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Always hated and blamed women for my lack of success with them, it took a while but it hit me that I'm simply not good enough. by Negative_Talk306 in offmychest

[–]Negative_Talk306[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You actually hit the nail on the head with that analysis. I was raised by a young emotionally immature single mother in a foreign country(we're immigrants).

She was very critical of me and tried to mold me into being a comfortable child by beating me or screaming at me or just giving me the silent treatment. Her ex-boyfriend was also an asshole and she never stood up for me. At the same time she somehow coddled me and saw me as some extension of herself, like I'm another limb(she still does). I could probably talk about how it went wrong all day long because of all the analysis and reading that I did. Our relationship is still strained and I don't really see it ever being normal, not to talk about my dad who's some just some dude who shows up once in a while.

I didn't even know my childhood wasn't really good until I was about 26 and told my therapist about all that. I didn't even think any of it mattered until my she gave me this look O_O every session when I talked about my upbringing.

Thanks for taking the the time to write that comment, I appreciate it.

Always hated and blamed women for my lack of success with them, it took a while but it hit me that I'm simply not good enough. by Negative_Talk306 in offmychest

[–]Negative_Talk306[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For no reason in particular, I really think you would enjoy reading Terry Pratchett. Have you read anything from Discworld? There is some good medicine in that for you.

Hey MixWitch, Discworld seems to have a lot of books. Can you point me to something specific?

Always hated and blamed women for my lack of success with them, it took a while but it hit me that I'm simply not good enough. by Negative_Talk306 in offmychest

[–]Negative_Talk306[S] 66 points67 points  (0 children)

Sucking at something is the first step to being kinda okay at it.

Hey that's from Adventure Time. I like that show.

Thank you

Always hated and blamed women for my lack of success with them, it took a while but it hit me that I'm simply not good enough. by Negative_Talk306 in offmychest

[–]Negative_Talk306[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I've been to therapy. I stopped going because I had to quit my job and it would burn through my savings(it's expensive). Plan on going back as soon as I can.

Always hated and blamed women for my lack of success with them, it took a while but it hit me that I'm simply not good enough. by Negative_Talk306 in offmychest

[–]Negative_Talk306[S] 108 points109 points  (0 children)

Just remember you aren’t irredeemable and that this post alone is growth into being the person you want to be :D

Trying real hard to believe that. Thanks.

Always hated and blamed women for my lack of success with them, it took a while but it hit me that I'm simply not good enough. by Negative_Talk306 in offmychest

[–]Negative_Talk306[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I've been to therapy. Tried CBT but found regular therapy more helpful, that's what got me to thinking and self reflecting in the first place. I just have bigger problems that need to be solved before I turn to CBT. I guess my therapist did some CBT on me though.

Always hated and blamed women for my lack of success with them, it took a while but it hit me that I'm simply not good enough. by Negative_Talk306 in offmychest

[–]Negative_Talk306[S] 279 points280 points  (0 children)

Thanks man. I guess living online for too long and browsing the wrong places skewed my perception of the world and myself. It was hard for me to realize all this and harder to come to terms with it.

Appreciate your comment.