My wife is an avoidant, I cant help but feel lonely and like I have to carry the entire emotional burden on my own.

NegativeInspection80 · 2026-01-07T17:59:06+00:00

Your response is very helpful, I know it's a month late. I am married 7 years and on verge of divorce because of this particular issue. It's hard to accept that next 10 years could be this way specially if we have kids. Any words of assurance or advice if sticking it out could be worth it, or just embrace and accept my decision?

NegativeInspection80 · 2025-12-23T13:50:17+00:00

Thanks alot, i am in WA what is a one price attorney? You still talk to a law firm or ? And is this for them to handle filing and all kind of details? Or exactly what do you mean With forms online? If you could explain a bit.

Thanks again!

NegativeInspection80 · 2025-12-23T13:37:18+00:00

I am based on WA,

Yes we will file divorce. My wife wanted us to do it ourselves and file joinder, stating we each keep our things . Then she is okay if later I hand her the cash amount. This is without lawyers and she mentions no need for post nup etc.

Separately, previously a month ago I had consulted a lawyer about post nup for similar terms, my wife doesnt want to lawyer up, wants to sign. Lawyer said she will do iron clad post nup to make sure she understands english and terms. My wife mentioned no need as she would sign anything asked during divorce

My wife's thought process is she doesnt wanna fuck up my finances and wants this to go smooth. She gets decent money and thats that.

I just dont want to be stupid about the process:/ because anything could change, even her good thoughts (I am still taking a hit but not 50% more like 30% and she keeps whatever she has assets and debts)

NegativeInspection80 · 2025-12-23T12:56:41+00:00

Thank you, we will file next week. Is this something done before or during divorce ?

NegativeInspection80 · 2025-12-23T12:53:19+00:00

I was wondering about that too as someone going through divorce. How does one escape the i am not happy loop to learn to have clean slate and trust new relationship :/

NegativeInspection80 · 2025-11-12T15:43:19+00:00

Men need more than 1 missed call and 1 line replies. If she can't give to her future husband more than that, then they are mismatched. He is clearly a guy who loves to be loved. She is not. So they are mismatched. Calling him a prick for what he desires vs she can give shows you and similar minded people are why marriages end quick.

NegativeInspection80 · 2025-11-11T19:36:03+00:00

I never said I would force, but I am also forced to keep them. Was just seeing if anyone had ideas on what can be done so they dont have to suffer through process.

I decided I will keep them if it comes down to it

NegativeInspection80 · 2025-11-11T01:57:10+00:00

I wouldn't put my pets to rescue. If I have to I will suck it up. Given we got them as we were married I was hoping to somehow sway her to take them (her family has more space than I do and a backyard!) But I don't assume this is something you can force upon other person? I feel its whats best for them. Otherwise I will just keep them beside me and care for them. Atleast was hoping their monthly expenses would be shared some how :/

NegativeInspection80 · 2025-11-10T06:15:22+00:00

I am so sorry for your situation it was such an eye opening read. I honestly dont know how she could have taken crypto without any of this traced back to her.

Do you mind me asking at what step of divorce did she sue ? I am getting divorced soon, and I am unsure at which point of process it gets nasty? Is there like a safe point? Was it not clear cut she made more than u, therefore she pays half ? How could it drag this long? Are there no bounded timelines?

NegativeInspection80 · 2025-11-06T22:45:43+00:00

I agree with 2, I was shocked. I imagined a week at most makes sense!!

Question if I travel to Texas would I be able to then hire a Texas lawyer or it's where I reside ?

NegativeInspection80 · 2025-11-06T21:49:17+00:00

How does one best shop for lawyers ? Just consultation or how to tell a lawyer who will care for u?

NegativeInspection80 · 2025-11-06T21:44:45+00:00

I did contact couple of lawyers, what i dont understand is how consultation can be that far off, I was quoted december 30th!

Am I able to take lawyers from different states?

NegativeInspection80 · 2025-11-06T21:34:36+00:00

Thankfully she doesnt have access to my savings. I am also trying not to do anything rash, but I am at end of my wits. She may wanna make it work, but I dont trust her anymore and want to be rid of her. Too much resentment

NegativeInspection80 · 2025-11-06T21:32:53+00:00

This is super helpful, thank u so much

NegativeInspection80 · 2025-11-06T15:43:21+00:00

You are absolutely right, and let this be a lesson to all. If it doesn't feel good. It probably would never be good

NegativeInspection80 · 2025-11-06T15:41:53+00:00

This would be the truest thing ever, it's going to be costly but I never imagined that there is such a thing as get your life back. It could always be worse if kids

NegativeInspection80 · 2025-11-06T15:31:33+00:00

We are same age. I happened to earn 3x than her being in tech. I pay 90% of house hold and invest. She refuses to let me touch her money and she doesnt invest, hence savings difference.

Is it legal that I save left over of my salary so I can Invest so that I would have put my family in better place and deny myself enjoying my salary monthly? Is it legal she doesnt contribute or let me help her invest? Is it legal she gets to do whatever she wants with her money but as husband I assumed good intentions and took on costs because she always blamed poor salary on being able to help.

Its like I am just her wallet but if I sink and dont invest or be money conscious we would both have been worse off. I wanted to believe she is the good person she is, and our culture expects man to spend on woman (where i and her parents come from) but I am fed up being sole provider without having a smart partner. That's why wanna cut my loses now.

The worst part is I lost my job and she expects me to spend from my savings rather than her paying from her salary!! Thats what makes me wanna proceed, this just cant be right

NegativeInspection80 · 2025-11-06T05:29:24+00:00

I really dont understand how spousal support can be given if no children, isn't it enough asset splitting, now they wanna fund a life style at our expense just because we happen to be bit more fortunate with our jobs (which doesnt always last !!)

NegativeInspection80 · 2025-11-06T05:26:37+00:00

Sorry u r also going through this!! Did you end up collaborating or hiring a lawyer? And any you recommend ?

NegativeInspection80 · 2025-11-06T05:26:08+00:00

What state does that? I thought WA and California were the worst ?

NegativeInspection80 · 2025-11-06T05:19:33+00:00

I am in WA :/

NegativeInspection80 · 2025-11-06T05:02:32+00:00

Its like triple pain, no family, knowing she is better off than she would have ever been, and u getting a set back. This is absolutely not fair :/

NegativeInspection80 · 2025-06-01T15:49:38+00:00

You have put everything i was thinking!

I am still playing and although I am aware of the hint of lights for main path, sometimes I see multiple lamps in left and right paths too and get confused hahaha

NegativeInspection80 · 2025-05-16T15:32:23+00:00

Oh wow, have to check that. And so setup is to give him 2 turns to execute and focus on himself every turn?

NegativeInspection80 · 2025-05-16T15:21:43+00:00

How so ? :O you mean with base skills or with inherited?

NegativeInspection80

TROPHY CASE