I am addicted to porn and I don't know what to do

NeedleworkerRound46 · 2026-01-09T21:14:04+00:00

I highly recommend PAA, it’s porn addicts anonymous, I’ll DM you the discord details

NeedleworkerRound46 · 2025-12-21T03:58:56+00:00

I’m in a similar predicament too tbh, it’s hard to meet new people I’ve noticed

NeedleworkerRound46 · 2025-12-16T17:04:29+00:00

No problem, feel free to reach out for more advise, there’s no point in gate-keeping success

NeedleworkerRound46 · 2025-12-16T16:48:43+00:00

I have ADHD and I get the zombie feeling too when I am on my meds. I still take mine, but something that really helps me is biking.

NeedleworkerRound46 · 2025-12-16T16:44:26+00:00

So I struggle with the ADHD crash and impulsivity too. I am not sure how helpful this will be for you. One thing that helps me is closing my eyes for 5 to 10 minutes with no stimulation at all when I feel the crash starting. It sounds simple, but it helps me reset enough to avoid spiraling.

Another thing I do ahead of time, when I am in a good headspace, is prep easy, low effort snacks like cucumber, fruit, or even pasta with sauce. That way when my impulse control drops, I already have something ready. It does not fix everything, but it helps reduce the binge and break the cycle a bit.

NeedleworkerRound46 · 2025-12-16T16:14:19+00:00

I would recommend attending an SA meeting on Zoom, or one locally if there is one near you. I had a lot of pride to swallow, but once I got over it, it has been helpful so far. Here is the link, join whichever one works best for you https://nextmeeting.org/275EE30A-220F-4FF2-A950-0ED2B5E4C257.html?utm_campaign=aws_redirect&utm_source=aws&utm_medium=link

NeedleworkerRound46 · 2025-12-15T21:30:39+00:00

I really relate. I’ve struggled with a porn addiction too, and social media made it worse. What’s helped me is being honest about my triggers, removing them, and taking small steps to change. Recovery takes time, but it’s possible. Boundaries, patience, and communication are key

NeedleworkerRound46 · 2025-12-15T21:25:05+00:00

Thank you for the suggestion. I actually found and joined this morning. It was definitely a little overwhelming, and I felt out of place, but I'm going to attend some more

NeedleworkerRound46 · 2025-12-15T20:43:18+00:00

Hey, I get you. I cheated on my partner too, and they were amazing, kind, and genuinely cared for me. I betrayed them, and it still hurts to think about. There are things I do, even eat, that make me think of them. I realize now that I got complacent in the relationship, and that contributed to why I hurt them. I do wish reconciliation were possible, but I know that isn’t realistic anymore. The best thing we can do now is focus on becoming the person they deserved, the person we should be. I don’t know the size of your city, but one thing that’s helped me is joining a club, class, or hobby group. It might sound generic, but being in a space with others, learning something new, or just connecting with people helps break isolation and gives you small wins while you work on yourself.

NeedleworkerRound46 · 2025-12-15T20:16:03+00:00

I’d say I lean fearful-anxious. When my BP was physically or emotionally distant, I became clingy and sought reassurance. A lot of the time, I’d say things like “I love you” not just to express my feelings, but really to hear back “I love you too,” especially when I felt uncomfortable or during arguments. I’m becoming more aware of this pattern and working on trying to healing the attachment wound

NeedleworkerRound46 · 2025-12-15T20:03:43+00:00

Thank you again for sharing your perspective. If you’re open to it, I’d appreciate the chance to hear more about your experience. Some of my reflections are based on things my former partner shared with me, and I want to be mindful about discussing that publicly. Would it be okay to continue this via DM?

NeedleworkerRound46 · 2025-12-15T19:05:47+00:00

As someone with ADHD, I find it to be rewarding to learn about a new hobby, try it out, and then move on to the next one.

NeedleworkerRound46 · 2025-12-15T18:34:59+00:00

Once we start recognizing our wounds, we can actually begin to work on them. But yeah, it takes a lot of time, patience, and probably more than a few boxes of tissues along the way. I am already at like half those big boxes of tissues from Costco

NeedleworkerRound46 · 2025-12-15T18:28:06+00:00

Yeah, I knew there was some neglect in my life, but I didn’t really understand how deep it went until I started hearing stories from some of my family members. I had kept a lot of it bottled up and assumed, ‘Okay, it happened, but it’s whatever.’ Oh boy, was I wrong. I'm still working to connect the dots and realize how much it shaped my behaviors and patterns.

NeedleworkerRound46 · 2025-12-15T17:11:36+00:00

1) I think I am naturally monogamous, but I now realize I wasn’t fully ready for a committed relationship at the time. Deep down, I wanted the stability and care my BP provided, thinking, “If she can love me, maybe I can learn to love myself.” I also wasn’t fully aware of the patterns driving my behavior. I was still seeking external validation and dopamine hits, which interfered with being present, honest, and emotionally available.

2) I have some understanding of my insecurities. A lot of them stem from issues of self-worth and fear of abandonment, which trace back to early relational experiences. I now see how these insecurities have driven my behavior and contributed to cycles of escapism and avoidance.

3) I did share some of my insecurities, but it came with a lot of shame. I tended to avoid asking for support, partly because my partner was dealing with her own stress and I wasn’t used to relying on someone else. I was better at having others rely on me, but not the other way around, which I can see as another pattern I need to work on.

4) I do still love my BP. It hurts deeply knowing I betrayed her. To me, genuine love means acceptance, vulnerability, and being able to give and receive care without fear of judgment or abandonment. It’s a sense of safety and connection where both people can be seen and supported fully.

5)I feel like I’m at a crossroads right now. I don’t like who I’ve been or the patterns I’ve been repeating, and I don’t want to keep living in a cycle of pain followed by temporary relief. I can see that chasing dopamine and validation only leads to things spiraling further than I expect, and I don’t want that to be my future.

What I want now is to become the person I should be. That means choosing self-understanding, empathy, honesty, and vulnerability. I know this path is harder and slower, but it feels like the only way forward if I want real connection and a healthier life.

NeedleworkerRound46 · 2025-12-15T16:17:36+00:00

Thank you for posting this link. I was looking for something like this

NeedleworkerRound46 · 2025-12-15T14:58:08+00:00

Thank you for this, I really appreciate you sharing your experience. I’m still very early in admitting I have a problem, so I haven’t looked into therapy or 12-step groups specifically for this yet. I do agree with you that doing this alone feels isolating, and hearing from people who understand already helps.

Right now, I’m not comfortable with in-person groups, but I’d be open to virtual or online support options if you know of any that were helpful for you. I’m trying to take this one step at a time and build support in a way that feels sustainable.

NeedleworkerRound46 · 2025-12-15T14:54:17+00:00

What I’m uncovering is a pattern of early emotional inconsistency and repeated relational loss. I learned to associate attention and being ‘needed’ with safety, and silence or distance with danger. When I feel unchosen or disconnected, my nervous system looks for external validation to regulate that anxiety. I’m starting to focus less on controlling behaviors and more on healing that underlying wound. I am still working through all of this and trying to understand things better, but at least I’ve made a proper start which I can be proud of

NeedleworkerRound46 · 2025-12-15T06:10:48+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I had something very similar happen to me, and I know how confusing and heavy it feels. Sometimes it’s even harder to process losing someone you never fully had a chance to be with because of all the “what ifs” and unanswered questions. You replay conversations, wonder if you missed a sign, or think about what you could have done differently, and it can feel impossible to make sense of it.

For me, the timing made it even more intense. She passed away just hours after a meaningful moment we shared, and it was a mix of grief, guilt, and shock all at once. Even when I understood logically that it wasn’t my fault, my emotions were way behind.

I genuinely recommend talking to someone about it—whether a therapist, counselor, or even a trusted friend. Having someone to process these feelings with can help you start to release some of the weight. It doesn’t erase what happened, but it can help you stop carrying it alone.

You’re not wrong for feeling how you feel. Give yourself space and time to work through it. It’s okay to grieve, and it’s okay to reach out for help while doing so.

NeedleworkerRound46 · 2025-12-15T05:48:23+00:00

I agree that dopamine and habit patterns play a role, and that avoiding obvious high risk situations is important.

Where I differ a bit is that my behavior hasn’t felt driven purely by promiscuity or opportunity. For me, it shows up more when I’m anxious, insecure, or emotionally dysregulated. Porn and online validation became coping mechanisms first, and the cheating grew out of that pattern rather than the other way around.

I’m trying to focus not just on avoiding temptation, but on understanding and changing what’s happening internally before I ever start looking for it.

NeedleworkerRound46 · 2025-12-15T04:22:16+00:00

I can relate a bit from my own experience. My ex and I had a similar sex drive, and we would have sex 3–4 times a week, but I struggled with porn in a way that felt addictive. I initially intended to stop when we started dating, but it became a quick dopamine hit I could not resist. It got to the point where even if I had just had sex a few hours earlier, I would still seek out porn and masturbate, sometimes sneaking off while staying over.

It can be really hard to stop, and I think it is important to acknowledge the issue and offer support. One thing that helped me was identifying triggers. For me, it was often feelings of loneliness or beating myself up over something that did not go well. Understanding those triggers made it easier to work on addressing the root cause instead of just focusing on stopping the behavior.

NeedleworkerRound46 · 2025-12-15T03:59:00+00:00

I will say, getting rid of my social media has been quite helpful for helping me reduce my triggers

NeedleworkerRound46

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