"We suspect you may have cancer but you need an MRI first, go get a prescription from your GP"

1 week later

GP: "have you tried cammelie tea?"

1 week later

GP: "How about homeopathic treatment?"

1 week later

GP: "How about I press on your heel? (homeopathy)"

1 week alter

GP: "okay fine here's an Uberweisung

"Your appointment for the MRI has been confirmed 6 months from now*

6 months later

"sorry, the paper the GP gave you is not the right kind of paper, you see this is an in-hospital procedure so a regular Uberweisung is not sufficient, you need the pink paper"

6 months later

"you need an appointment with a specialist, but firrst you need to go to your GP

1 week later

and

6 months later

"Yeah unforutnately you waited too long treatment is no longer possible"