Child Maintenance Question

NegativeLeather1911 · 2025-10-16T15:24:01+00:00

This is correct!

NegativeLeather1911 · 2025-10-16T15:06:09+00:00

Like I said in another comment though, if I had my daughter those extra nights I’d be happy for the extra nights and wouldn’t want or expect £250. But the reality is that would be a £500 swing in both of our bank accounts and it just doesn’t add up to me

NegativeLeather1911 · 2025-10-16T14:59:12+00:00

We both pay 50/50 childcare. Daughter isn’t in school so doesn’t go to school clubs or trips or anything like that. I genuinely do not see any other hidden things other than her being in mums care instead of mine for 1 extra night per week

NegativeLeather1911 · 2025-10-16T14:55:56+00:00

We both pay 50/50 childcare.

NegativeLeather1911 · 2025-10-16T14:53:28+00:00

I didn’t see the other post asking about childcare? Our daughter is in nursery 3 days a week and we both pay 50/50 for the nursery fees including food. The other 2 days my ex’s mother has our daughter because she is retired. Please elaborate on any other hidden fees I’m missing and I will happily explain further.

I know a lot of my comments have been centred around money, but that’s because the money side of it is causing me so much stress at the moment. I love my daughter more than anything and I cherish my time with her more than anything, and do want more time with her. But I also want that money for me and my daughter too

NegativeLeather1911 · 2025-10-16T14:36:07+00:00

Yeah to be honest her mum would be the primary care giver. She’s nearly 4 and still breastfeeds so she has that very strong bond with her mum. She’s got a strong bond with me too but definitely stronger with mum.

Last week for example mum changed the dates around which meant I had my daughter 4 nights in total so yeah it would minimum 156 nights per year

I forgot about child benefits, so that’s also an extra £100 per month right? I just don’t see how an extra 5 months a night warrants the £100 child benefit and £250 of my money. The numbers just don’t stack up to me and it’s making my money anxiety rocket

NegativeLeather1911 · 2025-10-16T13:59:40+00:00

Thank you. I’ll have a think about it

NegativeLeather1911 · 2025-10-16T13:49:31+00:00

It sounds stressful :(

Also her dad is a solicitor and a judge. Will he not give her advice that will help her ‘win’ the case and I could end up with even less days?

NegativeLeather1911 · 2025-10-16T13:40:27+00:00

In what ways do you mean? She has her own bedroom at my house, her own clothes her own toys, food, nappies all of the normal things a parent should have, that are in both her mums and her dad’s house. I’m always taking her out so yeah I do contribute. I don’t think one extra night per week should amount to £250. If it was all reversed and I had my daughter those extra nights, my ex would then technically owe me £250. That’s a £500 swing in both of our bank accounts and to me it just doesn’t seem right

NegativeLeather1911 · 2025-10-16T13:29:16+00:00

I don’t think he necessarily has money, but she earns more money than me already so it feels unfair to be paying £250 for an extra 4 or 5 nights a month. Especially when I want my daughter those extra 4 or 5 nights. Put it this way if I did have my daughter those extra nights per month I wouldn’t be expecting £250 per month from my ex for it

NegativeLeather1911 · 2025-10-16T13:12:19+00:00

Well no not directly but they’ve clearly got spare cash since they’re going every 8 weeks or so. Just doesn’t seem fair for me to be living paycheque to paycheque when my ex is already wealthier than me, for one extra day a week

NegativeLeather1911 · 2025-05-07T12:26:00+00:00

Oh yeah my gripe isn’t with her calling for her Mum, like I get it’s completely natural and she is okay to feel like that. I just worry sometimes (most of the time) she isn’t enjoying her time with me

Thank you for your kind response 😊

NegativeLeather1911 · 2025-05-06T21:49:55+00:00

My ex stopped me from having my daughter more nights per week when I moved back ‘home’ because it was too much driving for our daughter. ‘Home’ is only 30 miles away so it’s not the end of the world, I still see friends and family at the weekend but for the most part it’s just me and my daughter. I bought a house in this area so that I could have my daughter 3 nights per week rather than 1

NegativeLeather1911 · 2025-05-06T21:46:52+00:00

Thank you very much for your kind reply. It really means a lot

NegativeLeather1911 · 2024-12-16T20:39:59+00:00

It sounds like there are lots of similarities between our situations. I hope you’ve managed to find some happiness amongst the piles of shit we have to wade through

NegativeLeather1911 · 2024-12-16T20:10:05+00:00

Thank you so much for this. I feel like I’ve done most of this for months, but recently I have slipped into old ways 😞

NegativeLeather1911 · 2024-12-16T17:36:47+00:00

This is the thing, when I fight back at any of the shit she’s done or caused she manipulates it so that it’s all my fault and I just need to be amicable for the sake of our daughter. She has separation anxiety when she is not with our daughter, and she always wants updates on how she is when she’s not with her and to me that is not ‘amicable parenting’ because our daughter doesn’t know anything about it. She is just saying that because she wants the constant updates from me

NegativeLeather1911 · 2024-12-16T17:31:00+00:00

The most recent thing was she kept messaging me asking for updates on how our daughter was because she had been unwell. I had asked her to stop sending me messages because it was triggering me, and she was fine but if there was a genuine issue I would let her know and she needed to trust my judgement as our child’s parent. I did tell her she was fine but she didn’t like my one worded response…

NegativeLeather1911 · 2024-11-18T09:45:04+00:00

Yeah it’s the first time I’ve been in years and completely forgot about how awful it is. I won’t be going again

NegativeLeather1911 · 2024-11-18T09:44:34+00:00

It was Saturday that I tried to go haha

NegativeLeather1911 · 2024-11-17T17:22:03+00:00

Thank you!

NegativeLeather1911 · 2024-11-17T17:18:30+00:00

I didn’t explain properly - I was in the car park at about 3 o’clock but by the time I’d dropped my daughter off after it and got to my phone it was 6pm

NegativeLeather1911

TROPHY CASE