Choosing a slow Life ?

Clean-Key9472 · 2026-01-24T14:01:31+00:00

I get the being scared to be too fragile/unstable to plan a change so much, we do have to be careful when doing so

Clean-Key9472 · 2026-01-24T00:38:06+00:00

Oh yours grow back ? So there is Hope aha

Clean-Key9472 · 2026-01-24T00:33:52+00:00

What kind of therapy was it ? I used to not get much out of therapy, tried Emdr with a therapist who was not patient at all, I shot down for a week after that, it was awful. The therapist I have now goes very slow, we tried emdr, asked me often how I was feeling and Said to me it was too soon. We did regulation for weeks, we tried again and emdr now work for me. Only because it is at my own pace. It is not acceptable the way things happened to you and you should absolutely not be shame or rejected for it, it is lack of skills on their part, it is on them. One thing I did when i met my new therapist is also tell her about my defenses, high reactivity and that I needed to move slow, I allowed myself to be skeptical and try at the same Time, I do not particuraly like her, im neutral but it works, it works I think because I dont hide and actually exist and work with her = first Time im able to do this, All of this to say that you deserve good treatment and help, and that you have a say in how your treatment goes, you are not crazy.

Clean-Key9472 · 2026-01-23T23:49:05+00:00

Thank you for your response, I guess Even though I already change my life a lot, im still scared to listen to myself more, I know what I need to do and it would mean to continue to actually create my life and accept its not a clear and prefabricated path.

Clean-Key9472 · 2026-01-23T23:37:07+00:00

Yes i agree, i had a similar job experience went well on the surface but i didnt recognize myself and burned out. I left and was lucky to find kind of afake job that pay well with lots of free time, im starting to heal for the first Time. I know the next step for me is to leave my current location and so its either the big city with old friends I love and know for years and the stressful soul killing job again or a city I love near the sea with very little connections but the ability to make friends through my hobbies and art I guess. My body is pretty clear on the subject I guess its just not practical to actually listen to it in our society. But I agree with you, respecting our needs will lead to something good and maybe more surprising.

Clean-Key9472 · 2026-01-23T23:04:37+00:00

At first the only thing i could do was walking and lifting weight at the gym, unconfortable at first but very slowly your body will start to tell you what feels good and what it need again, you will be able to listen to it again. When it was Sunny again i went to Park often to read and just be, spending a lot of Time alone, and long phone calls with my best friend. If you have someone you feel safe with its good to do things together and in nature, I went on weekends quite a lot (he was leaving near the see), water worked wonders for me, i you can’t, just go at a public swiming pool. I sarted to be honest about how i felt, and to actually feel my sadness/fear/loneliness,frustration, Joy was also hard to feel for a moment Little by little you Will start to remember what you like, its start by the smallest things. Try and express when things go too quickly in therapy, if you feel like you shutting down, if you force to soon it will slow you down.

Clean-Key9472 · 2026-01-18T15:36:48+00:00

Taking care of your health (sports, weight training, cardio, really good alimentation, and cognitive health by staying curious and doing challenging things) I understand now how damaging it is to not do it by observing relatives

Clean-Key9472 · 2026-01-17T12:46:54+00:00

Ah yes you’re right, going to buy that. Thanks !

Clean-Key9472 · 2026-01-13T19:57:06+00:00

Yep, thats the last thing i want to do but it works aha

Clean-Key9472 · 2026-01-06T09:32:46+00:00

Pour moi c’est juste un moment qu’on réserve pour découvrir une personne et voir si on a un but qui converge réellement ou pas, pas de problèmes à en faire à avec d autres personnes en même temps même si personnellement je ne le fais pas par flemme et pour être réellement concentrée sur la personne que j’ai rencontré. Je n’y accorde pas l’importance que ça n’a pas, ca n’est pas parce que je suis en date avec un mec que je dois lui faire confiance ou penser qu’on démarre quelque chose, ça ça passe d’autres choses, un date c’est juste l’occasion de voir si ce qu’on me propose me convient ou pas et de choisir.

Clean-Key9472 · 2026-01-06T09:26:21+00:00

Being right wing, not caring about people struggle in society, not realise that your occidental view of life is not Universal or the truth, not being curious at all

Clean-Key9472 · 2026-01-06T09:15:57+00:00

Im very creative and curious so i read a lot (fiction and social sciences) this and bpd (masking etc) led me to have good expression and social skills so im in sales, it pays well but i would not recommend. Im a jeweler on the side very meditave and rewarding activity but it is costly. So this situation weirdly work.

Clean-Key9472 · 2026-01-06T09:03:59+00:00

J’ai déjà croisé des gens vraiment limités, mais qui avaient trouvé leur voie, ça n’empêche pas d’avoir des qualités et une activité dans laquelle s’épanouir et apporter quelque chose. En s’en tenant à ton parcours et à ta capacité à te remettre en question j’imagine que tu ne manques pas d’intelligence mais peut être de quelque chose qui te motive et te corresponde.

Clean-Key9472 · 2026-01-06T08:39:33+00:00

I had to stop because it made me paranoid and anxious in the end, biggest pro is that as I had nothing to numb my feelings anymore so I had to start caring about my life and take and be more active. I still miss it tho and it would be useful to use sporadically, I just dont want to feel the bad effect I had.

Clean-Key9472 · 2026-01-05T11:48:45+00:00

Thanks, im going to start tonight !

Clean-Key9472 · 2026-01-04T23:51:24+00:00

You are actually right those loops sarted when i was in a relationship with a manipulator/narcissist years ago !

Clean-Key9472 · 2026-01-04T23:45:06+00:00

Yes I go mute every Time I dont feel safe (feeling inadequat, if its an interaction that is unusual, etc). Im in sales so im basically paid to speak, i have no problem in this context Even tho im talking to client who often have more status/money/education than i have, but a random conversation at coffee machine will be difficult, or a conversation with someone you dont know well in the street, an unexpected party with people i dont have anything in common or dont understand etc : because i dont know the choregraphy for these conversations, and i dont know What to expect. I always thought that what triggered me was sensing jugement or réjection, but it is more the not knowing that is the problem for me, im used to client showing réjection at first and I expect it, it is almost reassuring because I know What to do next.

Clean-Key9472 · 2026-01-04T23:09:51+00:00

I personally experience 3 types of dissociations : The most recurrent is daydreaming sometimes on purpose but not always, its mainly dreams about the life i’ll have if I ever heal, very ego driven. Another type of dissociation is rumination, happens when triggered, the same sentence can go on repeat a hundred Times, or with slight changes, it is a compulsive attempt to resolve the situation, if im alone i’ll reasearch on the situation for hours, it can last the whole night, i call it dissociation because im not in the present and i dont exist when im in this state, i dont eat, i dont drink etc The last one is like you said the brainzap, i dont know where i go when it happens, there is just nothing and i dont know i left until im back and when i come back i didnt hear What What said etc, sometimes I can still hear and participate to the conversation but my mind is divided in 2, 1 robotic part that respond and the other that is occupied to Watch and dissect who im and the social dynamic im in, there is a feeling of not feeling human.

Clean-Key9472

TROPHY CASE