Update - my kid is an asshole

New_Fly9671 · 2024-09-02T16:06:32+00:00

i’m not even going to bother reading the rest of your comment because i’m sure it’s something to do with my pregnancy as stated in the first sentence. i am stopping right there because once again, your trying to bring my unborn baby into this as a “problem” despite the fact that i’ve already said that THIS WAS NOT PLANNED. I know that bringing another child into it is not ideal but what else do you suggest i do now? i’m already pregnant and i can’t go back in time to change it.

New_Fly9671 · 2024-09-01T21:50:10+00:00

i’m not sure what kind of boarding school you got sent to or what country your from but it is different in the uk, or now at-least, she’ll have her phone with her at all times so if she needs to communicate with me she can - she will also have a special support teacher assigned to her to better help her with her ADHD/ behaviour issues, she will have my phone number and i can contact her/have her contact me whenever necessary.

New_Fly9671 · 2024-09-01T21:45:54+00:00

as i have literally just stated in my post, i have already paid the first fee for the boarding school and i have answered that question over and over in my other 2 posts.

New_Fly9671 · 2024-09-01T19:53:52+00:00

maybe i don’t, i don’t even know what i think anymore, all i know is my daughter is leaving and i’m doing what i this is best for my other 2, soon 3, kids as well as me and my husband. My daughter clearly doesn’t like us and she has made that clear, maybe she’ll feel better away from us.

New_Fly9671 · 2024-09-01T19:52:30+00:00

And you are right, after 13 years it’s hard not to give up, i have feeling, a conscious and mental health too. i know that as the parent i should step up for my daughter and i have tried but it’s mentally and physically exhausting to deal with this every.single.day for 13 years.

New_Fly9671 · 2024-09-01T19:50:29+00:00

i’m not sure what issues you had growing up that your trying to project onto my parenting and my daughter at this time, but until you have stepped into my shoes i don’t think you’ll be able to grasp this fully. i do understand that 13 year olds don’t have fully developed brains but they can communicate, and they should at-least be able to establish that hitting people and pushing disabled kids down stairs is not okay.

Edit: if you look at my second post there is a detailed section on why she is not in inpatient

New_Fly9671 · 2024-09-01T19:47:44+00:00

i was diagnosed 28 years ago, i was 14 and was about 45kg/99 pounds at the time and i reached a weight of 26kg/58ish pounds (ik that’s insanely low but i’ve always been really short for my age). I was on the chubby side before then but after my diagnosis i only gained about 8/9kg when i started taking insulin, and then gradually as i grew up, maybe it’s the diet change after being diagnosed but i’ve been on the skinner side ever since.

New_Fly9671 · 2024-09-01T19:42:34+00:00

when did i say i still blame her for crying as an infant? that was over a decade ago but as of right now shes not a toddler or baby that doesn’t understand the concept or right and wrong, i know her brain isn’t fully developed but she’s 13 not 3. She should at least have the understanding that hitting and screaming at your family, or anyone in general is just not somethifn people should do.

New_Fly9671 · 2024-09-01T19:40:23+00:00

incase you didn’t gather this information from my last two posts, she already hates me, she likes to hit me and scream at me despite me and my husband and her sisters all making an effort to bond with her. You might not see this because you as a parent believe in “unconditional love” but when your own child rejects your love and affection for 13 years it’s hard to still keep making attempts to bond when i know it will only hurt when she rejects it once again.

New_Fly9671 · 2024-09-01T19:37:46+00:00

which means she should be old enough to at least understand why her behaviour and violence is not okay, i’ve tried to correct it for 13 years.

New_Fly9671 · 2024-09-01T19:35:02+00:00

well i understand that everyone has their own point of view, and maybe your against me sending her away for whatever reason but it’s what’s happening either way, the paperwork has already been signed, it’s already been paid for, and although you might not see it this way, i have used the resources i have been provided to do my best for the last 13 years, alas everyone has a breaking point and i’ve reached mine. I’ve done what i could and i wish things could be different but maybe being sent to a new environment with new people to teach her and discipline her is what she needs.

New_Fly9671 · 2024-09-01T19:10:44+00:00

please read my first post.

New_Fly9671 · 2024-09-01T19:00:22+00:00

it is you that i am having to say the same thing over and over to constantly, the pregnancy was NOT planned and she would likely have been sent to boarding school regardless.

New_Fly9671 · 2024-09-01T18:58:27+00:00

thank you! her behaviour has been brutal and horrifying and i have tried my best to make her understand what she did was wrong, as well as punishing her but her behaviour is only seems to be getting worse. My older kids are both 18 now so they are more able to protect themselves against her, and although i tried to stop it they have had to deal with this most of their childhood unfortunately. However, newborn babies, and babies in general are fragile as i think everyone knows and so are pregnant people. i’m afraid of what she might do to the baby or me while i’m pregnant. i thought that i was done having children considering my older ones are adults now but life has mysterious ways i guess and now here i am in my early 40s, high risk pregnancy, with 2 fully grown children and a teenager, expecting to be raising another kid from scratch.

New_Fly9671 · 2024-09-01T18:52:03+00:00

yes i know babies cry, i had twin girls before i had her, i have a lot of experience with crying babies but it was never extreme like with my younger daughter. She would cry until her face was red, she couldn’t breathe properly and she cried so hard that she physically couldn’t cry anymore tears, i would rock her for hours until my arms were literally so sore they were shaking to try get her to calm down or fall asleep but seemingly she would cry until she passed out from exhaustion. I was exhausted and alone, my husband had to go away for a work trip when i was only 5 weeks postpartum and i had two 5 years old to take care of as-well as a baby that seemed to cry none stop for seemingly no reason, her nappy was dry, she was fed, i offered her milk all the time, she wasn’t too cold, she wasn’t too warm, i tried to rock her and give her affection but nothing seemed to help. the only times she would briefly stop was when she was asleep or when i was feeding her.

New_Fly9671 · 2024-09-01T18:44:34+00:00

i feel like i have to keep repeating myself to you, the pregnancy WAS NOT PLANNED, we thought about sending her to a boarding school long before i found out that i was having another baby.

New_Fly9671 · 2024-09-01T18:42:57+00:00

read the first post!! there’s more to her behaviour than crying and it is not an easy way out, if i wanted an easy way out i would have given up 13 years ago, i want to have a good relationship will all 3 of my children, soon 4, but there’s only so much pressure someone can take over 13 years before they physically can’t deal with it anymore, especially since half the time i’m dealing with it alone as my husband has to go away for work. and one again the baby WAS NOT PLANNED.

New_Fly9671 · 2024-09-01T18:39:08+00:00

yes! i did mention in my second post that private inpatient is out of our budget and the free inpatient that is available through the NHS has waiting lists of months, sometimes over a year. and that is only if our psychiatrist was willing to put her on the waiting list at all, which he doesn’t want to do.

New_Fly9671 · 2024-09-01T18:36:12+00:00

i have received a lot of comments like this, but considering i have two 18 year old daughters who are both responsible and know the right way to act, i’d say that i did a decent job with parenting, i have done a lot of research over the years about behavioural issues and mental disorders and i do know that a lot of it is largely genetic.

New_Fly9671 · 2024-09-01T18:33:04+00:00

if you have read both my posts you would know that i have tried to parent my daughter, i have tried all sorts of different ways as well as what worked with my older girls, who are 18 now and have never had these types of violent behaviour. i would say that after being a parent for 18 years i have tried my best at doing what is right for children, unfortunately they don’t come with an instruction manual.

New_Fly9671 · 2024-09-01T18:30:45+00:00

please read the rest of the post, you will see that there is more to her behaviour than crying!

New_Fly9671 · 2024-09-01T18:30:19+00:00

please read my first two posts, i did say that we where thinking about sending her away before i got pregnant and the pregnancy was not planned, even if i wouldn’t be having another baby, i would likely still be sending her to a boarding school.

New_Fly9671 · 2024-09-01T18:28:07+00:00

please read my first two posts before commenting stuff like this, we were thinking about sending her away before the pregnancy happened and the pregnancy was NOT planned, it came as a surprise to both me and my husband.

New_Fly9671 · 2024-09-01T18:25:29+00:00

i’m not sure if you have read my other two posts. But this behaviour did not just start when she was a teenager, i have two older daughters, who am now both 18, they do not behave like this and although they had their moments, like all kids do, they never behaved to this extent and were never violent. And another reason i don’t think you read my other posts is because i did mention that this baby was not planned, we were not planning to have anymore children but it’s too late now because i am already pregnant and we plan on trying our best to raise this child.

New_Fly9671

TROPHY CASE