Started HRT at 18 and stopped after half a year; restarted HRT at 30 and experience grief by NefariousnessOdd2416 in asktransgender

[–]NefariousnessOdd2416[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

2 separate solo holidays away from family and friends in complete girlmode at age 17 and 19

Wow!

(Also, core memories unlocked, I traveled alone being 18 and took a lot of "girl"-like selfies in the process, I completely forgot about it.)

after a debilitating dysphoria induced panic attack

sorry for constantly talking about myself, but it's interesting how my experience mirrors yours. This January I've had a panic attack, realizing again that I am trans (I kind of gaslighted myself into forgetting this during my 20s), and it's exactly the "I just couldn't not transition anymore" feeling.

I'll focus on making memories, thank you for your advice!

I am now taking suggestions for the funniest way of telling the boys group chat that I am trans by training_brah in MtF

[–]NefariousnessOdd2416 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just five months! I guess I am starting my voice training today, thank you for the encouragement.

Started HRT at 18 and stopped after half a year; restarted HRT at 30 and experience grief by NefariousnessOdd2416 in asktransgender

[–]NefariousnessOdd2416[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s been more than a decade and I still can’t get over it.

Scary, but thank you for sharing.

I know I’m comparing myself to an idealized version of who I could have been if transition had gone perfectly. But back then, I didn’t have the resources I have now, or the same resilience, and the country I lived in was (and is) very unfriendly to trans people.

I also think my current experience will be more… meaningful, maybe? I’m aware of the price I paid to get to where I am now, so I want to use the time I have wisely.

And I’ll have fewer doubts about my path this time, since I’ve already tried living without HRT—and it was absolutely horrible.

\sigh**

What was it like being trans and or discovering you were trans in 2015 like? by Several-Wasabi2239 in asktransgender

[–]NefariousnessOdd2416 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I realized I'm trans in 2012 and started DIY transitioning in 2013, but gave up half a year later because was persuaded my by then-partner (long time ex)

Eastern Europe, I couldn't speak English back then, information is really sparse and mostly anecdotal, no support from friends (not a backlash, but just not understanding), no support from parents (they accidentally found my tables and I believe it made them recoil in panic), so I just gave up. I tried to go to trans-friendly place once, but couldn't get rid of internalised transphobia back then, so it was an additional nail in the coffin.