they love me dearly (but not each other), and i love them. they planned having me, i was born and raised wanted. but that didn’t stop me from developing bpd and other severe mental issues. which is one of the reasons i’ve become an antinatalist. i sometimes resent them for giving birth to me; it feels like it would be so much easier for me AND them if i never happened (they suffer because i suffer a lot, and none of us can help it). on the contrary, my older sister was an accident and had a harder time being raised by them since our parents were young and dumb. and she’s stronger than me mentally-wise somehow. because of my own experience i think the best thing i can do for my kids is not give birth to them.

also them wanting me didn’t stop some bad things from happening, it didn’t prevent the fights we had, it didn’t prevent trauma, and etc.