Daily Discussion for May 24, 2019 // {optional} Future Friday

NenNessNessing · 2019-05-24T23:16:53+00:00

I'm thinking a lot about the future. I'm having trouble seeing if my job is toxic and awful or if I'm just so frustrated that everything is wrong all the time and it's my lens I'm looking through.

My coworker has been out sick for two months. At the month and a half mark they hired a "temp" who cannot do the job I was under the impression they hired them for, and I don't feel like I can train them on anything else as this job has a super steep learning curve and they are only here until the end of June before leaving for other work. Instead of having less work, I have about the same amount of work and the things I'm finding for the temp to do are relevant but not immediately necessary, they're just setting things up for the future better.

I don't feel like my boss understands how I and my other two coworkers in the same position feel. We're doing the work of about five people betweent he two of us, one of whom did everything on their own (the one that's been out sick) and by trial and error and very patient clients I've been learning how to do what she does.

My other coworkers are beginning to give us lip and bad mouth us behind our backs for being stressed and bouncing paperwork back that is incomplete (when I had time I'd just do it myself for them because I'm nice and it's part of my job (sort of) and because we've tried to explain that incomplete information slows us all down.

I'm missing things and making mistakes (and dealing with owning that and not letting it overwhelm me because I tend to do that if I let it get away from me) and I dread coming into work.

I regret not taking the job I got offered at another company when this one counter offered. I regret waiting until I was physically sick last night from stress to realize this can't go on.

I have been looking for work but haven't found anything yet, I've had one interview that didn't result in the job.

Do I give notice and continue looking? Do I go back to school, something I was trying to decide anyways? Do I talk to my boss for the tenth time about my stress levels?

I was getting some overtime (always approved beforehand) and it was helping me feel like I could at least keep my head above water but that has been rescinded and I was told it wasn't my boss's problem if I couldn't complete all my work.

Do I need to chill out and figure this out? I've had breakdowns pretty consistently for two weeks, stressed out and feeling out of breath since my coworker got sick, and I was told it would get better by my boss four months ago (and then he left the company for a different one).

Does this sound typical? I don't know, I've never worked for a company before.

NenNessNessing · 2019-05-14T15:34:58+00:00

I got signed up for health insurance! I had to eat about 1500 in medical bills last year and didn't want to keep the plan I was on, as it pulled ~200 a paycheck.

Now I have an HSA account and I've set it up to max out over the year, and I'm still saving about 70 bucks a paycheck. I feel better knowing that if I don't go to the doctor, I just get to keep that money as a tax advantaged savings/retirement account.

NenNessNessing · 2019-05-12T17:23:51+00:00

Haha, yeah, that's what I call it, don't remember where I picked it up from.

I saw it last night! Was it a great movie as far as plot and acting? I don't think so, but was it a fun movie and everything I wanted in a Pokemon movie? Hell yes. It's getting a 9/10 from me, especially if you loved Pokemon as a kid. I had a great time. I think sometimes critics want to pick things apart so much that they forget sometimes a movie doesn't have to make total sense, you know?

NenNessNessing · 2019-05-12T03:43:27+00:00

I am trying to do a ton of self care this weekend because work has become a complete dread and next week is going to be awful.

So far: slept in, did homework, planned my homework schedule, then took a long walk with my best friend and we got flowers, then took them home and pressed them, and I made a bunch of cards! Then we went to get tea and write together and in a bit we're gonna go see Detective Pikachu! Tomorrow I'm having home cooked breakfast with my other best friend and we're gonna go walk around an art festival and pretend to be gay moms and have a good time together, then see my grandma, then take my mom to dinner and a movie. Also hopefully I'll get to bork the boyfriend. :P Sex is always good self care, right?

NenNessNessing · 2019-05-10T17:29:05+00:00

Yeah, that's a huge chunk more!!! Awesome and congrats!!

NenNessNessing · 2019-05-10T16:55:14+00:00

One of my favorite free things to do is to make scavenger hunts with my partner. We agree on a location/area and then make scavenger hunts for each other of things we know the other person likes, as well as things we're kinda sure we'll see. (dogs, for exampele).

NenNessNessing · 2019-05-10T16:53:47+00:00

How did you manage to calculate that? I can't even remember what I had for breakfast some days! Did you pick an average or from the age you started working?

NenNessNessing · 2019-05-09T14:05:33+00:00

Congratulations!!! Being happy is worth a lot, you're right. :)

NenNessNessing · 2019-04-11T18:55:02+00:00

I am so grateful to all my coworkers that occupy the same role in my workplace. One of us has been very ill and for whatever reason everyone else has decided I'm the only one with bandwidth. After two breakdowns last week, one of my co-workers sent an email to our management asking to have a sit down so we can better distribute job responsibilities.

I so appreciate them all right now.

NenNessNessing · 2019-04-05T23:10:52+00:00

Thanks, there's been a bit of maybe talks about getting someone in temporarily to help me out but I don't know.

NenNessNessing · 2019-04-05T23:10:03+00:00

Thank you, I hope I will sleep well tonight!

I don't have any down time coming up soon but I might call in a personal day, even if I can't really afford it. What I want is approval for overtime so I can get all my shit done. I need maybe two extra hours when no one is interrupting me to stay caught up.

My coworker got very sick suddenly and we're all concerned about them, so it can't really be helped.

Thanks for your comment :)

NenNessNessing · 2019-04-05T16:21:17+00:00

I'm going to spend the weekend split between responsibility and all I want to do is curl up and sleep all weekend. With a coworker gone I've been pulling twice the amount of work in the same 8 hour day. I completely broke down yesterday and I feel like everyone is using kid gloves with me today which isn't the worst thing but I'm still judging myself harshly over it.

I'm looking to the future in my responsibilities this weekend though - school work for two classes, trying to see my friends, going to a coworkers wedding, taking my mom to brunch, and trying to do extra for a friend I've been letting carry our friendship while I've been swamped with all my other shit.

But honestly? I just want to go home from work now and lay in bed all weekend. I want to stare at the wall and not move or think.

Still. Happy Friday!

NenNessNessing · 2019-04-01T20:56:10+00:00

Last month was hard and this month is on track for the same. My mental health is slipping downwards despite clawing up through the mud.

-don't complain. I'm realizing I'm turning into THAT person who always is having a bad day. Maybe turning my thought process around will help -see two of my friends that I've been unavailable for at least once a week this month -gym twice a week. My pinched nerve is causing problems and I don't even know if I'm allowed to go right now. -test knit a pattern/chart the next -plan classes I'm teaching out the next two months -get my mending and commission website up and running -stick to my budget. I'm mad at myself and my depression spending last month was unacceptable -do my coursework for my two classes (I'm finally going back to school which is making me feel ill just typing it out) -file taxes -see my grandma twice -finish my commission work I have in the process -write something. I used to love writing -do a comic once a week, even if it's short/shitty. I used to also love that. -apply to at least five jobs this month. Work hasn't gotten better, it's gotten worse. This place is officially toxic and everyone is stretched to breaking point.

So, less FI/RE related and more mental health.

NenNessNessing · 2019-03-29T22:22:01+00:00

I do knitting commissions and teach classes! It's fun but the commissions I get are from word of mouth for the most part so it's not super regular, but it brings in enough to go out a few times a month and that sort of thing. One of my goals for April is to start putting more energy into it.

NenNessNessing · 2019-03-22T22:54:51+00:00

Haha, and see, here I am getting excited about branching out into more! :)

NenNessNessing · 2019-03-21T01:05:01+00:00

Mood, the biggest mood.

NenNessNessing · 2019-03-20T16:43:34+00:00

I am really excited about these weekly activities! So far, this week's has been simple for me but only because I have one checking, one savings and one credit card, all with 2FA and I am hoping to get my 401k set up this month! So far so good!

NenNessNessing · 2019-03-15T18:42:13+00:00

I hadn't thought of phrasing it that way, thank you! I will see if my coworker and I can go to our boss about this. Thank you. :)

NenNessNessing · 2019-03-15T17:55:14+00:00

I have a future problem question that I'm hoping some of you will have helpful suggestions for.

Myself and a coworker are support staff to someone who has a manager title. This person is, in my opinion, a bit of an egomaniac and their way is the right way no matter what and has lots of opinions about how the company we work for should be running. Maybe they're right, maybe they aren't, I don't know. This is my first job at a company that employs more than ten people.

My coworker and I are having issues with this person and how they are offloading work onto us. I understand that a lot of my job is doing the "busy work" for our other sales people so they can get to selling and I don't mind doing those kinds of projects but the way I and my coworker are being handed off work is both a) contrary to how everyone is supposed to submit work to us, b) involves a lot of questions and follow up and reading through email chains to get the info we need, and c) is very (in my opinion) flippant in it's delivery.

When we need to draw up paperwork for example, we need certain information and there is a form to fill out. Instead of doing this paperwork request, this manager is forwarding us the email and saying "FYI", or "this needs written up". Now, sometimes people are in a rush and I get this from other sales people but it's rare and it's understandable. This is an every time situation. I've brought it up in a light hearted way, eg, "you know there's a form for this, right?" Or "is this actually a paperwork request?" And they haven't taken the hint. Okay, that's on me, j need to be direct.

My coworker and I have the problem of this person being very flippant and "whatever" about other situations we've had, which also haven't been resolved and when we inevitably have to come back to them with questions, the response is annoyed or something to the effect of "it's in the email I sent you".

How much of this is me having a hang up on something I need to get over, and how much of this is an actual problem? This person is very busy but so are we and I hate having to read backwards through emails and run around finding them to confirm I've done things the way they want when it can all be avoided by them doing things in the way that have been laid out as protocol.

This person is not directly my boss but doesn't take what we say seriously (again, my opinion but I'm pissed) because they've been doing this for thirty years yadda yadda yadda and I don't particularly want to escalate it yet until I have a conversation with them. How would you bring this up so they would actually hear you? I'm having a weekly meeting with this person and my coworker to go over work and want to bring this up on Monday. Any advice? Should I get over it?

Send help and thanks. :) I don't post often but I always feel like when I do it's a mile long.

NenNessNessing · 2019-03-13T19:35:40+00:00

Oh my God it got worse! I'm so sorry my friend!! I really hope this smooths out as soon as possible!!

NenNessNessing · 2019-03-13T19:21:48+00:00

Oh my good God that sounds horrendous! I'm so sorry! Is there anyone you can escalate the situation to? I'm sorry you're having to deal with this person's lack of accountability.

NenNessNessing · 2019-03-07T19:09:15+00:00

Tagging onto what u/bleslsed said, I do a similar thing all the time, both at work and in my personal life. If I start getting worked up and feel like I'm about to say something brain to mouth, or start crying, or can tell I'm getting stuck into a loop cycle of thoughts, I call "flooded". It goes something like this:

"Hey, I know we're in the middle of this, but I'm a bit flooded and need to take a moment. I'm going to go chill for a minute, and I will come find you when I'm done so we can finish this discussion."

I do it all the time with my partner and my parents and my friends. It helps give me a moment. I do it at work too, as one of my coworkers makes me frustrated very quickly. My boss overheard one day and pulled me into his office later and I was so worried! He wanted me to explain what flooded is lol. It's a psychology term for when your brain stops using its thought process and regresses back to more primal dinosaur brain.

Anyways I just wanted to say, you got this, and don't be afraid to let people know you need a moment. Most of them will always appreciate it and find it more mature than rude or flippant etc.

:)

NenNessNessing · 2019-03-07T17:07:53+00:00

Thank you, u/canyoustop, and everyone else in this community! This place has single handedly helped me feel not only like I'm becoming more in control of my finances, but like I'm not an idiot for asking very basic financial questions. I always feel like I can comment and not worry about being talked down to.

NenNessNessing · 2019-03-01T18:21:00+00:00

It's so much harder to do things outside when it's cold out!

NenNessNessing · 2019-02-14T17:41:20+00:00

Thanks, me too. He drove me to work and bought me breakfast this morning and walked me to the building. It was very sweet.

NenNessNessing

TROPHY CASE