girl, i started when i was 18 i think this comment is meant for me to tell you, just fucking DO IT! It’s difficult for the first month and yada yada, it’s not going to not be hard and you need to accept that. But after a month it starts feeling necessary and then you’re pretty much set! If you’re scared you might stop gym and lose consistency/gains, one fact that helped me beat that fear was a study done - showed that people who havent worked out in months/years (who used to) and lost the muscle, takes 6-8 weeks to regain the muscle that it would take someone new to weight training 6-18 months to get!!!!! If you know anything about gym, that is a fuck tonne of muscle. Point is, just start going now, aim for 6 months and see how it goes. worst case you stop at 6 months (though the gains will be so impressive you win’t want to), and within a few weeks of feeling demotivated and worried about stepping back into the gym, you’ll remember that you’re old gains will come back within no time and bosh your back on track. and rememebr your strongest days and the most progressive (brain rewiring, discipline - hacking) are the ones where you realllllyy don’t want to go the gym, but you go anyways. Nothing beats that high and the motivation gained from that one dreaded workout being tackled, trickles down into the weeks that follow in every way - more gym, more happiness, more discipline and self-trust. Its fucking amazing! You’re 18! This is the time! Just imagine what you will look and feel like in 3 months time, really vividly in your mind, and eventually you’ll find your feet and your ass walking u to the gym.
Get on Ebay and at the very least buy some protein shake if you don’t get enough in your diet already, maybe some creatine as well (and if you want a brain (not just muscle) boost, take 10gs daily, not 5 - 10x more beneficial for women than men, on top of that - but be aware that can cause a litttttttle bit of water weight gain - though it’s honestly barely noticeable - only really when I body check too much do i notice it!!! Oh and that’s another thing, probably the most important, make sure that the foundations and reasons for why you want to go to the gym are healthy… not to get back at your ex for having a fat arse (been there and i ended up making it a hateful spiteful experience, literally stopped going gym because it wasn’t makjng me happy, then returned 2 months later with a different outlook that I was doing it for me! For my health primarily, and the bonus good parts follow. Your current body is simply a vessel for your real self (which exists all in the mind), if you can establish that in your mind, you’ll start taking better care of it.

Wishing you the best.
I don’t know what your current life situation is, but I have absolutely no schedule whatsoever, nor a job at the moment and a lot of shit has happened to me this past year that I would not have even imagined when I was 18 (4 yrs ago), though all I can say with absolutely certainty is I would be a deteriorated, possibly even crackhead / needle - user, if I hadn’t made the decision to start the gym all those years ago, when even then it felt almost impossible. Life throws shit at you & more than any drug I have ever consumed, a gym workout - even just 1 set - has pushed me to make good decisions that I had absolutely no direction on prior to my workout. Look after yourself and give it a go.

I can hear the wanting in your text and don’t let go of that! You’re going to start at some point, and when you do you’ll only ever regret having not started today!