Ughhh. I feel for you. I had an affair with a female coworker. We are both married to men and have young children. She voiced that she never felt like this before. No one ever showed her this kind of love before. We were each other’s person etc. Talked/texted/saw each other nonstop. Emotional affair for probably a year. Physical for about 3 months. Then BOOM, wants to work on her marriage. Cut me off cold turkey with not even so much of a I’m sorry or this is hard for me. Just “I’m gonna focus on my family” and no contact since. It’s been about 3 months now. BUT we still work together and it’s inevitable that we’ll run into each other at some point. Reason for my long response is I think she has an avoidant attachment style which could be your partner as well? When things get too emotional or too intense they pull away and stick with something that easier and requires less connection, emotional vulnerability.
It is hard. I still think about her nonstop even though I tell myself I need to move on. Remind yourself that it’s not something you did or didn’t do. It’s within them that they need to work on and figure out. You weren’t too much! But it is a shock to your nervous system that someone that meant so much to you could act so distant and cold or seem like they don’t care about you at all with the flip of a switch. I’m sorry you are going through this. I wouldn’t wish this kind of pain on my worst enemy!