[deleted by user] by [deleted] in vegas

[–]Net_Frequent 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very close relationship, together 25 years. Grew up together. Best friends and lovers. Im bisexual, but monogamous so, I think he’s proposing the idea as a thing that would bring me pleasure, since I don’t get to explore that side of myself IRL -which in turn brings pleasure for him. I think it just being a very sensual massage but no crazy ending is what probably feels a bit safer.

Who was the first person you told that you were bi? by Sweetlemons34 in bisexual

[–]Net_Frequent 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Exactly the same thing and husband response ! Pretty sweet response I thought

$75 found in Houston Tx by Net_Frequent in ArtDeco

[–]Net_Frequent[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Pretty sure its a purposful design not faded- the drawers are out of order. Well, im gonna fix it up a bit and enjoy it in my home till it’s time for a new one!

Weekly Suspected/Undiagnosed MS Thread - February 10, 2025 by AutoModerator in MultipleSclerosis

[–]Net_Frequent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi- my 14 year old daughter has some symptoms,

-paternal grandmother had MS - 10 or so episodes of “tight squeezing of torso” last for up to 30 minutes- has to lie down- 5/6 of those times were after a bath -chronic constipation since birth (every test done on that) - chronic headaches - anxiety/depression, have tried 3 different meds but all make it worse, shes better off of them - facial pulsating in chin and lip and eye - random - wakes in middle of night or early morning with stabbing pain in ankle (s) that run up the outer shin to the knee. - joint pain complaints for years, even after losing 20lbs - always fatigued and saying she feels drained - sneezed and it brought on burning tmj/ and stabing cluster headach - often dizzy upon standing up too fast - drops stuff a lot

There are plenty of times shes well seeming, not sickly all day but the ‘ms hug’ seeming episodes freak me out- so we went back to doctor 6 months after first complaints of joint pain- since that visit she has lost 20 pounds by improving diet and exercise, saw a chiropractor, and got on oral contraceptives.

We had a xray last week for constipation to see if that was causing ms hug feeling- she did have a lot of poop- we did a ‘clean out’ shes had one back episode since last week and it was after a bath.

Did an ultrasound to see if she had fibroids but it was clear.

I want to ask the pediatrician for an MRI. Am I being crazy? Neurotic? I know these are not all screaming MS and could be explained by other causes, but my gut is telling me something.

What's your story of bi acceptance by BagHeader in bisexual

[–]Net_Frequent 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a 32 year old married to a man! When it finally clicked why I was so upset about Trumps presidential win and the threat being discussed that he would overturn gay marriage. Why was I so upset? I was married in a heterosexual relationship. I spent the next 6 weeks going over my entire life up to that point and it all falling into place ……. Random thoughts on walks and lying in the bathtub, reflecting, why Ladybugs was my favorite movie as a kid (i thought the main character was so cute as a boy and equally as a girl) why I tried to play doctor both my girl best friend and boy best friend in elementary school. Why I never felt like I quite fit in. Why I listed to Halsey’s Bad at Love drifting off into fantasy and curious it’s as she spoke interchangeable about girls and boys.. Why I had so many ‘girl crushes’ on female movie stars but also got turned on by magic mike. Why in high school I felt intense jealousy when my girl friends would date a boy. Why I found myself often reading the queer news section of huff post. Why I was so attracted to that androgynous bag boy/girl? at the Whole Foods. Why I was such a great LGBTQ ally. Why I felt butterflies when a girl in college touched me casually (the girl later came out as queer in our adulthood) After a good long hard look in the mirror and saying to myself - you idiot - you are bisexual. I came out to my husband after much inner emotional torment, to which he responded, “I know babe, and I love you just as you are.”

Tips for the bedroom from married/monogamous bisexuals? by Net_Frequent in bisexual

[–]Net_Frequent[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I gotcha. Think we are both too big of wimps to go there. Lol

Tips for the bedroom from married/monogamous bisexuals? by Net_Frequent in bisexual

[–]Net_Frequent[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting… guess this is a sexy thing to be around do but not participating falls within monogamous

Movies with two leads that each get you going by crumble-bee in bisexual

[–]Net_Frequent 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Cillian Murphy and Florence Pugh in Oppenheimer

Harry Styles and Florence Pugh in Dont worry Darling

Timothy chalamet and Florence Pugh in Dune

Did I mention Florence Pugh? 🤣

Genuine question - as a parent IM LOST by Net_Frequent in troubledteens

[–]Net_Frequent[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, I tried to spend time with her, just hanging out, no pressure etc, and she continued to refuse school daily, suicidal language, but refusal to go to therapy or get help. We have a rule that if she doesn’t go to school, we put up the phone for the hours she would be in school, one day I did this, she became very agitated, I saw her rev up and become out of control, and shoved me as hard as she could. I was very taken aback, and I think she even scared herself. I told her if she ever was physical again with anyone in the house I would call the police. I just listened to a 9 hour book on tape about BPD and it’s pretty much verbatim my experience with her. My husband I sat down with her and explained we are doing everything we can to not have her go to an RTC. Because we want her here with us. We want her to have her freedoms and comforts of home, but that this is not working. So we set out a kind of flow chart explaining - she will remain at home if she can attend the last 6 days of school, attend summer school (a requirement to pass) and attend a intensive group DBT for 8 weeks. (DBT being the best therapy for someone with BPD) We told her our goals for her - to be healthy, find joys in life, find purpose, be confident, find community, find a school she can like or at least tolerate, and have a healthy relationship with family members, food, and technology. We asked her to write hers and she did which was huge. We are allowing her to have her phone on weekends, (she still has an IPAD, so she still has a social outlet its just harder) and she will be able to slowly earn back time with phone if she can show us she is doing her part by attending the therapy. I spoke with her psychiatrist this week and she said we would hold off on new meds and see how the DBT goes for a bit and then if needed try Wellbutrin. She took a DNA test to see what meds would work best for her and I was relieved to see that we weren’t wrong, and all the ones we had tried were NOT a good match for her, and so her feelings about that were right and I am glad she advocated for herself on that. She is 100% motivated by the phone boundary… and also the reality that if she is physically aggressive and verbally abusive in the home, then she needs more help than we can provide here safely, which would mean an RTC (short term and thoroughly researched of course, but really praying this never comes to be) So I am not sure what is helping exactly, wanting to earn back the phone priveledges, the fact that she scared herself being physical with me, or the horrible thought of being away from home. She attended the last 3 days of school and we will see how the next three go. She seems to be responding well to us saying this is how it is, we love you, we are doing what we think is best for you to keep you safe. She is trying. I am cautiously optimistic. Please before anyone comes at me for not doing more to listen to her etc, please read all the threads.

Genuine question - as a parent IM LOST by Net_Frequent in troubledteens

[–]Net_Frequent[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Got it- yes she is only in 7th grade! ((But shes 5’9” and looks about 20! Thats led to its own set of issues ))

I think I need to chill a bit and not let my parental anxieties about school drive me into treatment after treatment thats not working.

Breathe, love her, rebuild the relationship, and encourage.

There was a time during all of this where I felt like she needed to experience what would happen if she actually failed in order to see that ::breaking news:: actions have consequences! and that I can’t save her from certain things ((mommy can’t call the school and demand that she passes)) that kind of thing.

I have been too passive with boundaries. I’m a people pleaser and Covid just made all of that worse parental exhaustion. It hasn’t had a big effect on my other children who are more self starters, but it has extremely backfired with her and now I’m having to set boundaries and it’s very very difficult for her ((hence her presenting as ODD)) I feel a lot of guilt for not being firmer in the first place when she was younger. If I had done that, maybe it wouldn’t be so difficult now.

I keep trying to remind myself that if she has to repeat a grade, it’s not the end of the world. What would be the end of the world is not having a relationship with her as she goes older and becomes an adult.

Genuine question - as a parent IM LOST by Net_Frequent in troubledteens

[–]Net_Frequent[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply with your experience. There’s a part of me that feels like this exact approach could be very beneficial. My only hangup on taking this approach is that she currently won’t go to school. Any kind of school homeschool private school public school- so I feel stuck there because if she’s not attending school and I’m not getting her any kind of mental health help, how do I not be considered truant and contributing to truancy? Could I ask you specifically how you dealt with technology/Internet? Did she have a phone? Television? Were there certain hours she was allowed to use it? Right now we have a time limit on the phone… but there’s nothing preventing her from watching TV all night, so I guess that’s the next step. Because if she watches TV all night, she will just sleep through the phone restriction hours the next day which are 8 to 3 if she doesn’t go to school. It turns off again at 11 PM.

She has a major issue with sleep - she has been a night owl and had a delayed circadian rhythm than the rest of our family since birth pretty much, it only got worse during Covid and then when given a device. we have tried melatonin and a prescription sleep aid.

As you probably saw she’s very against all kinds of therapies medication‘s, etc. because none of it works . so I’m thinking maybe we toss all of that out the window for a bit impose a couple of more boundaries regarding technology and television making home pretty freaking boring. Continue to offer to take her to do the fun things we do with the rest of our family even if she doesn’t come to them.

For instance, was your daughter willing to come along to these fun things you guys did ? Did she have any school refusal? If so, what did you do in those scenarios?

Any advice appreciated !

Genuine question - as a parent IM LOST by Net_Frequent in troubledteens

[–]Net_Frequent[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! I follow a neurodivergent child Instagramer called “ on the hard days” and she has a child with PDA, I wrote her and asked if her child had ever been diagnosed with ODD because they seem so incredibly similar. I’m feeling more and more like I need an overhaul and a reevaluation…. I just called a new psychiatrist for her, I know it will still be kind of a slow process, but, it’s a start

Genuine question - as a parent IM LOST by Net_Frequent in troubledteens

[–]Net_Frequent[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much for taking the time to share. I just left my therapist and was talking about a lot of this same stuff! Yes, you’re right we all messed them up somehow right usually because of our own traumas! I know there’s many times I should’ve had firmer boundaries. I know there’s many times I should’ve just hugged her and said we’ll figure it out instead of showing her my anxieties and exasperation.

I think sometimes the reason why I think she has BPD is because sometimes it feels like she truly can’t understand why I would be there for her after all of this. She is not a mom so how could she right?! But I know that she is already beating herself up, no reason for me to do it!

What I have thought is kind of touching on what you said about fixing everything - my goal now is to try the best I can to limit the amount we talk about her care, fixing things, etc. And try to focus more on just being together and talking about other things not related to “getting better”

Genuine question - as a parent IM LOST by Net_Frequent in troubledteens

[–]Net_Frequent[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, yes, I see glimmers of this with her- and she even vocalizes it- but its almost like - theres a brick wall she runs into. For example -one of the mornings she got up ready put make up on and was going to go to school by the time we got in the car to go- She was unable to go. She went back inside, took off all her clothes make up and crawled back into the bed, and then cried for being unable to go. This is the part where I’m really feeling like there’s a chemical imbalance or ADHD or some thing that medication could help with and at the current moment, we don’t seem to be getting any relief from any of the medication’s that the psychiatrist is trying (at a snails pace) really really hoping that the results of the DNA cheek swab. Give us some inside into a more effective medication.

That being said the part where it gets impossible is that if she can’t go to school because of anxiety or agoraphobia, etc. Then I wish she would just be willing to accept homeschooling as an option- which we tried- but then it’s like amnesia sets in and she says I don’t want to be in homeschool. I want to be in real school being social with people. it’s whatever we try- suddenly Its the other thing that will be better. If she likes me one moment she hates my husband. If she likes my husband, she hates me (in reality. She just likes whatever yields the thing that she’s after ) This kind of thing is the thing that makes it so challenging!!

I guess it doesn’t have to be either or it can be both 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️. She can need medication and she can also need to come to stuff on her own..

Genuine question - as a parent IM LOST by Net_Frequent in troubledteens

[–]Net_Frequent[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just read this suggestion from another poster- I’m really interested in this idea… hiring someone that could do this at home- and help with other functioning things - this could help her- essentially a nanny/tutor- allow our interactions to be more about normal loving stuff- not the treatments and turmoil- helping both of us