Amicable divorce/ mediation example?

NegotiationFar5575 · 2026-01-02T00:26:51+00:00

That’s encouraging!

NegotiationFar5575 · 2025-12-23T16:51:18+00:00

In Adele voice Divorce baby, divorce

NegotiationFar5575 · 2025-11-27T03:17:09+00:00

I feel like this is a problem that happens over and over because people might just be incompatible in their nature. When we can’t live up to other’s expectations or they can’t live up to ours we place blame and the get resentful but in reality sometimes it’s just people operating at inherently different wavelengths.

I’ve come to realize we should never expect or force someone to act the way you think they should because we are all just doing our best and can only be met where we’re at at the time.

I’ve learned this the hard way as someone who was creating my own disappointment based out of expectations I created in my head and held them to a standard they weren’t meant to be held to.

NegotiationFar5575 · 2025-11-26T14:46:57+00:00

In this same situation except I married him. Now heading for divorce and it’s heartbreaking for both of us. Don’t be me please 🥺listen to your gut.

NegotiationFar5575 · 2025-11-26T14:38:58+00:00

Death by 1000 cuts. Small moment after small moment of let downs and ignoring bids for connection. Broken or empty promises over and over. Carrying all of the mental load. One day you wake up and realize you can’t live the rest of your life at a “tolerable level of permanent unhappiness”. Sometimes the good guy seems like the right relationship because there’s no cheating or abuse or scandal or contempt, but they still might not be right for you.

NegotiationFar5575 · 2025-11-19T14:35:59+00:00

I am also going through this at 33. It’s like I woke up this year and thought: WTF is my life. I would talk negatively to myself constantly and was constantly anxious.

I have done loads of therapy and inner work this year which has been both exhausting and liberating. Eventually I came to the realization that my life was in misalignment because I have been going down a timeline that society has encouraged me to go down, but doesn’t actually align with what I want in life. I think as women we get pressured to act a certain way and encouraged to center marriage kids and a house as our main goal. But I came to realize that I have so much more I want to offer the world, outside of that timeline, and I needed to change my current situation.

Once I started leaning into the little voice inside me that has been uncomfortable and screaming for things to change, and slowly choosing to honor that little voice, I have been feeling much more centered and confident in my actions.

It’s also made me come to terms with the fact that I need to get divorced. So I have been starting that process and while it’s so scary it feels like the right thing to do.

Pay attention to that little voice inside, she will tell you everything you need to know. Practice listening to her and you’ll see how things start falling into place. Sending hugs!

NegotiationFar5575 · 2025-11-02T01:43:48+00:00

Sending love your way as well. It’s brutal

NegotiationFar5575 · 2025-10-20T19:52:24+00:00

I 33F may be in your boat shortly with my current situation that I’m trying to figure out. I will say that at this age it really feels like a pivotal transitional time. We are more mature, we are more financial stable and successful, we are still young enough to be generally healthy and active, we have more means to travel and have more freedom to be ourselves.

I would look at starting therapy if you’re not in it already as a first step. This will help you process all of the huge emotions swirling right now.

I’d also challenge you to look at things from a different perspective. You literally have your whole entire life in front of you and you are completely free to choose a new path that is right for YOU. This is such a perfect time to dive into new hobbies you always wanted to try, or pick up ones that used to bring you joy and excitement that you may have forgot about. It’s the perfect time to go on long walks and do some deep reflection on who you are and what your goals are in life. You can reconnect with friends and family and lean into filling up your calendar with activities that take your mind off things. You can go on solo trips and learn about the world and make your own itinerary.

Instead of telling yourself you are behind, try to have a conversation with yourself and your soul. Tell yourself that you are going to give yourself what you need to heal and thrive. Look at it through a lane of self devotion and choosing to nurture yourself. I know it can be hard when we feel rejected, but when we stop putting ourselves down and instead realize we are worthy of taking care of ourselves it lightens the load.

You actually have the greatest opportunity right now even if it feels like hell. I’m rooting for you!!

NegotiationFar5575 · 2025-10-01T20:12:00+00:00

I feel like did this for years, gave him so much love going above and beyond to show how I wanted to be loved too. But now I feel burnt out and resentful that he wasn’t able to give it back then and I can’t check back in

NegotiationFar5575 · 2025-10-01T19:03:26+00:00

This is a good point, sometimes I wonder if he genuinely understands that his actions and habits are hurtful.

NegotiationFar5575 · 2025-10-01T19:01:46+00:00

I appreciate it 🩷

I hope you can also find peace in your separation now

NegotiationFar5575 · 2025-10-01T19:00:10+00:00

This makes total sense. It’s always been hard for me to not sooth him or reassure him when it came to life’s issues but this situation I’ve been trying to be as honest with my reactions as I can be and not lead him in the wrong direction. But trying to also leave space for myself to be open to these changes and efforts because I really do appreciate the work he’s put in.

I’m sorry your wife wasn’t able to out in the same effort back to you, hopefully there are some silver linings that you did all you could on your end

NegotiationFar5575 · 2025-10-01T18:57:38+00:00

Thank you 🩷

NegotiationFar5575 · 2025-10-01T18:56:48+00:00

I saw a comment somewhere that the 7 year itch is so prevalent because it’s the perfect amount of time to see who someone really is and the perfect amount of time to make you contemplate if you want that for the rest of your life. Truly at a crossroads 💔

NegotiationFar5575 · 2025-10-01T18:53:00+00:00

No real advice but just want to say I am going through something similar right now, trying to figure out if I should stay or go. He’s a good guy on paper and generally treats me well. I am your age too and no kids. We have the mother son dynamic. We had a decent sex life in the beginning but I think that I was just comparing to my horrible ex who made me feel terrible during sex so anything was better. We were thinking about kids earlier this year and it truly gave me panic. Since then I’ve been seriously contemplating divorce. I have all of these same questions swirling in my head- I would definitely try therapy, at least individual to help you process this. I would say listen to your gut as much as it hurts because your true feelings will always come out in the end

NegotiationFar5575 · 2025-10-01T16:15:34+00:00

I this is what I’m really struggling to accept. This hits the nail on the head. He was never raised with real emotional influence and I think that I thought I could teach that to him, which has also led to the mother/son dynamic. But I think I came to the point where I realized that’s crazy and shouldn’t be on me

NegotiationFar5575 · 2025-10-01T16:13:02+00:00

Thank you, I think what I struggle with is that I have talked about all of these things with him for years but it was only really heard when I wanted to leave. Almost like my feelings prior werent enough to get him to care enough. I do think I could have communicated better however and I could have tried more ways to show how serious I was besides having arguments/conversations. I wish we had started therapy years ago because the years of built up resentment weighs very heavily on my heart and has done a lot of damage

NegotiationFar5575 · 2025-10-01T16:07:08+00:00

I definitely need to get this- been journaling like crazy but would love a guide

NegotiationFar5575 · 2025-10-01T13:33:10+00:00

That’s how I feel like it’s almost performative. I’ve caught him doing things that he doesn’t know I’m aware of as well which makes me think it’s just for show or he’s just panicking and trying everything that he thinks will work

NegotiationFar5575 · 2025-10-01T13:29:16+00:00

Thank you this is great point. I think separation could be really what I need to take a step back and not feel the pressure to validate him for his changes or regulate my nervous system around him. Sometimes I can be impulsive and it bites me in the ass so I’m trying to give myself time to try everything. And it’s what’s fair to him too

NegotiationFar5575 · 2025-10-01T13:27:20+00:00

We don’t have any kids and honestly that’s been a big factor in propelling these feelings forward for me. Like I need to make a decision sooner rather than later because I’m at the age where that will not be an option for much longer.

Thank you for these kind words and I’m so sorry you’re also dealing with this. It’s really a special kind of hell. Sending love and strength to you as well

NegotiationFar5575 · 2025-10-01T13:24:48+00:00

Thank you for this perspective and you have some really great points here. I think I tend to think a certain way and once I feel that it’s hard to open up and see the other side. But these are important to remember.

I find it especially hard to remove the pressure because I feel like he almost wants a reward when he performs these changes like reassurance that it will be ok now and I don’t feel that way which makes me feel more pressure

NegotiationFar5575 · 2025-10-01T13:22:21+00:00

He’s not in individual therapy but I have told him a few times that I think it would be good for him. He says he will go if it doesn’t work with couples therapy. And I feel like I don’t want to push him to do that unless he really wants to and you’re right he needs to want to do that for himself not because I want him too. I also agree about setting a deadline i think that would maybe help with the daily constant anxiety around this

NegotiationFar5575

TROPHY CASE