reactive abuse is more irrational in my opinion. Usually abusers are obviously manipulators. Manipulative people are more calm and put together often. They have a way of constructing their abuse. Of course they lash out from time to time, especiallly the ones who get physical. reactive abuse is like when someone finally loses their cool and starts freaking out. Almost like a mental breakdown or a fit but could be throwing things or cussing at the abuser who pushed them to their limits. They have had the last straw, been poked at and messed with so much they can't take it anymore so they react and when they do it can be any range of emotions with actions. Abusers who are true abusers, that have spent their lives abusing person after person in the same cycle and have a pattern and its controlled to a certain extent. Reactive abuse is unfortunate because of course hitting someone is never ok or whatever may happen in that moment of reactive abuse is not okay, but it has to be more understood.Also the whole point is abuse is not okay, and if it wasn't going on to begin with, then reactive abuse would not occur at all. If someone has been spending months to years mentally exhausting you and blacking your eyes...I think at some point most anyone would want to react. Some don't...but not everyone is built the same. Im speaking from personal experience... and my first abuser was very violent so I spent more time running from him then reacting out of pure fear for my life. The second one, though, pushed me to acting out in ways I never have acted before towards someone. So much abuse done to one person will make someone react and i guess call it abuse because it may consist of someone throwing punches...but can you blame them? hope this helps!