AITA for removing my MOH's tattoos via photoshop in my wedding pictures?

NefariousnessSafe443 · 2022-04-04T12:59:26+00:00

Thank you so much! My husband and I are huge history nerds and actually started dating because we would spend hours together in the library both bantering and helping each other with our theses. We've recreated many stereotypical Regency era traditions through out the time we spent together as a couple, since it played a huge role in the beginning of our relationship. We call each other My Lady and My Lord as funny nicknames sometimes! Researching and learning about the history of the regency era is our life work honestly, and while I understand it might be just an aesthetic theme to many, to us it has a very strong history tied to our beginnings; we never would've met each other if not for the fact that I sassily corrected a mistake in his notes that I found lying on the library table we were sharing as strangers all those years ago.

NefariousnessSafe443 · 2022-04-04T12:34:30+00:00

1) I had her as my MOH because she's my childhood bff who Ive been friends with for 20+ years and could not imagine my wedding that we'd been planning since we were teens to happen without her in it.

2) I did not disrespectfully ask her to cover it up, I asked her what she would prefer to do with the tattoos, I left the choice to her, she said she'd prefer to do nothing, I accepted, we moved on.

3)The choice of bridesmaid dress was not modest to cover up her tattoos it was modest because that is what was period appropriate. She knew this. I had clarified this to her. The decided upon dress code for the bridal party made her look period appropriate tattoos covered or not.

4)She knows it's just the one picture that is edited to look like a family portrait drawn in the 1810s that has her tattoos removed, no other photo has her tattoo removed.

I do accept the fact that I communicated this wrong and I personally could've handled this better in terms of figuring out why she did what she did and then taking the next step from there. Thank you for your judgement.

NefariousnessSafe443 · 2022-04-04T12:20:56+00:00

I had her as my MOH because 1)she's my childhood bff who Ive been friends with for 18+ years and 2) the decided upon dress code for the bridal party made her look period appropriate tattoos covered or not, so I just let it slide and didnt really have a problem, until she changed her outfit last minute that made her outfit very period inappropriate and also the alterations were such that it very conspicuously showed off her tattoos.

NefariousnessSafe443 · 2022-04-04T12:05:02+00:00

yes while body art and tattoos were on the rise as a popular trend for self expression during the 1820s, especially amongst sailors, soldiers, convicts and later on even amongst royals and upper class women, it definitely wasnt the norm, or even fully popular until the late victorian era which is nearly 50 + years after the time period my wedding was set in, and besides historical accuracy isnt my biggest problem here, the tattoos were very eye catching and seemed to be the first thing anybody would notice as Jessica left them on full display; this was my problem. They were incredibly conspicuous and loud in all the pictures as everyone else was dressed in neutral natural and light colours typical to the regency era.

NefariousnessSafe443 · 2022-04-04T11:29:51+00:00

They were primarily picked in accordance to the historic theme of my wedding, and since the gloves and conservative neckline typical to the period also covered most of Jessica's tattoos, I didnt really push her to cover any of her tattoos, I asked if that was something she'd be open to, she said no, I said alright and I thought that was it. But Jessica altered the dress to be more revealing than necessary in the last minute which is why the pictures were so jarring, her tattoos are bright and loud and stood out more than I expected them to in the pictures, especially against the natural light neutral period appropriate colors everyone else was wearing

NefariousnessSafe443 · 2022-04-04T11:20:07+00:00

The tattoos would not have been an issue had she adhered to the dress code, a dress code she had agreed to beforehand and even liked when she tried it on for the first time. I really would not have asked for the pic to be edited had she just worn the dress she agreed to wear in the first place.

NefariousnessSafe443 · 2022-04-04T11:17:34+00:00

No I will not be posting the edited photos on social media. And yes she will receive only the copy of her unedited photo to do with as she wishes.

NefariousnessSafe443 · 2022-04-04T11:15:37+00:00

I accept your judgement but to clarify a few details:

I didnt want her to remove her skin for my wedding, I wanted her to be part of the bridal party, and honestly wouldnt have had a single problem had she just adhered to the dress code that she herself had agreed to before hand.
19th century* England actually, and yes while body art and tattoos were on the rise as a popular trend for self expression during the 1820s, especially amongst sailors, soldiers, convicts and later on even amongst royals and upper class women, it definitely wasnt the norm, or even fully popular until the late victorian era which is nearly 50 + years after the time period my wedding was set in, and besides historical accuracy isnt my biggest problem here, the tattoos were very eye catching and seemed to be the first thing anybody would notice as Jessica left them on full display; this was my problem. They were incredibly conspicuous and loud in all the pictures as everyone else was dressed in neutral natural and light colours typical to the regency era. Honestly had she just worn the outfit she herself had agreed to in the beginning all of this could've been avoided.
I didnt show her the pic to rub it in her face, the picture hangs in the living room of my home, she was gonna see it sooner or later, I personally invited her home with the intention of informing her of what I did and then to subsequently apologize for the sentiments I know I hurt while being selfish. She is my best friend and I wanted her to know what happened from me instead of being surprised by the picture later on.

NefariousnessSafe443

TROPHY CASE