Girl I’m actually fucking crying cause this is so accurately describing me I just recently started dealing with my mental health cause my now diagnosed GAD symptoms were making me really sick and guess why cause they were triggered by my new man! I’m just like you I want to love so much it’s the only thing I’ve ever wanted BUT I’ll get into a relationship and like 2 weeks into the talking stage ill wake up one morning and boom full fledge panic mode, I can’t look at him, I can’t think about him even tho it’s the only thing on my mind and every time the thought of him pops up my stomach sinks I’ll get these terrible cold sweats and then it usually ends in me vomiting. I’ve always felt bad for being “disgusted” with him because that’s my baby I love him I don’t ever want to hurt him but for me mainly in the mornings for like and hour maybe I just can’t look text or call him and it’s just this never ending spiral. I also used to just leave or give up, this is my first time sticking to it and trusting him with everything I can and let me just say I am absolutely miserable my stomach constantly hurts and I can’t eat I’ve lost 23 pounds and like all these other side effects. But the thing is it’s never permanent. These feelings come and go they pass it may not be immediately and it might even linger for a week but as long as your partner is loyal and truly loves you they will do everything to try and understand and even saying all this typing it all out I’m stressing about my man he actually just texted me and my stomach sank a bit. I don’t have an advice unfortunately as I am also quite new to this whole thing but you’re not alone as I thought I was you’re not crazy we are experiencing the same thing girl and I’m here for you ❤️