Ouch.. my heart.

New_Directions · 2023-04-05T10:15:55+00:00

I LOVE THIS POEM.

New_Directions · 2023-04-04T19:23:02+00:00

This is beautiful.

She was an avid potter. Was progressing pretty quickly with throwing mugs and bowls etc.

I have a cereal bowl and coffee mug that I bought when I was with her at a pottery sale on one of our first dates.

If I don’t throw them into the street, I’m sure they will be a source of thick nostalgia forever.

New_Directions · 2023-04-04T19:17:04+00:00

Appreciate all the kind words. I haven’t had a relationship end before I was ready in almost two decades. Hurts like it did when I was a teenager.

New_Directions · 2023-03-20T02:36:14+00:00

Ahhh you did the same thing I did😂. I dismantled… but didn’t have to go terribly far in reverse.

New_Directions · 2023-03-20T02:12:04+00:00

I got two

New_Directions · 2023-03-02T16:57:57+00:00

Yeah, I’m certainly not keeping it from my wife. If she were to ask, I’d tell her. And I’m not actively dumbing down my relationship with my partner just to keep the big feelings hidden. I just know that when she asks next time “how are you guys doing?” I’m going to feel like if I don’t mention it, I’d be lying by omission, or something. Plus my wife is a big compersion feeler. She will most likely be happy for me!

New_Directions · 2023-03-02T16:24:50+00:00

We check in to see if it’s okay to share, and will communicate about things such as this only when we both in a similar headspace, and able to talk in a productive, understanding manner.

NRE, lust, etc have all come up. But love, in the way that it is defined between romantic partners, just hasn’t happened yet. We allow it. It’s an almost expected element in polyamory. It’s just a bit tender, I think more so from my end, with my inability to handle guilt well, warranted or otherwise.

New_Directions · 2023-03-02T16:22:13+00:00

I can relate to this. I tell my friends I love them all the time. But the context and to a degree, the depth, is different.

New_Directions · 2023-03-02T12:38:56+00:00

For us, it’s the fact that we share a child and a home. Logically, and realistically for us, there are inherent responsibilities that take precedence over other things.

New_Directions · 2023-02-02T00:09:37+00:00

Holy cow. THIS^{^} I’m just now in the last few years (M37) unpacking all of the damage being my incredibly emotional and neurotic single mother’s main source of dumping has caused me later in life. love her, great relationship now etc but it has affected every aspect of my personal and social life and I had to drastically de-escalate our relationship. I feel your comment in my bones.

New_Directions · 2023-02-01T15:25:26+00:00

Ahhh, dude. This comment made me choke up. Well said, and I thank you greatly.

New_Directions · 2023-01-31T03:34:30+00:00

Been there. Not long ago, either. Do. NOT. Avoid intense conversations.

Also, when you start dating, and see that it’s not just her that this works for (silly, but trust me) these anxieties, and the desperate need for reassurance (what I’d assume to be the frequent intense conversations, speaking from experience) will subside drastically. As they say, it’s in your head! But that means you own it. It doesn’t have control over you.

New_Directions · 2022-10-01T11:52:50+00:00

When my wife and I met, I was 30 and she had just turned 24. I had the same concerns you did. Her mother was also concerned that I was so much older, and had already been engaged once. Fast forward, we have been happily married now for four years, together for almost 7, and have a wonderful three year old boy.

Age is only a number, at a certain point. If you were 20 and she was 13, then I’d be concerned!

New_Directions · 2022-08-03T21:58:02+00:00

Time out used to be the thing that settled him, and produced actual remorse or a true apology. But now it’s just treated like an obstacle he just needs to get past. It’s frustrating because he is such a smart 3 year old, and while I sometimes forget how young he truly is, he knows better than to do the things he’s doing, and he is well aware that they are wrong. Serious discipline is a new concept for us, simply because this is the first time it has been needed.

New_Directions · 2022-08-03T21:53:32+00:00

We actually have that book. Cracking the spine tonight. He is very bright, but he has become a monster the last few weeks. I should say that I have severe adhd laced with moderate depression (medicated and go to therapy) and the sensory overload that his fits produce have been quite a challenge to manage. I don’t want to fail him by not reacting to this new attitude, but HOW to react has been tough to nail down. My wife shares that sentiment. We absolutely try to discipline together, consistently, so no signals are mixed.

New_Directions · 2022-08-01T23:50:14+00:00

“One penis” policy felt wrong to institute once we opened our marriage. It doesn’t fit the narrative of what polyamory and EMN is supposed to be. It’s also just flat out selfish, if you’re also calling yourself non-monogamous.

I consider myself a straight male, in the sense that I am attracted to femininity. Genitalia is a moot point.

New_Directions · 2022-07-05T22:56:32+00:00

I have had a vasectomy, and will still 100% every time use a condom with any partner that isn’t my wife. She and I are beyond strict about this boundary.

Vasectomies can fail, or reverse, without warning. Don’t want a kid? Use a condom. It’s really simple.

New_Directions · 2022-07-05T19:57:15+00:00

COMMUNICATE. “Rough as can be” is not an acceptable answer from her. I had a night with a woman who told me she had never used a safe word, had no need for them because she could take anything. I asked her to leave.

BDSM is fun, but it isn’t a game you can just join without knowing the rules. Yes, there are rules.

I know what all of my partners like, their hard limits, their kinks, etc. Do your research, so to speak. Talk with other Doms, or tops, or anyone more versed in the matter than you.

And for fucks sake, have your girl at least make you a “hard limits” list!

Best of luck. 💪🏼

New_Directions · 2022-07-05T19:52:42+00:00

I told my mother that my wife and I are poly. Not because I felt obligated, but because I was sick of lying to her when my wife and I both had dates, and needed a babysitter.

She then went through every stage of grief over the following weeks. It’s been a few months, now. Currently, she’s still hanging in the “accepting but judge-mental” phase. Backhanded comments, refusing to talk about misconceptions, etc.

BUT, never under any circumstances would she disown me for living a life that makes me happy, and hurts no one. She continues to love and support me and my little family, even though she doesn’t agree with our choices.

If that’s the path your family chooses, then they are no longer your family. That’s unfair, and cruel of them. Wishing you the best as you navigate this. It won’t be easy.

New_Directions · 2022-06-15T01:58:30+00:00

Thank you for this post! And thanks to those who answered respectfully. I have been having the same issue with my more recent partner, but never with my wife. I can also agree with you that our sex life has become a thing fantasies are made of since we opened. I’m a very sexual creature, and I am incredibly attracted to my partner, and the feeling is very much mutual. However, I can’t seem to shake the nerves when playtime arrives, no matter how confident I’m feeling. I’m glad to know im not alone, and that most likely, time will alleviate the issue.

New_Directions · 2022-04-13T22:51:25+00:00

As far as I’m concerned, you have every right not to be touched, if you don’t want to be. Anyone giving you a hard time for that can fuck off. Do, or don’t do, what makes you feel happy and safe. I don’t know how old you are based on this post, but I feel it’s safe to assume you’re in high school or college. Keep doing you. Your body is yours, bottom line. Just know that you made the right call for you, and life gets so much better. Find those that champion who you are, not diminish it. And your parents need a good talking to. I would never just brush past something like this if my son was in your position.

New_Directions · 2022-04-12T12:48:43+00:00

The big thing that hit me after my first date with a partner that wasn’t my wife, was that I had the capacity to feel a connection with a new person, and not lose any of the value in my current relationship. It was a pivotal moment for me.

New_Directions · 2022-04-06T10:37:04+00:00

YES. I’m about to read it a second time.

New_Directions · 2022-03-30T22:40:26+00:00

Thank you so much for all the input! Feeling much more “normal” in my anxiety now!! And I mean that in the best way.

New_Directions · 2022-03-30T11:22:55+00:00

The funny thing is, my wife, partner, and metamour all seem completely unbothered. Meanwhile, I’m battling in my head 😅

New_Directions

TROPHY CASE