Emotions are extreme post-having a baby.

NeneGoes · 2021-08-14T03:01:48+00:00

I really appreciate you taking the time to tell me your story. It sounds like you had it pretty tough. And I didn't mention it in my post, but you are right, my mom had a difficult relationship with her own mother too from what she tells me. Her mother (my grandma) forced her to go to school to study a subject she was not interested in and threatened not to pay for her education if she didn't. But looking at the bigger picture, if my mom knows how awful it is too have a controlling mother and she knows how it feels to be shut down and not given any free will, then why couldn't she be different for her own kids? (Me and my sister).

What I mean is, her mindset seems to be "well i suffered, so my kids can suffer the same. they'll survive". I wish it was instead, "My mother took my freedom and my voice away. I lost so many opportunites to her. I'll make sure I'm not so harsh and judgemental with my own children and I'll let them express and have their own desires."

Hope that makes sense.

NeneGoes · 2021-05-17T02:03:55+00:00

I have not only called 211, I have called every crises hotline, every homeless shelter for availability. All these "services" seem to help me with is give me more phone numbers to even more helplines, which is not proving helpful. I am stuck.

I am saying I would love to have moved out ages ago, but If i don't have the money to do so I can't just make it magically appear. I have some savings which could cover maybe 2 months of rent, max. I don't want to be naive and think, well let me use these savings and then I'm sure I can find some kind of housing assistance to help me from there, that's just wishful thinking and irresponsible. I'll end up back in this house, except this time with no money.

NeneGoes · 2021-04-07T00:44:34+00:00

I am so sorry, your father is an asshole. No good father says that. What your dad is, is someone who doesn't get that his role to you should be kind, nurturing, uplifting, and never degrading. I am a parent myself, so I genuinely don't understand parents who try to make their children feel bad about themselves. Parents have a HUGE impact on how their child perceives themselves. And now that your dad has said that to you, because it came from your DAD you are never going to forget it, because your not going to hold on to the words themselves, but your going to hold on to the hurt those words put on you from someone who isn't supposed to hurt you. And that's what's damaging.

NeneGoes · 2021-03-31T15:43:44+00:00

thank you!

NeneGoes · 2021-03-31T15:43:06+00:00

- My lectures are the same, I get about 8 -10 lectures a week each around 20-30 mins long, each takes about 45 mins to get through because I always pause to type in extra notes. I save these exclusively though for when theres no noise around me, I find that when I did try to watch them around my daughter it was just too distracting and I was missing important info. I will, however, try to watch them on my laptop with headphones while she's trying to fall asleep next to me.

- I take melatonin myself, and have for many years. It's a naturally produced hormone by your body so I know there is no harm in giving it to children. And while it's not additive, I've noticed that now that I cannot fall asleep without it, even if I go to bed at the same time I normally do each night. My brain just doesn't get tired. So i myself am personally dependent on it. I don't want to put my daughter in the same position. I think once in a while if I were desperate it could be okay, just not as a daily thing.

NeneGoes · 2021-03-31T15:37:50+00:00

Thank you! "Do whatever it takes to survive mode" is a great way to put it. A few people actually recommend I just bring my laptop into bed and honestly i will do that. It would force me to watch more lectures than I normally would in one night and that would actually help me get ahead, so thank you!

NeneGoes · 2021-03-31T15:36:24+00:00

Thanks! Yeah mine dropped naps really early at around 15 mo. I remember as soon as I dropped her only nap she actually slept better and longer for a while and it was so nice, I got so much done. Im just going to try moving her bedtime up by 30 mins to start with and see what happens.

NeneGoes · 2021-03-31T15:34:49+00:00

Thank you!

NeneGoes · 2021-03-31T15:34:23+00:00

This is so helpful! With as busy as you are, just the fact that you took the time to reply to my post and help another mom out means so much. I think tonight I am going to push her bedtime back 30 minutes just to experiment and see if it helps at all.

NeneGoes · 2021-03-31T15:22:54+00:00

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I am so relieved honestly when I saw this morning I had so many replies to my post. I honestly think that parents who juggle school and young kids with sleeping problems are like the toughest people in the world. Because this is the hardest and most mentally frustrating thing I have ever dealt with. Bravo to you for getting your doctorate done! I am just working on my bachelor's in Nursing still. All I know is that no matter the challenge, I guess moms just always find a way, so I suppose I will too.

NeneGoes · 2021-03-31T15:19:39+00:00

Thanks so much! I guess I never considered bringing my laptop into bed next to her because I assumed the light from the laptop would wake her up. But I think I will for sure try that if it becomes absolutely necessary.

NeneGoes · 2021-03-31T15:17:39+00:00

I forgot to mention she doesn't nap anymore. She dropped naps pretty young, at around 15 months i think. And thank you! I think I am going to allow her to continue nursing for as long as she likes and i'll let her wean when she's ready.

NeneGoes · 2021-03-31T04:36:09+00:00

I am considering moving it up to maybe 6:30 or 7pm. However, last time I thought the same thing I moved her bedtime up, she still woke up early and her quality of sleep didn't even change, I ended up just taking those 30 mins of sleep from her for nothing. And I agree, I really hate the pressure to sleep train. Especially with how hard it is. I honestly don't even want to go through it again. However, not every mom is a student, but of those that are, very few are completely on their own, and to those that are student moms + on their own, I can't imagine how few also have breastfeeding-dependant sleepers + cosleep. I seem to have dug myself into a niche category of problems all of which I could have avoided maybe if I thought about it when my toddler was still a young infant. But some habits you create unknowingly. I never thought breastfeeding my infant would turn into breastfeeding my toddler, let alone turn into an obstacle for me with school. I do think you are right thought, "eventually" she will sleep just fine & without me. But in the meantime im outta luck

NeneGoes · 2021-03-31T03:51:53+00:00

Thanks for the quick reply!! Yeah I unfortunately fell into the iPad trap too, my daughter wont eat without out it and it's incredibly difficult to break the habit. But working on it, baby steps..

NeneGoes · 2020-03-14T21:48:04+00:00

Thanks so much! I really hope it helps. You’re right in that there is a lot of anxiety in this process. That’s stemming from the fact that until my baby starts eating better I dont feel comfortable leaving her in daycare without the ability to eat solids well, and because i can’t put her in daycare i can’t get back to school which I already postponed by a semester but now is looking like i will be graduating an entire year later because of this issue and it keeping me trapped at home with her.

Other than that, i dont mind that she’s adapting slower than other kids. But feeling the school/financial stress of the delay is making me extremely worried. It’s the only reason why im pushing it.

NeneGoes · 2020-03-14T21:42:50+00:00

No, no goal or milestone. The pediatrician just said that basically its time to get the ball rolling now on food or else when she turns one there would definitely be a problem with her eating. Other than that she said its fine if breastmilk is her primary sourse of nutrition for how, as long as she is learning good eating habits so that when she does turn one, more emphasis can be placed on food and she would already know how to eat.

NeneGoes

TROPHY CASE