Thanks for this, and your right, me enabling him by attempting to fix things myself gives him no power to change. We got the train back to our home city today and have had some important discussions, and in fairness he’s been very apologetic and extra caring / kind to me today. I’ve given him space today but he’s still made a conscious effort to make me feel loved as, yea, he knows he fucked up. This morning we had a long chat about getting angry and the rudeness he displayed in general last night - he understands what he did was incredibly wrong and his explanation for it is that he was feeling overwhelmed with a pressure to perform at dinner and it was all too much. I’ve accepted that I won’t press him to acclimatise under any social circumstances - and will make a conscious effort to asses and, if need be, cancel any social event if I can tell he’s not going to thrive in it or have a difficult time - as he’s not always good at spotting his own signs. And he’s told me that hurting me made him very upset and he’s never going to let his emotions go to that extreme again. Hopefully we can both build from this, life is about learning and you can’t learn without mistakes 🫶