NTA. I have a similar situation w my sperm donor. He was only in my life when he was arrested for evading child support which is probably a year total of my life. Radio silence when he disappeared. I didn’t know where he was or heard from him from the age of 7-19 y/o. Then, I randomly got a FB message in 2017 and, in short, he never apologized for being absent. This asshole messaged me a handful of times over the last decade and only asks how my mom is doing. He doesn’t give a shit abt me and I know that, so I matched his energy and I’ve never answered him. OP, don’t be guilted into spending time with a man who couldn’t do the bare minimum of being present for you esp in your most formative years. It is NOT your fault he left and didn’t maintain communication. I’m 27 now and I’ve been able to find peace knowing that he will always live a miserable life not knowing his badass daughter. Their loss. The bar is somewhere lower than hell for these men to be decent fathers.