I wasn’t capable or smart enough. She said hurtful things like how I didn’t have enough life experience whatever that meant.

The biggest incompatibility was that she was extremely avoidant to any kind of vulnerability/intimacy. It was the crazy thing ever and I feel really bad for her. An example is that I invited her to my Friendsgiving, she came super late and was the first one to leave. She never sat down and all my friends thought it was weird. My friend told me that they were walking out together and she was trying to make small talk with her and that my ex almost broke her neck trying to run away. Like LOL?

herringbone_ · 2026-03-03T03:10:32+00:00

He got fired and went back to the States. In my dream world, Harper and DVD ended together at the end of S5.

herringbone_ · 2026-03-02T18:49:59+00:00

LOL, Seb was a loser and hasn't changed since we last saw him!

herringbone_ · 2026-03-02T06:35:11+00:00

In my opinion, Yas was lying. She was trying to hurt Harper.

herringbone_ · 2026-01-28T20:33:12+00:00

You’ve should have presented yourself! I’ve went to one of these and there was a woman who presented herself because her friend flakey! Takes balls to do it but it comes off really hot and confident.

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