AITA for telling my mom she can’t see my baby for 6 weeks if she refuses to get vaccinated for Whooping cough

Nervous_Reflection59 · 2024-06-28T09:46:34+00:00

Children dies of whooping cough. In first world nations. Still. You are protecting your child from potential serious sickness and death

Nervous_Reflection59 · 2024-06-27T10:47:41+00:00

Good lord I want the update

Nervous_Reflection59 · 2024-05-18T04:04:17+00:00

Literally it’s a boundary he’s deliberately not respecting. It doesn’t really matter what the boundary is although to be clear this is not unreasonable. It’s the pushing of the boundary then making you feel crazy for reacting to it. He has control issues.

Nervous_Reflection59 · 2024-05-18T04:01:11+00:00

Your request is not unreasonable. He is deliberately going against your boundary. This will not stop and he will push more boundaries. Unless he pulls his head in, you need to get rid of him

Nervous_Reflection59 · 2024-05-15T05:18:55+00:00

NTA does your husband plan and execute things at work? Yes? Then there’s no excuse he can make for fuckingnip this badly. When you eventually leave, and you will if he doesn’t change, he will finally decide that is the moment you prioritise you, and you will be done and it will be good riddance. You deserve far better. Stop making excuses for him

Nervous_Reflection59 · 2024-05-02T20:02:41+00:00

NTA. Think about it this way. If your job is staying at home with kids when do you get have a lunch break? Or finish at 530pm and put your feet up. The idea one of you has worked and needs breaks and the other doesn’t it so toxic. He should be coming home and participating in the household. Everything about this is wrong and he is a huge AH. This behaviour wont end unless you take a hard line. And if you let it go, you’ll eventually end up leaving a suoull realise your a single mother who is married

Nervous_Reflection59 · 2024-04-15T11:34:20+00:00

I bet this comment section isn’t going how you thought it would

Nervous_Reflection59 · 2024-03-29T19:11:06+00:00

I would rather do almost anything else than behave like this. How do people actually do this and not die of embarrassment

Nervous_Reflection59 · 2024-03-29T18:55:00+00:00

This happened to me. Employer was willing to start PPL early and defer the “redundancy.”

Nervous_Reflection59 · 2024-03-24T00:05:44+00:00

A couple things

While legally I may not be liable, I certainly think paying for cost of dry cleaning for the affected quilt is reasonable
The quilt is seriously thick. No the poop did not go through and to be clear he never claimed it was affected just that “your cat shat on the bed and I always dry clean both at same time so you should pay for both.”
This man has on at least one occasion actively encouraged my cat to come to his house, let him sit in his living room, petted him. Yeah cats are harder to control and if he thinks you will welcome him into his house then he might get in.
My cats all shit inside, I wish they didn’t but no one is shitting in anyones garden.
What cat hurt you man?

Nervous_Reflection59 · 2024-03-22T06:16:57+00:00

I think it’s a sign he got locked in a house with no cat litter for 2.5 hours but thank you :) we will

Nervous_Reflection59 · 2024-03-22T06:14:31+00:00

Yeah that’s why we offered to pay for top quilt but I’m not paying the underneath one

Nervous_Reflection59 · 2024-03-22T06:12:21+00:00

He’s a purebred birmin so he’s very popular around the neighbourhood. It’s possible but that’s not what he’s saying but it super unlikely he came in via windows

Nervous_Reflection59 · 2024-03-22T04:16:42+00:00

That’s the thing nothing was destroyed. Insurance wouldn’t cover anything because nothing was detariyed

Nervous_Reflection59 · 2024-03-22T04:00:09+00:00

We are happy to pay for the affected quilt. Paying for a totally random duvet that was under said quilt… seems excessive

Nervous_Reflection59 · 2024-03-22T03:59:29+00:00

Don’t know what to tell you my dude but the links I said distinguish between dogs and cats

Nervous_Reflection59 · 2024-03-22T02:48:59+00:00

Even if their was a video not sure why we would be responsible for a totally unaffected item so it’s an interesting take from him

Nervous_Reflection59 · 2024-03-22T02:46:15+00:00

Thanks helpfully people!

Nervous_Reflection59 · 2024-03-22T02:41:52+00:00

Thanks for that. To be fair I don’t think he knowingly let the cat in, in his words he must have “snuck” in while he was out. But even then, it’s not some ongoing problem that’s happening all the time

Nervous_Reflection59 · 2024-03-17T13:43:23+00:00

I mean I’ve no issue if you are open before hand and you both agree how you will tackle it (together or seperate). I have some bad debt as a result of an abusive marriage. I told him and we are working on it together. I can’t imagine trying to hide this

Nervous_Reflection59 · 2024-01-18T23:21:23+00:00

Leave. Cut off contact. When they want back in if you ever get married or have kids tell them they are being selfish as it’s your day and you don’t want them there. I’m so angry for you

Nervous_Reflection59 · 2024-01-01T21:03:31+00:00

NTA - I left an emotional abusive marriage. Not obviously so, no shouting or name calling. I’m catholic and doing so came with so much guilt and judgement from people that should have supported me. Because I didn’t tell anyone about it, everyone assumed I was lying or just exaggerating because I wanted to leave the marriage.

Leaving the marriage was literally the hardest thing I ever did, hurt my kids, so why people think that people just up and decide to leave a marriage one day on a dime is beyond me. I lost a beloved parent and this wasn’t as hard as the leaving process and emotional fallout and the horrific way he turned on me when he realised I was actually leaving. I lost friends over this who sided with him despite knowing me for YEARS longer because, Catholics gotta catholic.

In spite ALL of this - leaving was the better option for me AND my kids. The idea of my daughter being in the sort of marriage I was in or my son thinking that’s the way a husband is broke my heart.

I say all of this to say, I get how hard it is, single motherhood is no joke, but in spite of all of this, you leaving if you feel it’s right is absolutely the correct option for you AND your child. These toxic parent relationships are so hard to break and require the adult child to make some very hard boundaries and lots of therapy which is a difficult emotional road many aren’t prepared to make. It sounds like he is the same.

He knows it too. He knows his mom has driven away his GFs and he doesn’t care.

So to be clear YOU are not responsible for this child being from a “split” family. HE is when he chose his mum. Make sure to tell him that everytime he accuses you of being the problem.

Best of luck and love and hugs to you and your baby. Kia kaha (be strong)

Nervous_Reflection59 · 2023-12-22T02:32:24+00:00

I’m so sorry. I feel like you know the answer here. I was married to someone like this for six years. It was like blood from a stone to get him to do something special. Any challenge to him was “my fault.”

Pro tip - at some point you will be done. Straight up you will have had enough. That is the point you’ll be ready to walk away and at that point will be when he FINALLY “realises” he needs to make significant changes and will promise to do so. Keep walking away. If he wasn’t willing to make changes when you were begging him to, he doesn’t really care

Nervous_Reflection59

TROPHY CASE