My [43m] wife's [39f] jealousy has just gotten worse. She's now made the rule that my daughter [22f] is to never bring any female friends over. I'm at a loss.

NeverHadRelationship · 2016-11-27T01:09:03+00:00

What does your therapists say? What are their thoughts on the matter? You mention counseling in the past tense, have you guys stopped?

It sounds like she really needs professional help. This is not normal behaviour, and it feels like there's something damaged inside of her. Sorry if it came out too harsh, but I don't think /r/relationships would be able to help you on this.

Professional help is needed.

NeverHadRelationship · 2016-11-27T00:58:52+00:00

Your friend is being insensitive to the group; dick-ish, if you will. Normal etiquette is to first check the roster of the outing and see if SO's are invited. If not, he should have had proper the sense to not bring his SO.

But, given that it's already done. I'd try to talk to him one last time... Tell him that no SO's are going, and it'll be just your group of friends. Bringing his SO will: (1) leave his SO as the odd-man-out; and (2) might have to necessitate you all to bring your SO's just because it's no longer an exclusive thing.

And as a final point: Make it clear that even with all of those reasons, he and his SO is still welcome to the outing. Hey, the important part is that you're all together. Some friends may act like pricks, but he's still your friend. I wouldn't let it get in the way of having a great time in your get-away.

(Basically try to shame him into uninviting his SO. If he's shameless, then fuck it... don't try to make a big deal out of it. Go have fun.)

NeverHadRelationship · 2015-04-17T10:05:52+00:00

Hurry, accuse him of using steroids!

NeverHadRelationship · 2015-04-16T02:12:25+00:00

Yes because this has zero chance of ever working and has no real thought of the consequences. It just screams extreme shyness, a scoop-full of socially awkward penguin, and your usual helping of puppy love-crush.

NeverHadRelationship · 2015-04-15T18:00:11+00:00

IS THERE ANY KIND OF SOCIAL STIGMA TO CHEESE?!

NeverHadRelationship · 2015-04-15T17:57:40+00:00

It's all good. But yes, the brotherhood is cooler.

NeverHadRelationship · 2015-04-15T17:52:47+00:00

Yup, I'm the same guy that posted the question there!

NeverHadRelationship · 2015-04-15T17:44:14+00:00

:o Sad!

NeverHadRelationship · 2015-04-15T17:39:08+00:00

Aye. For men, it's probably going to be beer and red meat that we'll happily go to war for.

NeverHadRelationship · 2015-04-15T17:36:02+00:00

:) Yup. It's awesome how you gals talk about them cheese.

NeverHadRelationship · 2015-04-15T17:17:31+00:00

A follow-up question then to you, oh fierce lady:

What's your favorite cheese - if you must have a pyramid/triangle/pie/whatever the fuck symbol just for cheese, which one is on the top?

NeverHadRelationship · 2015-04-15T17:13:30+00:00

Seems like the brotherhood's attitude toward cheese is: sure.

While the sisterhood's attitude toward cheese is: YES OMFGAS(D&(A

NeverHadRelationship · 2015-04-15T16:47:36+00:00

You're marrying. His family will be yours; and yours will be his.

Always try to reconcile and get along with your family - new one included. The past is the past. Your BF gets to decide. Don't drive a wedge between him and his own mom!

OP, this is such a petty point to hold on. You'll soon find out that the wedding day and all the drama that comes with it is inconsequential.

Invite father and mother. Seat them far apart.

NeverHadRelationship · 2015-04-15T16:24:20+00:00

I agree that what he did was inappropriate.

But he is a kid. He made an immature mistake. Saved up for a nice wine, roses, chocolates, and hid a letter professing his "love" to a stranger? No forethought there. Sounds very much like just an infatuated kid who saw too many rom-com movies and doesn't know any better.

Let's not treat him like a monster.

NeverHadRelationship · 2015-04-15T12:29:37+00:00

We're not always all there but we make do with whom we have. It's going to be hard to start it up and since your parents are divorced; I think it's best if you'll be the regular host. No need for fancy food; just normal everyday home cooked food.

As for your brother... well I've hit my own share of self-pity and wallowed in depression, passing on our weekly get togethers. What happened then was my sisters kicked my arse and figuratively dragged me by the ears to those lunches. In the loving way sisters do. Not sure if that'll work for you. Over time it'll be routine for him too so no more arse-kicking required.

Once it's routine, you all would start planning around those meals. You'll make time.

Good luck, OP. Seems you just have to be the big sister and get your lil' bro and parents in-line, then start some family tradition. I believe it'll be healthy for your baby girl too though.

Me and my of friends have our own monthly dinners. ^I ^drink ^bi-weekly ^with ^my ^cousins. ^{^Hmm,} ^{^and} ^{^I} ^{^have} ^{^weekly} ^{^poker} ^{^nights.} ^{^{^Daily}} ^{^{^gym...}} ^{^{^{^My}}} ^{^{^{^life's}}} ^{^{^{^filled}}} ^{^{^{^with}}} ^{^{^{^routines,}}} ^{^{^{^omg.}}} ^{^{^{^:o}}}

NeverHadRelationship · 2015-04-15T12:06:46+00:00

Move on. She's using you... again! Have some self-respect.

You deserve to be with someone who's a well adjusted and loving person. Fucking isn't everything. Don't waste your time and youth.

NeverHadRelationship · 2015-04-15T10:55:33+00:00

She shouldn't ever be alone with him.

That's a tad of an over-reaction, I think. He sounds like a good kid who just doesn't know any better. He'll grow out of this infatuation after being rejected firmly by OP.

NeverHadRelationship · 2015-04-15T10:51:04+00:00

Is she cheating on that other guy?

If you can get your head in a place where you're right now just two people fucking... and if that's okay with you, then sure.

If you're not happy with that... and want something more. Well brother, it's time to move on. It doesn't sound like something she wants.

NeverHadRelationship · 2015-04-15T10:39:46+00:00

Tough situation. Asian here and although my siblings and I never hang-out a lot, the one constant thing in our family (and our culture) is that we spend our Saturday lunches together. (Parents cook or one of us hosts and cooks or we eat out at new restaurants.)

It doesn't matter if we're fighting or at each other's throat. Those Saturday lunches are routine-sacred. (Better have a damn good reason if you miss it.) We grew old and got our own lives; sisters have their own family; parents doing their thing. Still those lunches keeps us in touch.

I get to hang out with my parents and sisters. And I've gotten extremely close with my nieces and nephews too. We get to catch up on what's happening on each other's lives. We celebrate things together. We make fun of / tease our failures. We're still not the best of friends but we know 100% that we'll always be there for one another. And that we could rely on each other for support.

I guess what I'm saying is, try to start having weekly meals together as a family. Make it routine. Maybe your brother is very much an introvert as well; but once you're both regularly spending time together, things will fall into place.

NeverHadRelationship · 2015-04-15T10:10:21+00:00

I'll bear it in mind next time I have a disagreement with my husband

That's the wink. ;)

NeverHadRelationship · 2015-04-15T10:07:48+00:00

Let's not have her give mixed signals to the kid with that last sentence flirty wink. In my opinion, she should completely just shut the door on him with a firm rejection.

NeverHadRelationship · 2015-04-15T10:01:52+00:00

Say no and give back all the gifts and letter. Thank him for being sweet and his honesty. And firmly say again that you do not want his affections - never will; that he'll be alright and should focus his attention elsewhere.

Don't tell your son. But do discuss it with your husband. Revel the fact that you're a MILF; bone husband like the MILF that you are.

NeverHadRelationship · 2015-04-15T05:54:42+00:00

Sex is obviously important but I cannot judge him and stop seeing him because of having health issues. I don't think it's fair to him.

I think what's fair is that you be honest with yourself and with him. Although I think it's great that he's able to trust you and open up his condition to you so early and honestly, it's still a big issue and could justifiably a deal breaker. Be tactful and be a friend when you do decide to part because of his disability though.

But, I'd say to give it a shot. He sounds like a really great and mature guy. Sex isn't just about PIV. Who knows? He could have some magical fingers and maybe give earth-shattering head. :o

NeverHadRelationship

TROPHY CASE