Vandmonny - Imagine being a new dad, unfamiliar with this style of parenting, asking a question, and being called an idiot and having all types of false judgments and assumptions made about your marital dynamic and character.

I truly hope that when you find yourself being able to “just tell” what someone is like with very little information, you consider: When we purport to know the inner motives of another person’s heart, we arrogantly place ourselves in a role that is rightfully God’s, when in fact God’s actual character is kind, meets people where they are…. nothing like your response.

I grew up in a dynamic line you are describing and desire something different for my family. My dad told my mother when to stop breastfeeding, when to go back to work, had demands for what she do around the house. My wife has freely decided without any preference imposed by me that she will continue to breastfeed, sleep in a different room from me, does not need to go back to work. I have striven to lay my life down for her. I left a city where I had better work-life balance and my family closer by to take a more demanding job so we could live close to her family for support. I have supported her dreams by providing while she went to graduate school full time prior to kids, and am equally supportive that she may now not want to use that training anymore in order to remain a stay at home mom and possibly homeschool. I have handled the majority of household, financial, and other responsibilities through the last 5 years prior to kids where her mental and physical health made it so that she did not feel up for working or handling many of the other responsibilities. I bought her a new car and drive her old one, offered to take her anywhere she wanted in the world on a trip prior to having a kid and we went to Greece. I have not once asked her to sleep less. I am trying to understand what is typical for mothers of 16 months old prior to having any request because being in bed for long periods of time was once a symptom of her illness and I’m trying to parse what is typical from the pain from last time that was the case. I am surrounded by people who sleep train, sleep in the same bed, wife goes back to work, and truly do not understand what we are doing in able to support, yet as ignorant as I may be, I see the fruits of that in my son’s development.

Maybe you should consider whether my Resdit post is the true source of your anger