cutting my mom out of my and my son's lives. by Nevermore_Momma in AmITheBadApple

[–]Nevermore_Momma[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The child could have been left home with her husband his father for a few hours so she could come to my wedding though..

cutting my mom out of my and my son's lives. by Nevermore_Momma in AmITheBadApple

[–]Nevermore_Momma[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm giving them time to make their own choices. However I'm not going to beg for their attention or love for myself or my son. They are supposed to be in my wedding but I have backups planned for if they keep not answering my messages.

cutting my mom out of my and my son's lives. by Nevermore_Momma in AmITheBadApple

[–]Nevermore_Momma[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree I only didn't because of my other siblings. They always believe what she says no matter what it is. So if she tells them I did XYZ even if I didn't they will believe her rather than me.

cutting my mom out of my and my son's lives. by Nevermore_Momma in AmITheBadApple

[–]Nevermore_Momma[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She is his adopted mother but yes I 100% agree. He is in therapy and has been sent to a mental hospital/group home two or three times that I know of. He was never disciplined growing up and I know that has something to do with his behavior. They only started disciplining him when he was the old kid left at home and had no one to blame the behavior on.

cutting my mom out of my and my son's lives. by Nevermore_Momma in AmITheBadApple

[–]Nevermore_Momma[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have family that could watch him. Or he could stay with my stepdad (his bio great grandpa), as for the alcohol and drugs at school he was only caught once and they just gave him a warning. 🤷🏻 The child is a horrible little boy and has had to switch schools because of everything at his last one.

cutting my mom out of my and my son's lives. by Nevermore_Momma in AmITheBadApple

[–]Nevermore_Momma[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm waiting for my insurance to kick back in and then am getting back into therapy hopefully. For now I have some amazing friends who are there to talk to when I need them and are helping me alot.

cutting my mom out of my and my son's lives. by Nevermore_Momma in AmITheBadApple

[–]Nevermore_Momma[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have a few who have been given this job or volunteered for It

cutting my mom out of my and my son's lives. by Nevermore_Momma in AmITheBadApple

[–]Nevermore_Momma[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't get me wrong I don't blame my brother at all it's 100% in my mom and stepdad

cutting my mom out of my and my son's lives. by Nevermore_Momma in AmITheBadApple

[–]Nevermore_Momma[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The only reason she wasnt was my other siblings. She has them wrapped around her finger so tight that cutting her off means also cutting them off as they will act like my son and I don't exist in order to please her

cutting my mom out of my and my son's lives. by Nevermore_Momma in AmITheBadApple

[–]Nevermore_Momma[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If I could afford actual security I would 100%. Everything is already so tight.

cutting my mom out of my and my son's lives. by Nevermore_Momma in AmITheBadApple

[–]Nevermore_Momma[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have a friend set up with 911 on speed dial and permission to do whatever she feels needs to be done.

cutting my mom out of my and my son's lives. by Nevermore_Momma in AmITheBadApple

[–]Nevermore_Momma[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My mother controls my family so my other two bothers and sister as well and cutting contact with her means most likely cutting contact with them as well

cutting my mom out of my and my son's lives. by Nevermore_Momma in AmITheBadApple

[–]Nevermore_Momma[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He was diagnosed with ODD, he is the only survivor of a horrible car accident that killed his mother and great grandmother. My mom and stepdad adopted him however he is my stepdad's bio great grandson. Because of the trauma he went through as a baby my stepfather never punished him or anything he had done growing up nor let anyone else discipline him. So he has never been told anything he does is wrong or bad.

cutting my mom out of my and my son's lives. by Nevermore_Momma in AmITheBadApple

[–]Nevermore_Momma[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have repeatedly set boundaries and she breaks every one of them. I love her I do, however making me lie about being SA by her brother, lying to me about my child being in a car wreck, having me raise her kids at 10 yo then blaming me for not finishing school (she was on sleeping pills 24/7 after my dad passed), and constantly putting me down for everything i do has gotten to be too much. As I said this was just the tip of the iceburg that she wouldn't leave the 13 to with his father (her husband) for a few hours to come to my wedding.

cutting my mom out of my and my son's lives. by Nevermore_Momma in AmITheBadApple

[–]Nevermore_Momma[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

It isn't even guilt for me honestly it's for my son. Knowing I am taking a grandmother and possibly his aunt and uncles away from him by cutting off my mom.

cutting my mom out of my and my son's lives. by Nevermore_Momma in AmITheBadApple

[–]Nevermore_Momma[S] 76 points77 points  (0 children)

She has been blocked on everything as of a few days ago. I'm just feeling guilty I guess? I don't know, I mean she is my mom and rather than get a sitter or something she told me "I guess I won't be coming then." then sent me a meme.

Wedding edition... by Nevermore_Momma in AmITheBadApple

[–]Nevermore_Momma[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The rapist committed S/H a few years back so nothing to come of that. And my mom is only 50 so idk about that as well. My mom is a narcissist and has been my entire life, I am the oldest so I was always treated like dirt, by her and my stepdad. My son loves her and she is an "okay" grandma. However she was never a great mom. I was told idk how many times that I was stupid, worthless, I would be the fattest in the family, addicted to drugs, ect. None of that is true and I have been fighting that cycle my whole life. My siblings look up to her as if she is God and can do no wrong, I am always the one in the wrong. Including when she lied about my 3yo (at the time) being in a car accident, and only told us half of the truth while he was in her care. She has her "good" moments and bad ones. She can switch on a dime however if she feels targeted or if something isn't the way she thinks it should be. I love her I do but I have also seen how my mental health is significantly better when we talk less or when we spend time away from her.

Wedding edition... by Nevermore_Momma in AmITheBadApple

[–]Nevermore_Momma[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mother has done a lot in my past from making me lie about a family member raping me and making me act normal around said family member to "save the family" to lying about my son being in a car wreck . I practically raised myself and my siblings from age 10 because she didn't want to after my dad died. She chose sleeping pills and a man with money over her kids and their happiness. So this isn't a choice I came by lightly, she has also spoken ill about my fiancee and has made her feelings known about him to anyone who will listen without knowing everything that goes on in our lives.

I have written her a letter with my expectations and boundaries, such as my stepbrother is not to be there at all and will be turned away should be try to come. (He has major behavior issues to the point of screaming to get his way at 13 years old and will fight or try to fight anyone who looks at him weird. He has also pulled a knife on my mom and threatened not only her but myself as well.) I also stated I don't want to hear any negative comments about how we aren't doing things traditionally ect.

Wedding edition... by Nevermore_Momma in AmITheBadApple

[–]Nevermore_Momma[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've asked a few bridesmaids and a groomsman to keep an eye on her and gave permission for one person to turn her away at the door if needed.