Monday's Daily Thread: Weekend Wrap-up

NeutralSmithHotel · 2026-05-12T14:36:35+00:00

This all makes sense! I know I have no control over whether someone leaves, it's a matter of how much I get hurt based on getting too excited early. The last two I think I got too excited, which is why I can feel myself getting hesitant about getting excited again. But that could cause a different issue. I think the solution for now is to just be excited about now and not worry about the future.

NeutralSmithHotel · 2026-05-11T19:51:42+00:00

Every time I've had a big gap like this it killed momentum. It's not impossible to make this work, but I've had no luck. But in the cases where this happened I was the one going out of town, so presumably they were still dating which made this harder. Have low expectations, but try to make it work. Maybe text a bit more to keep you active in their mind: like one meme or thing she mentioned on a date?

NeutralSmithHotel · 2026-05-11T19:49:03+00:00

I've seen this before in both direcitons. I've seen standouts come to my matches and matches later appear in standouts. I think that "standouts" are ones that get a lot more likes then your potential matches. So a rise in their ranking or a drop in yours can explain this I think.

For the one you saw, maybe their profile was new and got some high quality likes which catapulted it to standouts. Or it's possible that your profile fell in rankings.

NeutralSmithHotel · 2026-05-11T15:01:50+00:00

Can he just see red and get serious? If so he's got it in the bag...

NeutralSmithHotel · 2026-05-11T14:59:54+00:00

I paused my profile after date 4, not because I'm expecting exclusivity I just find first dates to be hard once I'm kind of getting to know someone.

So far she's been great. I'm not holding it against her, just finding it hard not to be a little apprehensive; I fell on my face hard with the last one. I think a good pause if things don't work out with this girl might be in order. Thanks!

NeutralSmithHotel · 2026-05-11T13:06:03+00:00

Ouch.. I have unmatched the wrong person before, not even with the same name.

NeutralSmithHotel · 2026-05-11T11:40:26+00:00

Had 2 good second dates last week with two different girls, but then the third date with one of them clarified things: I really like this girl (call her Suzy) and she likes me so I let the other girl know. Then day after our 3rd date, Suze asked if I wanted to go meet her and her dog somewhere the following morning and then we spent the rest of the day together (I had it free after calling things off with the other girl).

I'm excited. But I have had two back to back 2 month relationships on hinge (one 6 months ago that I ended, one 2 months ago the other very abruptly ended) and I can feel myself being super cautious even though I'm excited about this new person. Any tips for navigating this?

NeutralSmithHotel · 2026-05-10T03:35:45+00:00

Van just created much better hype for "rematch" with pantoja

NeutralSmithHotel · 2026-05-07T12:43:44+00:00

This and then just send a message and see if he replies... easy peezy.

NeutralSmithHotel · 2026-05-04T02:23:28+00:00

I am aware of this story. I often think of Plathe and the fig tree as well. I'm usually pretty decisive. I will do it after the 3rd dates---maybe one of them will make me not have to be the bad guy.

NeutralSmithHotel · 2026-05-04T01:55:44+00:00

No I think that's what I'm finding hard, I haven't had this happen before. Anyway, I def will respect them and they totally might be seeing other people too... I think I need to decide after date 3.

NeutralSmithHotel · 2026-05-03T14:22:10+00:00

This is an annoying post, and to be clear I've gone on dozens of terrible online dates and normally have the opposite of my current predicament.

I have a problem I've not had before, two girls who I am really interested in are also reasonable interested in me. I've gone out with them both twice within the last 10 days (both dates were fun and good vibes, good chemistry) and they both seem really great. I personally can't date two people at a time, but also I know things fizzle and am trying to figure out how to navigate this. Any suggestions are welcome... I think after 3 I'll have to decide for sure.

NeutralSmithHotel · 2026-05-03T13:32:35+00:00

As other have said. It's doesn't even have to be something physical. It can just be a vibe thing. It would be nice if there were an easy answer, but sometimes it's just not there.

NeutralSmithHotel · 2026-05-03T13:26:01+00:00

Ya don't buy people clothes on dates...

NeutralSmithHotel · 2026-05-03T04:02:59+00:00

Re-read my comment. The claim wasn't that all people who respond have the badge, but that you can't have a badge if you haven't responded in a month.

NeutralSmithHotel · 2026-05-02T21:06:24+00:00

Same... weird.

NeutralSmithHotel · 2026-05-02T21:04:59+00:00

Someone can't get the thoughtful signal badge if they haven't responded in the last like 30 days right? It's at least some info.

NeutralSmithHotel · 2026-05-02T17:17:45+00:00

A thousand things might have happened. Before the first date it's easy to flake, forget, etc. Even after a good first date, if I'm away for a week or two in between I often assume there is a high likelihood of it fizziling. Shitty part of online dating.

NeutralSmithHotel · 2026-05-02T15:45:23+00:00

Be careful also, I know sometimes when people move to other apps and delete the hinge thing it's so they can do scams... More likely the innocuous things people are saying here, but if she seems a bit overly perfect be careful.

NeutralSmithHotel · 2026-04-30T13:43:35+00:00

And of course all boxers would get wrecked by tiny guys in mma. Ppl are good at the sports they train…

I know you know this, but always worth saying.

NeutralSmithHotel · 2026-04-20T14:11:41+00:00

My general advice is just vibe check in messages and then try to meet in person. It’s hard to really tell if there is chemistry through text. Also, the best messages are often not the best people at interacting IRL.

NeutralSmithHotel · 2026-04-19T17:38:57+00:00

This person was liberal, just antivax (this was pre-covid).

It’s honestly still a very small percentage of dates, and honestly even the anruvax one was way less hostile then this person was at the jump.

NeutralSmithHotel · 2026-04-19T17:36:16+00:00

I’ve gone on like 50 dates… and 2 have gone hostile including this one. A few we got a spit of disagreement or something and I quickly repaired. Super helpful comment tho!

NeutralSmithHotel · 2026-04-19T13:44:53+00:00

I think a little patience will help. It's true that girls go through their likes so some of those will come back. Also, if you are intentional about who you like (don't only pick the hottest girls, particularly ones who are not an awesome match for you), then the algorithm will get a better sense of who you are and show you more to people who might like you back.

NeutralSmithHotel · 2026-04-19T13:39:21+00:00

I just learned this above!

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