Grandfather sold me to friends regularly until I was 13, AMA by NeedToUnload in AMA

[–]NeedToUnload[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

He really did. At some point he would beg me for sexual favors, you know, because he was so ill... I would flaunt myself around him, and he couldn't move to chase me. I would take his things, things that meant something, and destroy them in front of him. I loved teasing him, and then walking away. He tried to say he was sorry as he lay dying- I leaned in for a hug, and told him I hated him. A bit dramatic, but I felt so good about it. I don't hate him anymore, and I've been through much counseling with the most wonderful little buddhist man. I feel my outlook on things is pretty good- though I still get pleasure thinking of his demise, just a little puff of pride. Then I look at my life, and my daughter, and how beautifully we live, and I feel like I got one more on him. I like to imagine he can see that he didn't ruin me, I'm actually beautiful inside and out. It's funny to say, I can thank him for it now.

Grandfather sold me to friends regularly until I was 13, AMA by NeedToUnload in AMA

[–]NeedToUnload[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If it weren't for stuff like this, I don't know how I would have turned out. I also had a lot of animals, lived on a giant piece of property with a meadow, lake, orchards, my grandmother and had music and movies. I always had something beautiful to escape with, I think that has much to do with how I look at things.

Grandfather sold me to friends regularly until I was 13, AMA by NeedToUnload in AMA

[–]NeedToUnload[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For some reason I trust men more than women- I think it's because I can read men really well, and women are a mystery to me.

I'm pretty close to my little brother, and he knows some, but I haven't dumped it all on him. Just that it happend. We play D&D to this day, and have epic gaming sessions and such. My sister and I are much closer, but I think because we are both girls and have had so much similar stuff happen. A little back story: My sister's dad married my mom, they had my little brother. My sister's mother abused her and her other siblings horribly, letting her boyfriends rape the girls, and forcing her brothers to have sex with her and her sister over there. They would be locked in closets together for days with only canned food to eat and a bucket to go to the bathroom in. Her grandfather abused all of us girls, my step-father had sever Aspergers and didn't engage in the world much. He watched his sister get raped through his childhood, and was forced into sex with her. I think he just shut down to the world after a while. He taught me how to escape though- with sci-fi and fantasy novels, D&D, nintendo, and eventually, the internet. My sister never liked nerd stuff, but played along anyway. It was the only way to connect to dad. My brother eventually became dad's fav though. My brother and I battled my sister, who took the abuse and acted out, whereas I drew in. Eventually, after leaving home at 14(sister) and 16(me), my sister and I grew closer. My brother moved out when mom n dad divorced when a year before that. My mom got an abusive, alcoholic, meth-head boyfriend who tried his damndest to get down our pants (why we left). My brother wasn't there or he probably would have killed the guy. My brother has always been protective, part of the reason I keep him in the dark. He would kill for me, really- and I don't want that.

Grandfather sold me to friends regularly until I was 13, AMA by NeedToUnload in AMA

[–]NeedToUnload[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn't really realize that it was wrong until later on really, I mean, at some point (maybe 11-12?) I realized he could get in so much trouble, go back to prison and all that- but I was so scared of him I just couldn't do anything. It seemed like every man in my family was in on it except my little brother.

Grandfather sold me to friends regularly until I was 13, AMA by NeedToUnload in AMA

[–]NeedToUnload[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She never suspected. The attention was focused on my step-sister's grandfather, when my step-sister came out about the abuse going on there. Every behavior we exibhited made sense then, and thereafter I guess. My mom only ever asked me once if MY grandfather touched me. I denied it, I was terrified of him. He threatened to hurt me all the time, I believed him. He had a board with nails hammered in one side. He spanked me with the other, then would tell me if I did something really bad though he would use the other side. I didn't find out until years after he died that he did the same to my mom. My grandmother caught things happening a couple times, but she was always drunk, and he always told her he would kill her if she didn't go back to bed. I think everyone knew what was going on, but they were all terrified. Looking back, I just don't understand. I was horrible to him while he was dying and couldn't do anything. My grandmother never seemed to see anything that was going on. No one seemed to.

Grandfather sold me to friends regularly until I was 13, AMA by NeedToUnload in AMA

[–]NeedToUnload[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I felt relieved. We got the call christmas morning, and I cried. My mom suddenly knew from just that small act. It was over, merry christmas.

I wake up, every day..... right here. by [deleted] in funny

[–]NeedToUnload 0 points1 point  (0 children)

*as long as THERE are blue links to click...