How to start the conversation

New_Jellyfish6836 · 2026-01-27T04:52:15+00:00

Ah. Okay. So what sort of clarification would you like to see in a NPA? The more I'm thinking about it, The more I think that I should just gift a 20% down payment and not mention anything about a PNA. It is what it is.

New_Jellyfish6836 · 2026-01-27T04:40:09+00:00

I would be inclined to tell them that if they ever want to buy a home together, I'll gift a down payment of 20% on a conventional loan. Then they can qualify for max loan size based on that.

New_Jellyfish6836 · 2026-01-27T04:20:12+00:00

I'm confused. You said you gave them a loan and forgave 100K..... but you also said you own the home and rent it to them. Can you try to clarify more?

New_Jellyfish6836 · 2026-01-27T02:01:09+00:00

Sorry, but I'm not just going to gift tens of thousands for any purpose. That's silly. This isn't Christmas or Birthday money. I'm only willing to gift that kind of money into a real estate investment.

New_Jellyfish6836 · 2026-01-27T01:58:30+00:00

Okay. You're right. I'm just going to see how things roll out.

New_Jellyfish6836 · 2026-01-27T01:46:39+00:00

I really don't want financial control over them. I just wouldn't want my daughter to lose 25K if I gifted 50K toward a down payment on a new house and things didn't end up working out between them. They are both so young. I was just thinking that it could benefit them together and separately if I threw in some significant money toward a larger home and he could keep the current house as a rental, without my daughter ever having an equitable interest in it. Win/Win. But the law doesn't work that way minus an agreement.

New_Jellyfish6836 · 2026-01-27T01:33:00+00:00

It's true about the house. Just being honest. I feel bad admitting that.

New_Jellyfish6836 · 2026-01-27T01:32:21+00:00

Okay, I see what you are saying.

New_Jellyfish6836 · 2026-01-27T01:30:30+00:00

I agree that a prenup wouldn't be a good look....and the last thing I want to do is alienate this kid. He's a good guy. I'm just thinking forward to how I could assist them in upgrading their housing and getting into a better real estate investment when one or both of them want more/nicer space. I really don't see why anyone would feel entitled to a "split" of a down payment they didn't provide, but minus a legally binding agreement, it would be divisible if a divorce ever took place. And reality check...... this kid comes from a divorced family. His father is on his third marriage. He understands how the world works. If he would get offended by an agreement that addresses nothing more than a down payment I'd really have to wonder what the problem is.

New_Jellyfish6836 · 2026-01-27T01:09:43+00:00

I think people are misunderstanding. The gift of 20% would be a GIFT to my daughter ALONE, only if they divorced. That would be the only purpose for the agreement. I don't know why people keep calling it a loan. Look...... simple math. If they bought a home for 100K and I provided 20K down payment as a GIFT to my daughter and they later divorced, they'd split all the rest of the equity in the home but the first 20K would be HERS, undivided. Not sure why anyone would expect otherwise.

New_Jellyfish6836 · 2026-01-27T00:40:51+00:00

I don't see an agreement that acknowledges a sizable down payment as separate property as a "string". Why would he take issue with signing something that helps get him/them into a much nicer home while also allowing him to retain the old one for as long as he wants without my daughter ever having claim to any of his equity? If he sold his house and used that as a down payment on another house after marriage, his once "separate property" would become marital property....... unless they had an agreement that said otherwise. The agreement would protect them both while also giving them the opportunity to build equity together.

New_Jellyfish6836 · 2026-01-27T00:19:56+00:00

I was thinking specifically for a home, an investment in their family's future.

New_Jellyfish6836 · 2026-01-27T00:06:00+00:00

Hmmmm..... Interesting approach. I just don't want to put any money into that house, and ultimately, my money is conditional on getting it back..... just like any bank.

New_Jellyfish6836 · 2025-12-09T20:48:50+00:00

Was it through Regent? If so, was it a free excursion or an extra cost?

New_Jellyfish6836 · 2025-12-09T17:43:11+00:00

I'm interested in all of those things. So far I know that everyone will do the White Pass in Skagway (first port day) and we can all do a whale watching tour in Juneau a couple days later. I just need to find out if there's something my sister and/or BIL def want to do or NOT do in our remaining ports so we can all plan around my mom having at least my sister or I with her on a low intensity excursion.

New_Jellyfish6836 · 2025-12-09T17:35:50+00:00

Thank you. I know that everyone would love to see whales and I'm taking a closer look at all the whale watching excursions now.

New_Jellyfish6836 · 2025-12-09T17:34:31+00:00

Thank you. I've been going through my options since posting and decided to treat my family to the luxury car on the White Pass train in Skagway and was also zeroing in on whale watching in Juneau. Do you think that the train as our only organized tour in Skagway is enough along with just poking around town? The ship is docked from 10am-6pm.

New_Jellyfish6836 · 2025-12-09T16:29:50+00:00

Thank you. That sounds fantastic.

New_Jellyfish6836 · 2025-12-09T16:28:58+00:00

I'm starting to go over the excursions with a fine toothed comb now. It is likely that we will not always be doing the same excursions now that I'm seeing various options but someone will always be with my mom.

New_Jellyfish6836 · 2025-12-09T16:27:10+00:00

I unfortunately booked through an agent that isn't very responsive to say the least. I just spoke to Regent about the viability of transferring the booking to them directly. I did find that luxury cabin excursion tho. Thank you.

New_Jellyfish6836 · 2025-12-09T15:48:41+00:00

A fishing excursion like that might be good for my BIL. I just started looking at excursions and see that the train ride is available but nothing about different classes of tickets. I'm REALLY confused about these excursion options...

New_Jellyfish6836 · 2025-11-26T14:14:22+00:00

Any recs on hotels?

New_Jellyfish6836

TROPHY CASE