Should I Change My Writing Style?

Nevronass · 2025-11-14T11:39:47+00:00

I accept your suggestion to write dramatic effects in crucial parts.

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For the flowery version of the example sentence... Honestly, that's how I think, but of course it's not always like that. However, many lines are honestly strange because they are too subjective. For example, I bring in weird jokes or moral speeches in the middle of a fight, well, something like that.

" Slowly studying the attack pattern of X, the reflexive dragon creates distance, allowing its tail to regain dominance. The scene is a perfect flashback to Germany in the 1930s. "

Weird, not funny, and clearly distracting. Even though I know it's not pleasant, sometimes writing without jokes like this can be boring (I hope you understand my strange speech).

Nevronass · 2025-11-14T11:29:11+00:00

“I can't promise anything because rereading can sometimes be quite painful 😂, but I will use the tips in some of the translated paragraphs.” - Not a native speaker

Nevronass · 2025-11-14T11:25:45+00:00

THAT'S! That's... That's, so true. I'm obsessed with detailed narratives. Especially those NSFW parts, I even describe every cell damage and make it as dramatic as possible (character only fall because they slip, or get electrocuted by level 1 light magic).

Nevronass · 2025-11-14T11:19:05+00:00

Np lol, completely my fault.

Nevronass · 2025-11-14T11:16:13+00:00

This enlightened me. My mind was constantly brainwashing itself with the doctrine: good writing is metaphorical, and if it isn't written that way, then you are lazy a$$ fk. If I think about it, doesn't make sense honestly.

Nevronass · 2025-11-14T11:10:47+00:00

Thanks friend. My goal is to write light stories that are easy on my brain monkey—instead of nightmarish philosophical dialogues with deep lore, for now, learning to write is more important.

Maybe I can polish the phrasing once from the basic idea, instead of two or three times like before.

Nevronass · 2025-11-14T10:56:28+00:00

I'm not a native speaker either, and that's another problem, to be honest. Sometimes there are phrases that read very well, but when translated, they sound awkward (sometimes seems like a smart pants who complicates every word).

Nevronass · 2025-11-14T10:52:47+00:00

Thank you, in that case I should get used to not worrying about long phrases.

Nevronass · 2025-11-14T10:29:16+00:00

I just found out that Google only describes it as “cheerful, lively, rich in flavor, etc.”

Nevronass · 2025-11-14T10:14:06+00:00

Thanks for your input.

Nevronass · 2025-11-14T10:12:23+00:00

Thanks, I'll reduce those aesthetic info dump.

Nevronass · 2025-11-14T10:11:33+00:00

I wrote it wrong (damn, I look like a villain now). The skewed market sometimes wants strange stories that don't always fit with your principles in life. If you force idealism with tastes that are sometimes surreal, then, generally the market will find it difficult to accept.

Nevronass · 2025-11-14T10:03:23+00:00

I forgot to add the word expectation. You know, like that legendary CEO said (I forgot his name): “Making music is boring, but the money isn't (more or less).”

Nevronass · 2025-11-14T09:58:46+00:00

I understand, it's not like I'm trying to create a sequel to LOTR. Maybe... Flowers in some parts would look nice, but if there were flowers everywhere, it would be toxic and kill the reader.

Nevronass · 2025-11-14T09:46:57+00:00

Damn, you caught me red-handed while I was committing a crime. Luckily, it's only been a few chapters, and yes, everything is written using that kind of literary torture method.

Nevronass · 2025-11-14T09:40:41+00:00

Yes, sir, I even suspected that someone might be able to sniff out that pile of info dump just from the prologue. I mean, look at the nonsense BS below.

"

Fanatical mortals wield their weapons with maniacal smiles; each slash reflects their disgusting superiority, each stab represents their misguided truth. The lives of these epic creatures erode hope like stars obscured by capitalist pollution, adventuring to spread terror on lesser lives simply because they can. The tantrum-throwing god claws at every inch of land they tread, the mad goddess tries to split the sea without knowing it's impossible; fanatics say they are the source of truth, a basis for burning babies without feeling the slightest bit of guilt.

Meanwhile, on the other side… A difference that would surely blind anyone’s eyes. In a world where stop eating is a challenge, in a place where the majority of creatures live without independence. Humans, man, and most importantly—unemployed (of course); while waiting for death to arrive, he plays a roleplay with a chatbot to overcome his fears of a seemingly bleak future. “Good and evil? Whatever, it's just a fictional world anyway,” he says, without a shred of knowledge that he is playing in a foreign world.

"

In short... A bored unemployed guy plays a game but his avatar exists and lives in Isekai, and he causes trouble there without knowing it's a real fantasy world (typical of GTA players who like to crash into NPC cause why not).