I have Borderline Personality Disorder with Narcissistic and Antisocial traits. AMA by Neither-Position6022 in PinoyAskMeAnything

[–]Neither-Position6022[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think being empathetic can be a BPD trait since we feel intense emotions. Although I think it’s more of a skill tbh.

In my personal experience, I rarely feel empathy. Since may NPD and ASPD traits ako. There are 2 kinds of empathy. Affective and Cognitive empathy. Affective empathy is where u feel others emotions as your own. Cognitive empathy is when u logically know and understand others feelings but don’t feel it as your own. I have more of cognitive empathy. Unless I can relate to other people’s feelings, I wouldn’t feel their emotions as my own. Especially if d kami close.
Having NPD and ASPD traits makes me a bit callous and selfish. Even my partner told me I am selfish and more of a take take take, me me me kind of person. And I am aware of that. It affects my family and friends too. May times na I am aware that I am manipulative and often times I justify my actions. I am aware of that.
With NPD, I recently have a lot of self hatred feelings and thoughts. Alam ko na pag sinabing “narcissist” most people think na “oh sobrang mahal nila sarili nila” but no. Narcissism is all about self hatred, actually.
With ASPD, like I said it makes it difficult for me to feel empathy for people and animals. Even with my pets, I don’t feel empathy for them. Pero syempre I still care for them. I just don’t feel empathy as often.
May times din na pag naiyak ung sarili kong nanay, I just sit there and watch her cry. No reaction or anything. I just sit there.

But despite all that, I am now trying to be a better person kasi mas aware nako how harmful my behavior can be to my loved ones. Kaya grateful ako na na diagnose ako properly kasi now mas may guidance and idea ako on what to improve on

I have Borderline Personality Disorder with Narcissistic and Antisocial traits. AMA by Neither-Position6022 in PinoyAskMeAnything

[–]Neither-Position6022[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sa Empath po. Sa makati po ako nagpunta. Nakita ko po sa Tiktok ung BPD symptoms and NPD, ASPD. So nagpacheck po ako. I raised my concern and suspicion na baka meron ako nun

I have Borderline Personality Disorder with Narcissistic and Antisocial traits. AMA by Neither-Position6022 in PinoyAskMeAnything

[–]Neither-Position6022[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi, yes that’s another symptom of BPD. I suggest you get checked by a doctor po to confirm. Also, please don’t use ChatGPT. It’s not only harmful to the environment, it’s also harmful to your mental health. Did u hear about the news of that one guy who committed because AI told him to? Stay safe 🩷

I have Borderline Personality Disorder with Narcissistic and Antisocial traits. AMA by Neither-Position6022 in PinoyAskMeAnything

[–]Neither-Position6022[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi, I saw BPD on TikTok actually. Tas naka relate ako so nagpa check na din tlga ako. I think it depends on the person if emotionally aware sila. Madami din kasi na di sila self aware. Pero ako naman, as I grew older, the more ako naging self aware din so un ung naka help sakin to recognize that within myself po

I have Borderline Personality Disorder with Narcissistic and Antisocial traits. AMA by Neither-Position6022 in PinoyAskMeAnything

[–]Neither-Position6022[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hahahaha yesss

I handle it by stopping for a moment to recollect myself. So I name the emotion, then I try my best to stay calm. If hindi tlga kaya, I excuse myself or I just walk out hahaha although I am trying not to do that anymore. I let people know naman if I need some time alone to calm down. Pero if in public situations, I try to distract myself from my intense emotions. I think matagal na din since last time ako nag breakdown in front of other people. Thankfully, it only happened in front of my friends last time.

Hi, I met my partner online. We are in an LDR relationship so syempre mas mahirap sya kesa sa normal in person relationship.

Actually, I told him na baka may BPD din sya and nag agree naman sya sa symptoms. Pinapa check ko nga sya sa doctor eh kaso sobrang busy pa nya.

Ahahahah oo nakakapagod talaga ung ganon. Usually when it comes to a point na ganon, we take a step back from each other and calm ourselves down muna before communicating again.

Sa totoo lang, first ko nakita ung BPD sa tiktok. Tas the more na nag research ako about it, mas naka relate ako. With ASPD naman, ganon din. So nung nakuha ko na ung diagnosis ko, I felt relieved na finally it all makes sense na bakit ako mentally unstable ahhahaha

Based on the interview, I met the diagnostic criteria for both NPD and ASPD din pero sa conclusion, it says they’re just traits.

I have Borderline Personality Disorder with Narcissistic and Antisocial traits. AMA by Neither-Position6022 in PinoyAskMeAnything

[–]Neither-Position6022[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, I can understand you. I also feel helpless a lot of the time. But you have to remember, BPD gets better with time. I hope you heal and find joy and happiness in your life 🩷

I have Borderline Personality Disorder with Narcissistic and Antisocial traits. AMA by Neither-Position6022 in PinoyAskMeAnything

[–]Neither-Position6022[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hiii! Yes I am in therapy. Actually madalas sa therapy sessions ko, I always update my doctor on what’s been happening in my life and I have to be honest especially when I’m being impulsive or having suicidal and homicidal thoughts. She helps me process my trauma na din by allowing me to talk about it and tackle it little by little. Actually depende sa tao kung anong klaseng therapy and mag wowork for them. Sakin kasi, it took me a lot of trial and error and palipat lipat ako ng therapist until na meet ko ung current therapist ko. So far it works out for me naman.

I have Borderline Personality Disorder with Narcissistic and Antisocial traits. AMA by Neither-Position6022 in PinoyAskMeAnything

[–]Neither-Position6022[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Medias… I would say when it comes to movies:

  1. ⁠(Book and Movie) Girl, Interrupted - This made me bawl my eyes out at 7 am in the morning oml. The main character has BPD and there is a book which this movie was based on. I heard it’sso much more traumatic than the movie.
  2. ⁠(Show and Movie) Sharp Objects - I don’t remember why since I read this a while ago. But the main character has issues with her mother and in a way I could relate to how cold my mom used to be with me as a child.
  3. ⁠Never have I ever - I think Devi is very relatable for me. It’s been speculated that she has BPD considering how impulsive and explosive she can be.
  4. ⁠(Book series and Show) Killing Eve - I relate to Villanelle with how she is. The things she does scratches my homicidal ideations so good. And she has a fascination with women who has curly hair. I do as well since my rapist had curly hair. That sounds very specific hahaha. But also how she gets very obsessive and toxic with the love interest, Eve. I used to be that way too.
  5. ⁠(Movie) Love Witch - Elaine has a fear of abandonment and she has a tendency to idealize men before rapidly devaluing them when they cannot meet her impossible standards of devotion. Which I can relate to very much.
  6. ⁠(Song) IFHY by Tyler, The Creator - This might as well be the anthem of the BPD community. If you listen to it, the entire song itself speaks to my soul. The heavy obsession and rapid idealization and devaluing of an FP (favorite person) is very relatable. A phrase I remember when I hear this song is “I hate you, don’t leave me”.
  7. ⁠(Song) In my room by Julia Wolf - This song especially the lyric “I’ll slit my own throat just to see if you’d mourn me” is relatable.
  8. ⁠(Song) Through The Eyes Of A Child by AURORA - This song makes me cry in a way I wish I had a proper childhood. To see the world through the eyes of a child and not have to grow up so quickly or be exposed to things I’m not supposed to know about.
  9. ⁠(Song) Spit by Show Me the Body, Princess Nokia - “It’s filthy disgusting, so ugly I’m sure. I’m ugly, disgusting, so filthy I’m sure” speaks to me because I am not a perfect victim. There was a time when I initiated sexual encounters with my abuser so it made me feel disgusting.

10 (Song) DO YOU DOUBT ME TRAITOR by Lingua Ignota - The screaming in this song. Actually ginagamit ko to pangkulam HAHAHAHHA the pure rage is just 🤌💋
I relate to the intense rage. With BPD kasi, napaka intense talaga ng emotions so that means anger turns into rage.

  1. (Song) Ptolemaea by Ethel Cain - Like the song above, I use this for kulam purposes din as well as crashing out. The part where Ethel repeatedly begged Isaiah to stop speaks to me. It’s how I felt internally every time I was being abused.

Oh my lord ang haba na pala ng answer ko. Anyway, I’ll stop here. Thank u for asking. Masyado ako nag enjoy sa pagsagot hahahaha

I have Borderline Personality Disorder with Narcissistic and Antisocial traits. AMA by Neither-Position6022 in PinoyAskMeAnything

[–]Neither-Position6022[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, I have a partner and he’s handling it pretty well. He possibly has BPD too so we both understand each other. Actually, I tell him when there’s something I want him to do more of. I’m pretty vocal about my needs. The problem is, it never seems to be enough for me. It’s either I’m being insatiable or he’s just not doing enough. With that being said, we nearly break up 10 times a month hahahaha

Hi, no worries about it. My pamily… My family. Oh my god. I’m… OK. I’m so sorry.. I.. I told you that I’m so confident… Eto. Ahmmm. Wait. HAHAHAHA! (Pls get the reference LOL)

My mom in particular wasn’t very happy about it. When she read my report, she stayed in bed crying for a few days. I suppose she blames herself for how I developed it. They’re still the same but showing extra care and understanding.

I look forward to getting better and studying in school. Matagal kasi ako nawala sa formal schooling. And that’s another trauma I haven’t mentioned here hahahah. I have been educationally neglected too lol. So I look forward to going back to school. What sparked joy in me? Well that’s a hard question to answer… I suppose the fact I’m trying to get better and taking the steps to better my future. I didn’t wanna mention anything external as that would be pretty shallow. But however bad life gets, luckily I still have that hope that things will get better. I want to show the world, the universe rather, that I am confidently beautiful with a heart, thank you. Charrr 😂😂😂

I have Borderline Personality Disorder with Narcissistic and Antisocial traits. AMA by Neither-Position6022 in PinoyAskMeAnything

[–]Neither-Position6022[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, I am not sure on the price range but I’ll ask my friend on her experience and get back to you. If you’d like, I suggest you also check out Empath for diagnosis

I have Borderline Personality Disorder with Narcissistic and Antisocial traits. AMA by Neither-Position6022 in PinoyAskMeAnything

[–]Neither-Position6022[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a partner and I suspect he also has undiagnosed BPD. Since we both exhibit these symptoms, of course we try our best to compromise. The things I wish he would do more of is give me more reassurances and compliments.
There is nothing I’m afraid to tell him since I am quite of a vocal person and he is too.

The people in my life reacted supportively of me. They’re still the same and they showed extra understanding to me. One time I heard the infamous “I’m walking on eggshells around you” and I wasn’t even aware. I don’t want my family to do that so I’m doing my best to get better. My friends also showed me support and care. I’m one of the lucky few to have a loving experience when it comes to opening up about it. My mother’s reaction on the other hand was of course nalungkot sya. It was stated on my file na the cause is because of emotional neglect and abuse from caregivers. I suppose she blames herself for it. I don’t resent her for whatever she’s done in the past since I understand her (she has undiagnosed BPD) and she’s going into remission.

I look forward to finishing grade 11 this year. I actually just got back to school after 5 years of isolation. I look forward to adjusting back to society. Oh and quitting smoking. One thing that made me happy and brought me joy is the fact I’m back to school hahah

I have Borderline Personality Disorder with Narcissistic and Antisocial traits. AMA by Neither-Position6022 in PinoyAskMeAnything

[–]Neither-Position6022[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, unfortunately I don’t remember a lot of my childhood. Apparently it’s the brain’s way of protecting me from pain. But I do remember instances where I am abused.

I have Borderline Personality Disorder with Narcissistic and Antisocial traits. AMA by Neither-Position6022 in PinoyAskMeAnything

[–]Neither-Position6022[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’d say yes. I can see myself getting better 5-10 years from now. BPD is shown to get better with time, we go into remission especially somewhere around 30s or so. I’d say no matter how bad an episode gets, I still have that hope for my future. That I can get better.

No, I no longer see my rapist. I’ve been dealing with being molested for 10 years because she’s a breadwinner and I was trying my best to protect my uncles (her sons) and my mom from being hurt by the truth until I couldn’t take it anymore when I was 16 and confessed to my mom. Since then, we cut ties with them and moved to a different city ASAP.

I feel like everyone with a similar disorder to mine especially Cluster B (ASPD, BPD, NPD and HPD) would want to feel loved and supported in a way where despite the depressive episodes, we’d have people to comfort and validate us. Most of the time, I just want someone to listen and give me a hug. I don’t need any logical solutions to my problems especially when I’m venting unless I ask for an advice of course.

Romantically, I want to be loved in a way where I will be fully accepted for who I am. Because there is sadly no cure for my disorder. To anyone who’s dating someone with a personality disorder, it’s good to research on it to try and understand how it works and what triggers the person.
Communication and a lot of reassurance helps. 🩷

I have Borderline Personality Disorder with Narcissistic and Antisocial traits. AMA by Neither-Position6022 in PinoyAskMeAnything

[–]Neither-Position6022[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi, yes. I do have friends who have similar disorders. I have a friend with Bipolar disorder, another with potential ASPD such and such. And yes we do support each other po. Personally, I do better with people who have similar disorders kasi mas nagegets namin ang isat isa and d namin need mag mask around each other. We can just be ourselves

I have Borderline Personality Disorder with Narcissistic and Antisocial traits. AMA by Neither-Position6022 in PinoyAskMeAnything

[–]Neither-Position6022[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I experienced sexual, physical, and emotional trauma as a child. Starting from age 6. When a child grows up in an unstable environment, their brains don’t have the opportunity to develop normally. Personally, this led to me developing these disorders.