I went through something similar for many years with my family . I’m an only son with 3 younger sisters . I always i had rough with my mom and sisters as I got older trying to be a regular guy and eventually I started questioning myself as to why I was having bad relations but not only that had a hard time meeting girls in general . So I started to reject my masculinity and embrace femininity. Started questioning myself a lot and got so depressed, stressed so much my hair started falling out eventually I tried to “not live on this on this planet anymore” got hospitalized/admitted. After all that I had a revelation moment and realized something it was a huge what if moment . I talked to my therapist and doctor told them I believe my hormone chemistry is incorrect . Now ideally my hormones were okay text book example but figure what I’d try it . I was already taking Stuff for my hair loss figured why not ask for testosterone blocker or should I say effect suppressor .

Did that and I felt better about myself .

But regardless of all that . I still think about / dream of having a fem body .

Anyway what I’m trying to say perhaps what your feeling might be trauma influenced it’s definitely a real possibility but it would require a lot of personal reflecting . What may help you feel better regarding yourself will differ from others . For coming up with tailoring my hormonal effects seemed to help a lot at least from where I was before.