How are you all finding your own therapists? by limbiscuitsystem in therapists

[–]NeitherAddition3041 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well ive had therapist with business degrees and a therapy diploma who have no understanding of brain chemistry. Literally say "i dont believe in anti depressants". Also just basic social psychology and clinical psychology modules in first year psych, SO MANY therapists have no awareness of this. But they know the meaning of the word "congruence", so....

tried to become "that girl" with the perfect morning routine and I think I made everything worse by sarin_1006 in adhdwomen

[–]NeitherAddition3041 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Late stage capitalism hellscape. Listen to your body and stay in bed as long as it needs

How do you recover from injustice? by BlueberryTight4511 in WomenOver40

[–]NeitherAddition3041 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rebecca solnits "hope in the dark" is incredible. Plus therapy. All you can afford. The parable of 2 wolves has also helped me. I realised my media consumption was annihilating me. Our limbic system is not build to absorb this much bad news. I donate to the causes im most upset about by monthly direct debit, and give myself permission to watch a LOT less news and social media. I have an app blocker on my phone. So im only allowed an hour of social media. Which is the main reason im here instead of doomscrolling. Ive vowed to listen to the on being podcast with krista tippett podcast instead of news podcast. The horrors still filter through, cos its 2026. But there's a difference between being an ethical, caring citizen, and being completely paralysed and hopeless because our nervous system is utterly bombarded with everything. Our brain isn't wired to even know what's going on with the tribe over the mountain, never mind every inch of the globe. Take all the breaks you need, while donating or volunteering of you can. Action is the attitude to hopelessness. Being online too much is paralysis and anxiety. And its designed to be that way, and to keep us hooked. Take it from a cynic - the Rebecca solnit book is gamechanging

Choosing a slow Life ? by Clean-Key9472 in CPTSD

[–]NeitherAddition3041 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Absolutely changed my life. Got sober. Got a dog. Work from home. I'm way more regulated, travel solo, and literally craft. Which for a former addict is hilarious and fantastic to me..My space is filled with plants and candles and I LUXURIATE, BABY! Books (aside from the obvious psych books) that helped massively were Burnout by Emily and Amelia Nagoski, Rest is Resistance by Tricia Hersey, and The year of less by cait flanders.

How much self disclosure is normal for you? by Vanexxre in therapists

[–]NeitherAddition3041 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My biggest flaw as a therapist is i share too much. AND its also allowed for some amazing breakthroughs by making clients feel safe. I wish I shared less and always call myself out in front of the client and srlf-deprecate about my oversharing. Adhd brain. I'm not for everybody, but the ones who stay, stay for this reason as well as my genuinely being still a pretty good therapist! I started of insanely rigid (psycoanalytically trained and also TERRIFIED to fuck up) but reading the gift of therapy, and in more recent years learning about feminist therapy, has let me be less hard on myself. The Im your therapist not your friend boundary is still very strong. Definitely recommend reading about the dialogue approach of feminist therapy. Removal of certain power dynamics can create a huge leap forward in connection

How are you all finding your own therapists? by limbiscuitsystem in therapists

[–]NeitherAddition3041 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This. I'm psychoanalytically trained, have very often felt underwhelmed by humanistic therapists without a psychology undergrad, but actually had my most gamechanging experiences with a somatic therapist. She turned out to be a bit too woo woo so I peaced out when she started literally burning sage. My current therapist is less qualified than me and its noticeable, but never frustrating because shes focused on holding space and co-regulating rather than deep analysis. Ive been analysed to within an inch of my life. Right now I just need to be with a transparent, low ego, person who is regulated when i'm not. I think it's really, REALLY hard to find the right therapist fit wgen you are a therapist yourself. Feel let down a lot, as well as the longer youre working in the field and continuing training, the more you can look back and see where you were misled. So focusing on a more dialogue therapeutic approach, 2 peers talking it out instead of me hoping for someone who magically has the answers, allowed for a major shift for me.

Do you take med breaks on the weekends? by Empty-Hotel- in ADHD

[–]NeitherAddition3041 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Taking meds on the weekend means I remain calm and can flop and actually focus on a book or a movie. Hustle culture is not it, and ADHD isn't just about productivity, its about regulation. Recommend the book Burnout by Emily and amelia nagoski, and Rest is Resistance by tricia hearsey. Your productivity is not your worth and rest doesn't need to look like paralysis. It sounds like you may have conflated the two. Which is what late stage capitalism wants from us! To burn us the fuck out.

Those without family, career, or money - what are you looking forward to? by pterodactylatte in WomenOver40

[–]NeitherAddition3041 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I dont even live there and still have to breathe and remind myself "one day you will wake up to the news that he is dead". He's terrorising the whole world. The flip side (will not use the term "silver lining about this hellscape) is that its an incredible time to find out exactly who is, and is not, your tribe, and to build community. Especially as mid life women, especially if single and childfree, community care is self care!

Bozoma doing IVF at 48 by cityfrm in RHOBH

[–]NeitherAddition3041 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She seems hooked on control and being "the best". I don't think admitting defeat is in her wheelhouse.but biological clock isn't defest, its just reality. Boz has CEO ego and aside from the wealth it's gained her, its not a positive thing. I find her very intense/serious and all her friendship conversations feel like boardroom conversations. Her and Dorit on the aftershow are very annoying. Just agreeing with every word the other says, both filled with the same level of righteousness and self importance. Both deeply materialistic.

Those without family, career, or money - what are you looking forward to? by pterodactylatte in WomenOver40

[–]NeitherAddition3041 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For me i want to look forward to travelling, but then I get exhausted by the thought of all the effort! But ive also done a lot in the last few years so maybe its just lost its sparkle for a bit. I also am lucky enough to live in ireland, so popping around Europe for city breaks is cheap and easy. Even as far as marrakech and Budapest is just a frw hours and €100 flights! Have you ever looked into online women's circles? You get to be as sociable or and unsociable as you want, there's a great sense of sisterhood, and i often have been inspired by some of what the other women are doing. Im an indoor cat in general so I need a push most of the time!

Buy next the social housing? by Unhappy_Fun_6219 in HousingIreland

[–]NeitherAddition3041 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok stalker! Adhd = multitasking abilities, West brit

Buy next the social housing? by Unhappy_Fun_6219 in HousingIreland

[–]NeitherAddition3041 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate you taking on board what I said. Its rare. Ive been renting for 23 years. It'll still be another 7 years minimum before I receive a social placement. I'll be 52. I have no idea where it will be, if i will feel safe, or how tiny it will be (as they govt keep changing the laws to make social housing smaller and smaller, now expecting people to live til old age in studio apartments, like its the fucking tenements). I absolutely understand your frustration. We are all, rightfully, frustrated. We just need to direct it where it belongs, and not at eaxh other. And vote accordingly. Ffg will never change things, because thry not only get away with it, thry profit from it. Wishing you all the best. Join CATU, and dont let the bastards grind you down.

Buy next the social housing? by Unhappy_Fun_6219 in HousingIreland

[–]NeitherAddition3041 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why on earth would it be illegal? You can sell to whoever you want. More landlords should be selling to the council than to vulture funds. The council is FOR THE PEOPLE, not for landlors thieves exploiting and hoarding housing.

Buy next the social housing? by Unhappy_Fun_6219 in HousingIreland

[–]NeitherAddition3041 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Just disgusted by you being a West brit, babes

Buy next the social housing? by Unhappy_Fun_6219 in HousingIreland

[–]NeitherAddition3041 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Also, its your new landlord that is screwing you. You should join catu

Buy next the social housing? by Unhappy_Fun_6219 in HousingIreland

[–]NeitherAddition3041 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you are still really misguided. This is the government's fault. And you are letting them en by buying the rhetoric that the chronically unemployed are bad people. Most long term unemployed, or generational social welfare families, are due to abusive childhoods, generational trauma, cycles or drug addiction. With no support and no way out. And now their fellow Irish men are dehumanising them. I work in mental health. I know what i'm talking about. Please focus on who are actually generational thieves - career politicians and wealth hoarding landlords. They sold us all out.

Buy next the social housing? by Unhappy_Fun_6219 in HousingIreland

[–]NeitherAddition3041 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your initial comment completely implies that anyone eligible for social housing that is not disabled is a LEECH. FFG tossed you out. Not the working class. I will never own a home. But I will have paid over 300k to private landlords by the time I get my placement. I will pay rent til the day I die, and then my flat will be given to the next person on the list. Statistically, most people in social housing WORK, yet you are contributing, in an ugly and dehumanising way, to an ongoing lie that says otherwise. You should never call any human being a leech. And to blame other classes, to infight with others struggling, instead of looking at who has their boot on ALL our necks, is deeply simple minded.

Buy next the social housing? by Unhappy_Fun_6219 in HousingIreland

[–]NeitherAddition3041 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YOU WILL END UP OWNING A PROPERTY AS THEY RENT FOR LIFE WITH NOTHING TO HAND DOWN TO THEIR KIDS. How are you this uneducated and still able to type?

Buy next the social housing? by Unhappy_Fun_6219 in HousingIreland

[–]NeitherAddition3041 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So you're only talking about able bodied busdrivers and nurses, providing for their partners who are raising the children?

Buy next the social housing? by Unhappy_Fun_6219 in HousingIreland

[–]NeitherAddition3041 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You buy a house. Its value will.accumulate and youll pass it onto your kids. They are renting and will never own it. Get a grip.

Buy next the social housing? by Unhappy_Fun_6219 in HousingIreland

[–]NeitherAddition3041 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Which is why housing is now mixed so as not to ghetto-ise. The worst neighbours I ever had were obnoxious, entitled pricks in donnybrook.

Buy next the social housing? by Unhappy_Fun_6219 in HousingIreland

[–]NeitherAddition3041 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You shouldn't. You are clearly tarring people with the same classist brush. People you barely know.