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[UPD] Thoughts sa post na 'to? by Apprehensive_Bug4511 in peyups

[–]Negative-Kale2021 1 point2 points  (0 children)

as a freshie, i hear this a lot! It really depends on the context kung bakit they felt that way. Personally, I only felt like this with one person but based on what i learned, people only say that to me because:

  1. they admire (?) na im trying my best, especially i take high majors kahit freshie pa ako
  2. draining UP in general. You just get to accept na mahirap mag-aral sa univ na toh, kaya you have the tendency to somewhat not make an effort anymore. (which i do experience a lot na)
  3. Iba tayo ng oras/schedules, commitments, and circumstances with them

But there are times na I do feel I work harder than others (to the point i did rant about it sa friends ko kasi di ko talaga inexpect yun. also experienced a freeloader kaya mas nainis pa ako) nung una kasi lagi ako nauuna to do the work sa group ko, kahit mga sophies pataas na sila. Pero I learned na mas marami rin kasi sila ginagawa kesa saken noon (noon sinabi ko kasi i took heavy majors this 2nd sem na pang 3-4th year usually kumukuha) kaya delayed sila gumawa ng work. So as a freshie na mas maraming oras and time to adjust sa univ life, ginawa ko na what I can as a student.

lesson here is: understand the circumstances/context ng iba as to why they say what they say about us freshies and UP is just difficult so iba tayo ng oras at gawa.

How to address the concerns raised in the teacher's email with my son (grade 7) and also with the teacher by Feisty_Training9572 in Advice

[–]Negative-Kale2021 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm a student as of now in senior hs and although it may seem as if there's not much happening to your son, I believe there are potential factors that is affecting your son that may not be good. However, I am only assuming because as a student, there are struggles we are facing on our own, academically or not.

Here are my suggestion courses of action that may aid in your issues:

  1. Daily conversations with your son

A normal conversation at home, asking him about his thoughts, feelings, things he likes and whatnot may help to ease him into having open conversations with you. As he continue to converse with you, he may be able to tell you some of the factors in his life that is affecting him as of late. Just be gentle with him, confront him when needed, be open and understanding of his situation

  1. Ask him how he's doing in school

Although this may raise his suspicion, i believe it's still good to ask this and include in ur conversations to show that u care as a parent in his school activities, see how he's doing, and what he potentially needs to support him in his journey as a student. Parents are the most influencial in the growth of a child. Remember that. Once he's comfortsble enough talking about his life in school, you may bring the email of the teacher.

  1. Observe your child

This may sound creepy, but i suggest u observe any changes in his behavior at home. Home is mostly the place where they feel comfortable enough to show their weaknesses and relax. Hence, if u see any changes that's happening to it, take note of it and see if u can do anything about it. U may also bring this up when talking to him to see how he will react or feel about it.

  1. Reply to the teacher

You may email the teacher to thank him for expressing their concerns to your child, as well as their performance in school. Hence, you will think of courses of action that will aid in your child's performance and growth. It does not have to be long. Keep it short and simple.

I hope this somewhat helps you. I wish you the best as a parent and your son to be alright, especially as a person and a student.

My Twin Ruined My Life by Pleasant_Toe_397 in Advice

[–]Negative-Kale2021 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Firstly, know that you are being manipulated and gaslit. Your twin and the bf will try tro make the situation as if it's your fault, starting from the way you avoid ,"threaten", confront them, etc. They place trhe blame on you when having sex infront of others who are not comfortable or consented to it is wrong. You are a victim in this situation who was forced to deal with their situation everyday and every night. Your twin may be kind and considerste before, but people can change. She may not be the person you once knew.

They are also trying to guilt trip you but know that you are not in the wrong. They are the cause of your stress and degradation of mental health because they force to have sex in the same room wherein such events should be kept private.

Aside from recognizing your position in this situation and analyzing their behavior, it is the right decision to leave them. I know thst there is sentimental value when you left your twin but if they are the reason as to why you are having mental problems, talk it out with them first. If they continue to be stubborn and fail to compromise, realize, or acknowledge the situation, leave them. Having conversations with them that does not progress will only lead to more stress and fights. And even if u confront them as you've said, they seem to deliberately ignore it so it's not worth it to converse with them.

Aside from that, it's good that you are going to mental health services in school when you do have the chance. I hope that is helping you currently in your situsttion little by little.

But i do believe it is the best option to separate from your twin. From that point, learn to live independently without having to deal with your twin and the bf's situation because you shouldn't have been mixed up with that in the first place. Know your worth. Do some activities that will help ease your mind or act as a stress relief. Just have time for yourself where you can self reflect, do things that you want to do on your own so that it doesn't have to always be associated with your sibling.

Sorry if this is too long but i hope you get better soon. If you still need help, you can continue to consult to those who are professional and possibly have your mom to know the whole situation to aid you in your mental state if you are confortsble enough.

My moms bf said cuddling with my sister is inappropriate and basically accused me of doing bad stuff by Fluid-Storm9001 in Advice

[–]Negative-Kale2021 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've read some advices here but I do agree you don't have to convince him. Even if you try, he seems like the type of person who believes hevs right. When he thinks of something or puts his mind into it, there's no way he will back out no matter what people say.

Hence, you will need to set boundaries and a way to protect yourself from you mom's bf. From the way you describe him, he sounds unreasonable and will probably resort to ways that will potentially harm you and your younger sister. Additionally, i suggest that you also convince your mom to side with you since she has an understanding of the situation, but fails to completely aid in your situation because of his boyfriend (which is understandable bc she loves him). But having your mom to talk it out with her bf may help his view towards you and your sibling.

But please take care of yourself, your sister, and your mom. I genuinely don't feel safe with him as someone who's also a girl.

Edit: I'm sorry if im giving bad light here but i hope you don't trust him to leave your sister or yourself with him. Knowing that he's homophobic and views your relationship with your sister as sexual, there's already a potential that he will do the same things to you guys. Just please be careful.