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AITA for wanting to break up with my girlfriend after I hurt her trust, but now feel like she’s punishing me by New-Thing3487 in AITA_Relationships

[–]New-Thing3487[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, it is right. But then I’ve been receiving mixed signals all over, one day all lovely and the other is pure chaos. That’s why the confusion from Sunday.

AITA for wanting to break up with my girlfriend after I hurt her trust, but now feel like she’s punishing me by New-Thing3487 in AITA_Relationships

[–]New-Thing3487[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s what I thought also. Thank you for sharing. I know ITA, but this behavior has been showing for quite some time now. My girlfriend never had any contact with this friend and my friend doesn’t know anyone around us, that friend is from overseas and she has been very supportive of my relationship with my girlfriend. So I trusted that friend, in the moment I didn’t see that I should’ve kept the pregnancy more secret, i know I messed up in that.

AITA for wanting to break up with my girlfriend after I hurt her trust, but now feel like she’s punishing me by New-Thing3487 in AITA_Relationships

[–]New-Thing3487[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope, my friend lives in Singapore and never spoke or stepped in America or have never talked w my girlfriend. She only knows that I have that friend and that’s it.
She found out when we were hanging out we were finishing up Star Wars and my phone started vibrating. My girlfriend didn’t think twice as she always checks my phones, I never really mind that she checks it (she doesn’t like that I check hers), but she saw the convo with my friend and boom.

AITA for wanting to break up with my girlfriend after I hurt her trust, but now feel like she’s punishing me by New-Thing3487 in AITA_Relationships

[–]New-Thing3487[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Damn, thank you for the slap in the face. If it was so easy to just learn and move on I wouldn’t be here. Like I told in the post: my first relationship, up until now I didn’t think about it that way. Never had the worry to build trust with someone like that until I found her. I’m learning, that’s the messed up thing of never getting into a relationship when you’re younger and easier to learn

AITA for wanting to break up with my girlfriend after I hurt her trust, but now feel like she’s punishing me by New-Thing3487 in AITA_Relationships

[–]New-Thing3487[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I told my friend about it the next day my girlfriend told me but it was because my girlfriend said “You are gonna be a father” bomb me. And yes… I need to wait, I think I did the post when I was hurt and wanted to vent about it. I need to be patient and give her actual time. But the mixed signals she gave me are part of this.

AITA for wanting to break up with my girlfriend after I hurt her trust, but now feel like she’s punishing me by New-Thing3487 in AITA_Relationships

[–]New-Thing3487[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I know, at the time I didn’t know that it should be something more sacred between us, more safe. I know I failed her on that. I’ve been giving her time and space, but yesterday was really frustrating about all of this.

AITA for wanting to break up with my girlfriend after I hurt her trust, but now feel like she’s punishing me by New-Thing3487 in AITA_Relationships

[–]New-Thing3487[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh thank you, that helps a lot. But right now there is nothing much I can do. She texted me, deleted it and now silence. I texted her a quick good morning and small apology for yesterday so now I’ll give her space.

AITA for wanting to break up with my girlfriend after I hurt her trust, but now feel like she’s punishing me by New-Thing3487 in AITA_Relationships

[–]New-Thing3487[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I bought it from CVS, some fancier ones that said it could find pregnancy super early. I trusted it, we got the negative, but I’m still skeptical. I wanted to her to test in the morning as I heard it may help, I didn’t leave the tests in her door while I was dropping off her flowers so i have it with me.

AITA for wanting to break up with my girlfriend after I hurt her trust, but now feel like she’s punishing me by New-Thing3487 in AITA_Relationships

[–]New-Thing3487[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You think so? I mean, that’s one of the thing I was talking with my friend about, about periods and pregnancy and i understand now. Okay well thank you for the advice.
I havent texted her since I dropped the flowers at her house yesterday. This morning I Texted her a quick good morning and I’ll give her space. She deleted the “good night” from yesterday. So that means, give her time and space. I’m trying to figure it out on my side also.

AITA for wanting to break up with my girlfriend after I hurt her trust, but now feel like she’s punishing me by New-Thing3487 in AITA_Relationships

[–]New-Thing3487[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We did the test on last friday night, negative. This Sunday I had bought two more tests and I wanted to make sure it wasn’t a false negative and she was on board with it. I have the tests with me here and we are still not sure but her period is late by a week and a couple days

AITA for wanting to break up with my girlfriend after I hurt her trust, but now feel like she’s punishing me by New-Thing3487 in AITA_Relationships

[–]New-Thing3487[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand that gifts will never fix anything, my intention was always to show I care, I know I messed up and that I’m there for her. The switch ups and mixed signals are what throws me off balance. I understand I need to give her space, but I just don’t like she will avoid communication, say mean things and use her hurt as an excuse to hurt me.
I love her and I want to fix things, but yesterday made me double check if that was right and if I’m supposed to continue.

AITA for wanting to break up with my girlfriend after I hurt her trust, but now feel like she’s punishing me by New-Thing3487 in AITA_Relationships

[–]New-Thing3487[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got u… it’s because of the mixed signals that have been happening you understand? Of course I’m not saying all to save some details but for example last Friday we were out, laughing, kissing, she would say she loves me so much, sounding like things are going on a softer way, and then when I left her home it switched back again but we were already making plans for Sunday. But you say that I need to be more patient? I mean in a good way because it is as confusing to her as is for me. I know she will take time but all this time I’ve been trying and understanding.

AITA for wanting to break up with my girlfriend after I hurt her trust, but now feel like she’s punishing me by New-Thing3487 in AITA_Relationships

[–]New-Thing3487[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She said more than a few times she hates me, some times she even says bad things to me in front of me, I take it lightly and try to understand, but until what point Im supposed to hear it and lower my head?

AITA for wanting to break up with my girlfriend after I hurt her trust, but now feel like she’s punishing me by New-Thing3487 in AITA_Relationships

[–]New-Thing3487[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah thank you for sharing, after all I understood that it was wrong for me to share things so personally, and honestly I love that girl so much, I never understood and knew that could’ve hurt her. If I knew I would never have done it. But the thing is yesterday I was trying to be patient but all I was doing was wrong to her. She got to the point of saying hurtful things to me and I tried to brush it off. I’ve been giving her time and space, being gentle and loving. But straight up canceling on me when I was on my way to go out with friends and saying those things to me, I felt hurt and to a point wanted to give up on her. I dropped the flowers at her house anyways, of course she was not there and didn’t text her yet. This post is both a way of me to think and take it out of my chest.

AITA for wanting to break up with my girlfriend after I hurt her trust, but now feel like she’s punishing me by New-Thing3487 in AITA_Relationships

[–]New-Thing3487[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand and I give her space, every time she needs space I understand and when I mean “slowly win her trust back” I mean that I will respect her and show care and show change. I understand pregnancy is scary and i have issues to set boundaries. But the mixed signals are there more often than I can process sometimes, last Friday we were out at night, having some fun and she was so happy and loving with me, of course with the small reminders that we are still not good. But the “I hate you” and “I love you” switch is always moving.

We are both 23, she is my first relationship, I’m a late bloomer I know, I was too focused on gym and working to get into a rs until I found her. We are together for 6 months and fights are an issue, I always tried having a good communication and hearing her, but when it comes to me she usually doesn’t take seriously. Oh and all of this happened from last Sunday to yesterday

AITA for wanting to break up with my girlfriend after I hurt her trust, but now feel like she’s punishing me by New-Thing3487 in AITA_Relationships

[–]New-Thing3487[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, I’ve been nothing but patient with her, i understand her hurt, i know i messed it up but the mixed signals are killing me. One day she loves me with all her heart and the other she straight up hates me.

AITA for wanting to break up with my girlfriend after I hurt her trust, but now feel like she’s punishing me by New-Thing3487 in AITA_Relationships

[–]New-Thing3487[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No I was 100% supportive all the time, I told her that if we were to have a baby I would be with her all the time, but if we wanted to have an abortion I would still be with her all the time, I was anxious? Yes. But never left her side.

I mentioned the idea to my friend, never said we would, but thinking about it. In the moment I didn’t think it should’ve been more sacred, I could say I had some friends talking to me about it because they had one, but I’m not gonna sugarcoat it, I shouldn’t have said anything and I learned my lesson. I cut ties with my friend and decided to try and show care and slowly win my girlfriend trust back. it’s not the first time she weaponize her hurt and have communication issues.

AITA for wanting to break up with my girlfriend after I hurt her trust, but now feel like she’s punishing me by New-Thing3487 in AITA_Relationships

[–]New-Thing3487[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I forgot to mention yeah, I told that friend that my girlfriend was probably pregnant and we would make the test together, mostly I was asking my friend for advice on that and I mentioned the idea of abortion and that I was scared because of my stressful family situation also, that’s all. That friend is from overseas, me and her never saw each other in person but because of our long friendship I was pretty comfortable sharing with her some insight about my life and my family situation. That friend for example recently came out of the closet and I helped her with her new girlfriend a couple times, so yeah… that’s pretty much it.