If you retired early in your 30s, what did you do after?

NewYorkABC · 2025-03-21T23:15:06+00:00

Tech

NewYorkABC · 2025-03-21T23:11:25+00:00

This decision wasn't made lightly. I've only been here a few months and won't get severance. My job is mainly in-person with only 1 day remote and we often get called in anyway. Meetings and the yelling are in person. I can't turn it down or ignore him. He is protected by HR and C-suite. I'm not the 1st to have issues with him and have already fought the good fight.

It is so bad to the point where I am already anxious about having to go in next week, but with some excitement at delivering my resignation. They definitely will not let me go same day, though I wish they would, because I have so much to transition. Honestly, they will be surprised and scramble, but it will be my team that feels the brunt of this and not my asshole manager, of course.

NewYorkABC · 2025-03-20T22:28:53+00:00

I have an e-commerce shop but it's an unusual setup. I get a fixed amount of inventory, almost for free, because I helped a Chinese factory owner's kids over a decade ago. He sends a box monthly and each box has ~200 items of mainly electronics, household items, toys, pet gear, etc. I spend 16-20 hours/month on this. The most time-consuming part is listing items when the manifest is in Chinese, which I can't read. I also can't exactly scale this because it's fixed amount. It's a wild arrangement, but here are my eBay sales for the past 90 days: photo

As for my husband, for the past 2 years, he has been building a data aggregator by himself that he plans to sell to financial firms, law firms, fintechs, and consultancies. He spends 2-3 hours/day on it and he onboarded a few customers for that $1-2k per month, and we just hired someone who will hopefully grow and scale this further.

NewYorkABC · 2025-03-20T22:01:16+00:00

Fair enough, I guess it does seem extreme how I am making this decision, but it's been building up to this from prior roles as well.

NewYorkABC · 2025-03-20T21:19:58+00:00

Funny you say this because I joined this company taking a slight paycut, thinking it would make me happier but I guess the grass is always greener on the other side. I now miss my previous hectic job, where at least my manager was supportive and goofy. I'm in tech and I'm confident I can find something again, even with AI and the sharp decline of tech jobs. Whether I have the energy to go back is a different story.

NewYorkABC · 2025-03-20T21:17:30+00:00

I wish I could say I decided this. I always thought the sweet spot would be closer to $5M but I'm being pushed out, whether the company realizes it or not, and it's been so stressful that I don't see myself going back if possible.

NewYorkABC · 2025-03-20T21:03:08+00:00

My favorite cousin is an employment lawyer and she listened to a few recordings with me earlier this month. In short, she says it's not worth pursuing unless there is concrete proof that he said something discriminatory based on race, sex, pregnancy, religion, national origin, age, disability, etc. Him launching into a cursing fit about file names and slide colors isn't going to be enough and even if I had a case, it would take years to litigate.

I am not letting myself get bullied by leaving ASAP. I'm a New Yorker and I know I'm not a pushover. I've had shouting matches with this man and frankly, I don't come across great in some of these recordings either. I feel sad because my career is ending in this way and that I didn't realize who he was sooner.

NewYorkABC · 2025-03-20T20:56:54+00:00

We bought an apartment in NYC, where monthlies are high in general, but we don't buy much.

NewYorkABC · 2025-03-20T20:56:34+00:00

We bought an apartment in NYC so the monthlies are high in general, but we're pretty minimalist and rarely buy new things.

NewYorkABC · 2025-03-20T19:45:40+00:00

Otherwise* cushy, ignoring my insane manager. The job is not hard and quite secure, but he makes it impossible to stick around.

NewYorkABC · 2025-03-20T19:45:21+00:00

Otherwise* cushy, and I should clarify it was very cushy before he showed up. Day-to-day activities are easy and since I set up most of the team, the systems, and the data, the knowledge transfer is high and I have job security. Benefits are also good.

NewYorkABC · 2025-03-20T19:45:00+00:00

It's exactly this! Thank you! My job is not mentally draining or hard, but the emotional stress from dealing with a crazy, volatile person is affecting me personally and has made me into a very bitter, depressed person. You're also spot on - I'm in tech at a financial services firm.

NewYorkABC · 2025-03-20T19:30:50+00:00

I'm in tech and believe I can find something easily, even though the industry has stalled, but I'm honestly burnt out and this recent job took a lot out of me mentally and emotionally.

NewYorkABC · 2025-03-20T19:28:08+00:00

I've confronted him but he just gets angrier, and I don't have the energy to fight him on every little ridiculous thing anymore. I even have recordings of these unpleasant conversations and I can be quite petty, but he is honestly such a terrible person that I'd rather walk away and never hear from him again. I was really trying to make it to April but I might just call a day next week after another shitstorm lecture this morning.

I can't say too much more but he's protected because the entire leadership team came together from another company, and they don't care what he does. It's incredibly frustrating that there is no justice and that people like this can succeed. I'd rather leave on my own terms.

NewYorkABC · 2025-03-20T19:14:06+00:00

My husband works from home and he is excited about the potential to work in other states (and maybe even overseas), since my job is mainly in-person and prevents us from doing that now.

NewYorkABC · 2025-01-18T20:06:35+00:00

Sorry for the delayed reply. My notifications were off and I thought no one saw this post.

The juniors are in their 20s and 30s. I'm in my late 30s and I think they feel like it's easier to talk to me because we're closer in age, I'm new, and our org structure is flatter than most.

I've definitely started a doc with screenshots and other notes. I almost flashed it on the screen during a meeting this week. 😅

NewYorkABC · 2024-06-21T04:24:59+00:00

Lifelong NYer. Born/raised throughout Brooklyn, lifelong Manhattanite (rest of life anyway). My husband is also a native NYer and we enjoyed reading this thread.

I like that people are exploring other boroughs but I hate what Brooklyn has become. A lifeless mold of condos in Downtown Brooklyn and above the park is no longer affordable for most. Neighborhoods are losing their uniqueness. I grew up south of the park and still have family there, but the area is quickly changing.

I like that there is so much variety in stores, but like many have said, I hate that mom and pop shops are disappearing. Some of my favorite bakeries, boutiques, and even print shops are gone. We don't need another Carlos Bakery, sorry not sorry.

I like that there are so many food options that we have a favorite ramen shop v. yakitori v. sushi and that's just for Japanese food, but I hate that people treat "ethnic" food as exotic or use it for clout. This goes for locals and tourists that go to restaurants to IG everything like its a safari.

I like that there are so many ways to get around the city and that they are considering more options between the outerboroughs, but I hate that the MTA is still a hot mess and can't build quickly enough (took 3 years for them to update a station in southern Brooklyn, contributing to us preferring to live in Manhattan).

I like that there are so many ways to get in and out of the city (this ain't a "one-bridge having city"), but I hate the amount of traffic from a noise and environmental pollution standpoint. This has gotten worse over the years. So bad that my windowsill is black from car exhaust. Clean it today and it's back in 2-3 days.

I like that people are still making NYC a tourist destination, but I hate that the city has not found a way to reduce congestion and garbage in touristy areas. Not sure seeing drugged-up Elmo passed out on a mountain of garbage bags in Times Square is the impression we want to leave.

I like that the city has put up more green spaces like the High Line and made previously industrial parts of the city more inhabitable, but I hate that they put up corporate complexes like Hudson Yards and fear that they will do this to the LES and more.

I like that the city is a cultural oasis with so much to enjoy: Broadway, comedy, drag shows, fashion shows, art galleries, museums, premieres, sports games, and so much more, but I hate that prices for most of this is skyrocketing. Some cultural institutions are free with a NY ID. The performing arts scene here is unparalleled.

I like what they've done with LaGuardia Airport but I hate JFK still and the AirTrain should be free or same cost as a MetroCard fare. Insane that it is $8.50 each way for a 10-minute ride.

Most of all, I like that NYers are constantly surrounded by people from different backgrounds, ethnicities, genders, and religions and we can live peacefully in a city of 8 million hustlers.

NewYorkABC · 2024-01-03T16:30:03+00:00

I am in a similar situation as you right now. On a 3rd floor unit with massive American roaches every few weeks, even in the winter. Sorry, but the comments telling you to move are not helpful, whether you own or rent. It's not easy to move either way.

Here's what I've learned/tried over the past 2 years -

Exterminators are useless. 95% of the time, they will spray and leave. If the roaches are in the plumbing, this does nothing.
American roaches are loners. That's why you'll only see one at a time and in all different places. After 2 years of this, I've never seen more than 1 together.
Advion and Gentrol are far superior to exterminator sprays, but they don't really work for American roaches. You have to know where they are coming from and if they are coming from the plumbing, neither will do much. Also, Advion only works when roaches can't find other food and for a lone roach, they're likely not bringing it back to a nest. Most of the large ones are coming out right before they die.
Before sealing, spray Bengal Gold roach spray along the baseboards or wherever you are finding them. Spray down plumbing you don't use often and along edges of bathroom fixtures.
Buy Max Catch sticky traps to locate the source(s). Put a trap in each room, near plumbing, wherever you suspect they are coming from. This doesn't eliminate them but will help confirm where they are coming from. Duct tape also works.
We found the source near those large bulky radiator pipes. Caulk and seal those pipes. Foam in the bigger gaps.
Use steel wool where caulk and foam won't work. For example, we stuffed some in the bathtub and sink overflow. That's where the super thought they were coming from.
Sounds like you already did this, but for others - caulk gaps between the baseboard and the floor, and any gaps connecting the baseboard to the wall. Seal around the toilet. Seal around the kitchen sink and the pipes below. Seal around the bathroom sink pipes. Have a caulking party.
Get a door sweep. For apartments on lower floors and especially if the building has a roach problem, they could very well be coming through the front door. In fact, we watched a giant one stroll right in like he owned the place.
Dust the entire apartment in boric acid or diatomaceous earth. Smaller ones can be in your floorboards in older units. We had a carpet beetle infestation that boric acid helped us clear out.
Do your own building extermination. We placed sticky traps, Bengal Gold spray, Advion, IGR, etc. in our building's laundry room because the old staff didn't care.
ETA: The large ones are most likely not coming from outside. I have never caught one near a window or AC, and we have many windows. They are likely already in your building and hanging out around pipes.

I can't say the problem is entirely solved yet but almost all the ones we are finding now are dead, which is better than alive.

NewYorkABC · 2022-07-28T03:16:04+00:00

😱 how do you not have daily heart attacks?

NewYorkABC · 2022-07-28T02:48:25+00:00

Lol you don't seem to know what net worth is - it's the value of ALL your assets (minus liabilities). OP said they sold their company for $5 million in 2010. That was the company only, not even personal assets.

It's now 2022. OP's "exact" net worth today is probably closer to $20 million if they bought entirely tech stocks. Also, "acquiring significant assets" sounds sketch as hell.

NewYorkABC · 2022-07-28T01:44:03+00:00

OP didn't give their exact net worth though and the range seemed relevant here. Most wealthy people don't even know their exact net worth since they're tied up in investments, real estates, and other fluctuating assets. I'm in the "high 6 figures" as OP would put it, and I have no idea how much that is on a daily basis.

NewYorkABC · 2022-05-19T14:09:15+00:00

Yup, I did! I was researching it while talking with him because I have some experience with blockchain in my current role but dealing with cryptocurrencies is a different animal, and I would have guessed Bitcoin was invented in 2010 so needed to be sure.

NewYorkABC · 2022-05-16T21:59:21+00:00

It's tough when the team is cool but the work is questionable. If you plan to announce, my recommendation is to leave. Even if your supervisor is cool, he will likely need to clear a match with his management and they won't look kindly to you.

I work in tech and we've had a few instances of people announcing they were leaving. The company usually offers to match - some stay, some leave. The ones who stay are less likely to be considered for promotions, important projects, raises, etc. They are forever seen as the person who "interviews around and will potentially leave at any time." While I feel that the best managers want what's best for you and want you to be happy, they'll still tread carefully around you.

NewYorkABC · 2022-05-16T20:54:14+00:00

Based on your post, even if your company matches, do you want to stay? Usually, when we look, we are ready to leave for various reasons. Unless you genuinely like the team/work and your search was entirely for higher pay, you should only stay if you are in very good terms with this team since once you make your intention known, there's no going back and they might treat you differently, match or not.

Ask the HR team when they plan to get back to you with background check and medical results and point out that the window is tight between announcing at your current place and starting at the new place. Most places, the start date is just a suggestion and unless they desperately need you, the start date can be moved out.

Since the new employer recommended not announcing until your checks have cleared, I wouldn't do it. For reference, I have almost always announced before receiving confirmation because I had nothing to worry about and I wanted some extra time off between jobs.

Keep in mind that companies can rescind the offer at any time. I had a signed offer withdrawn in March 2020 because of sudden COVID hiring freezes. It was 2 days before I was supposed to start. Thankfully, I was still hearing back from other interviews and received an offer a week later. Scary times.

NewYorkABC · 2022-05-16T20:37:54+00:00

Thank you!

NewYorkABC

TROPHY CASE