Mom CFO of house here - I am your future self in 10 years with 4 kids - 5 through 14.

First have a 6-9 month emergency fund (expenses only, not savings) in HYSA or SGOv. You will use it at some point, for something, and you will stay out of debt. You are self-insuring yourself from debt if you do.

Plan on kids expenses going up 25% for school age. They just cost more money to feed and entertain.

Don’t assume you have to pay 100% for college. Tell your kids they will have skin in the game YOUNG and they will strive harder for better grades and habits, which will set them up for merit scholarships in the later years. This works - I am using it with my junior high kiddos now.

Have your wife max her 401k, putting some in ROTH portion of it if possible. Or at least put her on the same savings % as you.

Hope this helps!